Nicky's Handle Bar

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Wednesday 2nd July 2008

On the way to the dentist the driver gets a phone call and after a while passes me the phone.
“It my girlfriend, she want speak to you.”
What?
Hit her with my best Sawadee krup.
No answer. She is too shy to speak.
Dentist to start one of root canals, left hand side, with not much left of the tooth and an exposed nerve after he removes the filling, we decide it’s time has come.
Bye bye tooth.

Now to the right side to replace a crown that I got in Australia that has now gone west.
The roots are still there so they will have to go, I’ll spare you the details on how you can pull the roots out without a tooth to clamp onto.

So here I sit with a 10 day course of antibiotics and my post procedure advice sheet, which says the usual no bungy jumping etc.
That’s okay, it’s the no spitting clause, “must swallow” that doesn’t impress me much.
Why no spitting, “you lose blood clot, get dry socket, big trouble”.
Okay, makes sense, but still not happy, yuck.
Other advice, “No beer”, okay, happy to support Scotland on this one.
Then it comes, “No alcohol” ARRRGH.
I would have screamed but I’m not allowed to open my mouth.

The receptionist writes down in Thai a note to give the tuk tuk driver to get me home.
So with a mouth that looks like a quilter’s starter kit complete with wadding or padding I hand over the note. So what does he do? reads it out aloud to all and sundry.
Oh joy, and he still takes me to the wrong place.

Anyone want to swap your day with mine and it’s only 11:30.

Get a text message from CathyP with an invite to watch the state of origin at Nicky’s Handlebar. Lovely thought, will see if I’m up to it after the aesthetic wears off.
Later and it’s back to Patong and Nicky’s Handlebar. How do I know it’s at 41 Rat-U-Thit Road? Easy. One click on Cathy and Gary’s website http://www.cathyandgarystravelpages.com/ and I even have a map.
Thanks for that.
Meet Kai a friendly staff member and have a chat. He knows Cathy and Gary.
Order a pizza and then realise I’m supposed to only be on fluids, cut up very small, have you ever tried to chew with only your front teeth?

Decide fluids is the better option and order a G&T.
Team CathyP arrives and invites me to their table. Very nice. The state of origin rugby is on so the boys are distracted and CathyP’s sister has blue hair as a sign of support, it was a bit of a shock when she took it off. Nice wig.

There is a whole story about lime slices from this night but to protect the innocent I won’t be publishing it in my diary.
Been here 6 hours and the bill comes, CathyP sees mine and her jaw drops. Perhaps I should have checked the price of the pizza. Wink. It couldn’t have been the fluids, although I am feeling thoroughly hydrated.

CathyP and Kai pour me put me into a Tuk Tuk for 300 Baht, 300, man she’s good.
Big day so very sound sleep.

(Just a note to any dentists reading, it appears that not all patients follow your advice to the letter. They are bad patients.)
Mum don’t read any of the above.

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