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Published: March 9th 2006
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There are certain aspects of travel that are indisputable. Clothing optional beaches, for instance are one part of globetrotting that I’ve found most agreeable. The beachside stride of an attractive topless woman contains very little to argue with. The beachside stride of a greasy fat dude rockin a Speedo, however, is enough to turn the stomach in ways I’ve never thought possible.
Since I left the islands of southwest Thailand, which seemed to be a European pretty people party relocated, I’ve found a lot to disagree with in the Gulf of Thailand. It’s not all negative, there are still topless women roaming around absolutely gorgeous beaches, but the towns that have sprouted up around these dream sites have done more to pollute the land they lie on than enhance the natural beauty of Thailand.
Ok, so we do it everywhere we go. Who ever thought that strip malls would dominate New Jersey way back when? Very little modern architecture fits into the natural landscape anywhere in the world however the western domestication of Thailand simply sucks. Let me give you an example, Dive shop, Internet Shop, Restaurant specializing in Pizza, Pirate DVD store, Bar, Rinse, Repeat…
Without dwelling
Worship?
This is supposed to be a Buddist shrine but all I found in it was an empty bottle of vodka and a pack of cigarettes... on the negative, Ko Samui, Ko Pang Ngan, and Ko Tao (more the first two than Ko Tao) all contain some of the nicest large stretches of ocean meeting sand that I’ve ever seen. These are likely the places that you’ve seen so many times on your co-worker’s desktop screen saver. I didn’t take too many pictures the past few days because I’ve been a little ill and have also been focusing on recharging my batteries for the final Thai push. I just can’t express my disappointment with all the hype surrounding Thailand.
There are parts that I would revisit, but to all the people I saw on family vacations, I couldn’t help but think…“WHAT THE HELL???” There was a stretch on Ko Samui where I couldn’t decide if I was in NY, LA, or Thailand. McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, all the usual suspects were present intermixed with knockoff retailers and massage parlors that openly advertised “special” massages. True, if I was back in AZ, I’d likely start my morning at Starbucks but that’s what I’ve been trying to separate myself from. I mentioned to Tut about one hour too soon that I hadn’t seen a starbucks since Australia.
Bible Shot
This reminds me of some inspirational picture from Catholic School... Voila! Chai Latte, not too hot with soy milk and non fat sugar?
I’d just assume spend my day passed out on the beach than wander through towns that are polluted with all things American. (At this point in my triad I must point out that I love life at home and can’t wait to get back, but show me some genuine Thai culture PLEASE?!?!?) So that’s generally what I did in Ko Pang Ngan.
We stayed at a place called Paradise Bungalows that was far from Paradise. The toilet backed up unless used every few hours and well, use your imagination from there…
There’s this thing called the Full Moon Party that started off in the eighties as a birthday party for an expat working on the island and has since turned into the most regular rave in the world. Paradise Bungalows is ground zero for the Full Moon Party. There are clubs that line the beach at Haad Rin that appear to be opened only for that one night a month because when I was there, directly between full moons, there were only three bars open out of a possible twelve.
This island, or at
least where I stayed on the island appears to have been completely stripped of any remnants of cultural integrity and instead focuses its entire being towards catering towards drug induced revelers that couldn’t care where they are so long as there is sand and suds… (Again, I must not sound completely high and mighty, the inner Frat boy in me was going absolutely wild, but this trip is the search for something beyond all that I know and love…) Oh and there are these things called Buckets…
Buckets, as they are known, are those things you used to play with as a young child at the beach, attempting to build a sand castle or maybe held in your hand as you walked along the water collecting seashells. They fill those buckets with whiskey, red bull, vodka, basically anything you want and sell them to you at a discount because you are buying in bulk. As I said earlier, I spent half my time sick on the beach…Damn Buckets….
I wondered why everyone shook their head in sadness every time I told them about my path through Thailand, starting in southern Thailand on Koh Lipe and moving north. I
know why now, it’s because the more north you travel, the more touristy and non-Thai the towns become…
I can’t really write anymore about this, I’m thinking about all those fat Israeli Speedos outnumbering the liberated breasts…
Sing it with my Jimmy…
The Weather is here, I wish you were beautiful…
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