Settling into the scene

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What I've learned - week two...

I's week 2 and I've now got sufficient dives to start the divemaster internship, so am now busy reading up on dive theory and the roles of divemasters in the business. All very interesting stuff, but there'sd books for you to read if you're interested.

For that reason, I'll instead share with you what I've learned outside the books this week...

Scuba gear is very expensive, especially if your currency keeps declining...but it's always nice to put on a wetsuit that you know has never been peed in by anyone else!!

Yoga on a rooftop at sunset on a tropical island is idyllic & sets the inner chi flowing like Niagra...but you should probably apply insect repellent before the class.

Slapping mosquitos whilst being tied in a yogic knot should definitely not be attempted by amateurs.

The Australian & Thai concepts of what counts as a "chilli" dish are completely different things.

Cats can quite happily sleep in fridges for hours and live to tell the tale.

Every day here feels like a Wednesday. For no particualr reason whatsoever. Because it's not really every Wednesday back at home that I went out on a boat for a dive, a free lunch, tanning time, a second dive & then returned home for a nanna nap followed by a night out with a thai covers band for some good ol' 80's rock...but it still feels like a Wednesday.

Vodka-Red Bull buckets drunk the night before does not a good diver make.

Germans pronounce Darth Vader like "Darth Wader".

My toilet flush breaks once every 4 days. On average.

Other house fixtures such as curtain rails should also be treated as delicate objects. This point should be regarded carefully when one is wearing only underwear.

All Europeans smoke.
A lot.

New wetsuits require:
time to put on - preferably 24 hours
plastic bags to place over the feet to assist with the putting on of the legs
extra arm muscles for abovenoted operation
rest time for when said extra arm muscles tire from the struggle
drink break once it's on
half a scuba shop to convince you that yes, the wetsuit will stretch
two extra people and a further 3 hours to get it off again
another drink break...possibly facilitating such receptacle as a bucket...

Every career path has it's own in-jokes. As an auditor, the standard jokes revolve around materiality, insider trading and competitive interest - in whatever context you see fit. For scuba divers, the out-of-air move can be taken from the water to the dancefloor, and a snorkel test involves more than just a snorkel, and generally leaves the student somewhat intoxicated.

To get a medical checkup to dive in Phi Phi, perform steps one through six:
1. Get medical checkup checklist from scuba shop.
2. Find Phi Phi hospital and hand over checklist for completion
3. Find someone in hospital who can read English*
4. Doctor asks if you feel strong - say yes.
5. Doctor checks ears with pokey ear thingy - hold still.
6. Doctor signs medical release.**
*This may or may not require going to the bakery down the road where the assistant can speak English. Do not move on until step three has been completed succesfully.
**Medical release form may or may not have any weighting in the dive community.

If you're going to stuff up on a water entry, don't do it when the videographer's got their camera on you. It takes approximately 34 minutes for the footage to make it around every dive school on the island.

There are 24 dive schools on the island.

All in all it's ben a fantastic second week and is feeling more like home each day. Once again, I've proven my true hair colour in numerous ways and continue to get recognised for these efforts - both intentionally and otherwise.

Peace out.

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Photos

McDang's
Lesser-known Scottish fast food chain...

Stairs to my bungalow
Look closely...they keep on going and going and going...

Sunrise
Heading off to another tough day of work...