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Published: March 7th 2010
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Breakfast
The grrom at breakfast Lat weekend a student invited me to his wedding. He had spent the last month fixing his house for his new bride. I was excited about seeing the ceremony but not about the 4 hour ride to Umpien Camp. He had got permission from the Camp Commander (Thai) for many of his friends to come. Many people were very excited because this would be their first time out of the camp in years. That is something you forget that they just can't come and go that this idyllic setting is in some respects a prison. We were told that we would be picked up at 6am but like many things here time is relative and the truck for us didn't come till 7:30. Being the foreign teachers we rode with the groom in the nice truck. Good because air con bad because the Camp Commander was driving and VERY upset that they were leaving late. He drove like a man possessed and did not stop for breakfast, as we had been told we would, and got to Umpien almost two hours before the rest of the wedding party who was following us in a songthu (think cross between small bus/truck). I
Umpien Camp
Much drier than Nupo and on hills. am not sure what the hurry was we were escorted to a persons house fed some snacks and tea and waited. About two hours later we went to the house of the bride. Oh let me clarify a few things on the ride to the camp I asked my student (the groom) bout his bride to be. I learned that this was an arranged marriage he had never met the bride. At 31 he had decided to get married spoken to some friends and they had found a suitable bride for him. He saved the money needed to pay the family for her and the wedding was set. So we enter the brides house sit in the front room decorated in streamers the groom asked me to sit beside him. I thought I was just going as a "friend" now I was to be "best man" and sit with the groom at least through lunch. There was lots of activity in the back of the house and I kept trying to peak in back. One of the "grandmothers' saw me and waved me back. Here the bride was preparing to get ready for the wedding putting on make-up and getting
Brides House
decorations for festival her hair done. The women decided I was not dressed enough and that I to needed make up. They put the traditional Burmese make-up on me witch is a light tan paste. Anyway we ate some great Indian flavor food. And waited it was probably another few hours. During this time the bride was brought out to a special thrown area. People came and went from the house. The groom had disappeared I was told he had gone to the mosque to pray. Then the Shaikh ( I think) came in with a big piece of paper it was the contract the bride had to agree on to be official. He then returned to the Mosque. Then another hour passed as the house became more and more crowded. The bride through out this time was trying not to cry. She looked miserable! She appeared to me very young and it turns out was only 17. So the house fills to the brim with women I am now out side since it was so crowded in . The groom shows up and is not allowed acess to the bride he must pay the women to get to her. So he has
Me made up
I needed make up to to pay his way threw the crowd. At this time I decide to enter the throng and am behind the groom he makes it to the alter but does does not have the 500 baht they are requesting he does have a 1000 baht bill and turns to me asking for change. I don't have any so he asks another friend who takes the 1000 and leaves about twenty (uncomfortable) minutes later returns with change. The women thought have decided to go ahead and let him pass without paying. He and the bride sit together on the throne and pictures begin. It was very sad really she was so upset about the marriage that she would n't touch the groom and refused to hold hands or drink fro the same bottle ( a custom I didn't really understand).
Seeing this made me sad I understand there are cultural differences but I have been to another arranged marriage and it wasn't so sad. I watched for awhile but then went to a teashop till it was time to leave. It turned out we couldn't leave when planned because the bride did not want to return to Nupo with us as planned
Hair do
she had beautiful hair so the families were back in negotiations . It was finally decided that she would come but some of her family would join her. Luckily we had the Camp Commender with us and it didn't take long to arrange. She ended up bringing 14 people with her and another songtu had to be arranged. All in all it was a very interesting day.
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