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Published: January 17th 2008
As with most questions in life, there is usually more than one answer. The answer may be literal or figurative. Subjective or biased. Serious or jovial. A case in point:
Q: How do you make Wes feel nauseous?
A1: Attach a 60m rope to a harness secured around his deliciously slim and trim midsection with the intention of making him climb up a cliff
A2: Feed him the "fine cuisine" of Tonsai.
Q: How do you make Wes sh@t himself?
A1: Get him to climb 28m up from a ledge that's already 20m up and then climb out over another ledge that stands between him and the pinnacle of the route
A2: Feed him even more of the "fine cuisine" of Tonsai. And possibly the water.
Q: How do you make Wes extremely happy?
A1: Get him over that little ledge so he can enjoy the amazing view over Tonsai bay!
A2: Get him over the "Tonsai Tummy"!!
Q: How do you make Wes sad?
A1: Give him a second case of "Tonsai Tummy" severely limiting his ability to climb those big hard limestone things
A2: Give him a second case of "Tonsai Tummy" severely limiting his ability to charm that cute little Canadian thing
And so was my experience of Tonsai. To quote Dickens. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness. It was a time to climb high above the ground, it was a time to cling firmly to the toilet. It was a season of friends of fun, it was a season of fights and fractions.
Tonsai is the climbing capital of Thailand, with some of the best cliffs in the world, a chilled atmosphere and several other bays nearby within longboat/kayaking distance. Lacking anything close to the nightlife of Ko Pha Nagn, Tonsai is an activity based kind of a place. A small bay where people rise early to climb all day before grabbing a couple of relaxed beers and generally retiring early in preperation for another day on the cragg. Tonsai was exactly the kind of place i need after the debauchery and excess of the festive season. A place to get active, healthy and decidely off the booze. As is always the case in Thailand things never quite turn out as expected though.
At least i wasn't the only one though. Sam had the shits. Rich had the shits. Luke had the shits. Canadace the cute Canadian had the shits. Julia the cute American had really had the shits. Jay set the record for the shits (14 times in a day for those interested - i came in with the silver effort of 12). But such was life in Tonsai, a place where discussing your bowel movements with new acquaintances was as much a part of life as watching fire poi, slacklines or the local wildlife running around your room.
Everyone had the shits. Or had shared a room with someone who had. Exactly what causes "Tonsai Tummy" is unclear. Early contenders emerged. The BBQ chicken. The salad buffets. The rats. The water. The air. Whatever does it, it's annoying. Tonsai is a place to do things. A place to climb. And no-one wants to be 20m up a wall when nature calls.
(Note i've just got to Hat Yai which has the cheapest internet i've found yet in Thailand - 20B an hour and it is absolutely pelting it down outside so this may turn into the mother of all monster blogs. However the Thai family in here may drive me out. Thai people are seriously loud!)
However I did manage to get out on the cliffs. And i loved it. When i wasn't scared. And even then i liked it. Except for right before a climb when i wondered what kind of a masochistic s.o.b would do this to himself. But then you get on to the rock. And you find holds. And up you go smoothly and swiftly and it's great. And then you get stuck and it's not. You tense up, you forget to relax. You grip tightly, pulling into the rock. The trickle of sweat turns into a flood. Your muscles burn as you dread the drop if you let go. And then you remember. The harness. The rope. Your safe. And you let go. And you don't fall. You think. And look. And find a way. And then you're off again. And so you continue. Up. Up. All the way up to the top. And then you've done it. You've made it. You've survived it. You've conquered it!!
Climbing is a great sport because you're only competing with yourself. If you've got a slight fear of heights, like me, you have a mental battle to win. Trust yourself. Trust your partner. And most of all trust your equipment. The fear makes the climb tougher. The harder your grip the quicker you become exhausted. The more exhausted you are the the harder it is to convince yourself you have the strength to make your next move. But with every climb, with every success, the fear begins to drift away. Falling really helps too... which i've now done twice. Nothing like hurtling backwards off a cliff to convince you that your harness really has got you!
The more i'm climbing the more i want to climb. Soo much so that as part of my border run to Malaysia i'm going to spend the next few days camping by a cliff with Rich doing little else but climbing. Really looking forward to it.
Another trip back to Tonsai is also on the cards. Hopefully without the incontinence. There's something called Deep Water Soloing i want to try. No ropes. No harness. Climbing cliffs over the sea. When you get stuck you simply jump into the sea! Returning to Tonsai should also hopefully allow to take some pictures of some of the most beautiful beaches i've seen yet. My camera is still in Bangkok, fixed but requiring payment, which is turning out to be more complex then it should be!
I also took our not soo fondly remembered trip to Ko Phi Phi (home of Maya bay of "The Beach" fame - didn't bother going - as a sidenote we watched "The Beach" in Ko Pha Nagn which was quite surreal as it really slags off the kind of people who go to Ko Pha Nagn). Ko Phi Phi is an expensive place to stay by backpacker standards, rather developed and not entirely charming. Still it has a beautiful bay and plenty of places to party the night away. And Keri and her Rich, and Lee and Gail for Ko Pha Nagn were there. And so it made perfect sense for the location for Jay's early birthday celebrations. However by the end of the night few were left celebrating.
But the day was fun. We snorkelled out to Monkey Bay. Sam, the New Yorker, nearly drowned, physical activity not being his fortay. Though to his credit his swimming was better then his climbing. Monkey bay itself was fairly self explanatory. A little bay full of monkeys who greedily accepted our bananas and amusingly chased people around. Satisfyingly the most muscular of men on the beach seemed the most afraid and ran away shrieking. The monkeys were fat, bloated and a bit grumpy. But as entertaining as always and there were even baby monkeys too. A fun afternoon.
But it was the evening where the real fun began. Or not. The flirting between Jay and Amy simmered into something more physical. As did the tension between Jay and Luke (the ex). And before you knew it. Jay had a black eye. Luke had a busted lip. Keri had a 2000B fine for having too many people in her room. Our Rich had been kicked out into the street to sleep on the beach. Keri's Rich had cut his hand and foot open but couldn't remember how. And i'd got bored of it all and gone to bed. We don't talk about Phi Phi soo much anymore
Looking back the night probably did some good. My days spent with Jay, Luke & Amy pre Phi Phi were the most tedious i'd spent since being out here and something needed to happen. The various tensions between the 3 were difficult to be around and really only my friendship with Jay stopped me from ditching them. Post Phi Phi Luke left and the mood lifted.
Jay and Rich have been great guys to travel with though (just added them to my blog list so thought i should say some nice words). I've been travelling with them since Laos and been having an absolute ball. Jay and my late night conversations have been absolutely hilarious to probably absolutely no-one but ourselves. But trust me if you'd been there through our ready wrapped Jedi Mindtrick conversations, the original Conan comments and the continuous "Shut Up"'s you'd have been laughing until it hurt too (either that or thinking that we were just plain weird).
And so this lastest blog comes to and end as the rain has stopped and i've been on this computer for far far long. Big Love to you all x x
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Tom Buckham
non-member comment
Ello
Hi mate, sounds like you're continuing to have an interesting, but good trip! Sounds grim about the toilet trips, but sounds like you were in good company, something in the mountain air perhaps! Norwich is cool, radio is going well - speak to you soon!