Advertisement
Published: November 28th 2013
Edit Blog Post
Ever meditated after a pizza binge? Not recommended. The only thing you're likely to connect with is the 3kilo cheddar and dough ball sitting on your large intestine. This is how tonight's Sharers Meeting started for me. The premise: a resident shares their story about their struggles and path to recovery and then you're invited to speak about how this is personally relevant to you. Held in the Forest Hall (beautiful mud brick hall located across the lake just inside the forest. ) About twenty five people attended tonight, I reckon more set out but a few were taken alive by the mozzies on the walk down.
The following is an illustration of the conflict I feel here at NLF. As I listened to P's story I started having a little chat with myself in my mind.
OPEN MINDED GENEROUS-SPIRITED ME "this guy is really brave sharing this with all these people"
CYNICAL ME " yeah but how long's it gonna go on for? I'm full up and knackered. He's only up to the bit where his dog dies when he's seven years old"
OMGS ME "shut up. He's obviously really nervous and emotional. Anyway noble silence
starts at half nine so it can't go on too long"
...An hour later...
CYNICAL ME: "Ffs. He's not even thirty yet, it's gonna go on for ages. And to get this straight- his dog died, he's had a couple of shit jobs and he liked a few pints at the weekend. AND?"
OMGS ME: "you're not listening properly. His parents were a bit mean to him. He nearly failed his GCSEs"
CYNICAL ME: "I love that gecko on the ceiling. His timing with his chirping is comedy gold"
OMGS ME: "he's talking about the love for his girlfriend and how their mutual support pulled them through and got them here. He's crying" (joins rest of the group in supportive weeping)
CYNICAL ME: "get a fucking move on. "
OMGS ME: "ah isn't it great how all the group are thanking him and crying and saying he's an inspiration?"
CYNICAL ME "No, it's nauseating. And I bet he only did this so everyone blows smoke up his arse and says how great he is. Let's get out of here and have a fag"
One week on I think I'm
Me
As requested mct now qualified to make some observations about NLF. I'll be interested to find out how my thoughts and feelings change over the next few weeks.
I think many people come here after researching the foundation via the extensive material on the website, or from recommendations via word of mouth. My expectations were as naive as I think most peoples are; it is easy to believe this is a utopian community full of compassionate, open hearted and understanding individuals, which offers answers to questions you might not have thought of yet, and space for growth and development. In part these things are true. But NLF is also an institution and there is much more to discover. Scratch the surface and there's a hell of a lot going on.
The dynamics are very interesting. As one of the only volunteers who smokes, I spend a lot of time with the residents in the blue room ( outside area covered with mosquito net). The other volunteers say I'm their mole as I can report back on what's being said (mostly endless moaning about life coaches/other residents). It's interesting to see how issues which I find trivial can blow up into huge dramas which are discussed for HOURS. Also it's strange and quite refreshing that people in recovery are extremely open- they tell it like it is which can be extremely entertaining.
At this morning's community meeting when we were asked if we had anything to share D mentioned that there was a strong smell of alcohol in the song tao (taxi type truck thing) on the way back from town. This is a serious issue- the town visit was mainly for the purpose of the weekly AA meeting. If identified the person responsible faces being thrown off the programme and asked to leave. ( OMGS ME: "it's really good D brought this up. Not mentioning it would be a form of enabling the residents abuse which is strictly against the rules. CYNICAL ME "no one likes a grass mate. I'd sleep with your door locked tonight"). After the meeting this becomes the drama of the day, and with the jury of residents there's no such thing as innocent until proven guilty. I'm definitely not missing the telly.
The residents demand all the good jobs and mainly get away with it although I've managed to inveigle myself into a couple of prime positions- the cows (though I'm going off it a bit because cow boss drones on and on about his current issue of the week) - there are daily debates about who should be allowed on the team, apparently Blossom needs consistency and gets upset when introduced to new people. (OMGS ME "It's wonderful that they care so much about animal welfare" CYNICAL ME "It's a freaking COW. Take it on a trip to a proper dairy and then see what demands it makes"
All that said, I am having an amazing time, have met some wonderful people and made some great connections in the weird speeded up way you do when you're away (CYNICAL ME: "yeah let's see what you're saying next week sucker").
Advertisement
Tot: 0.055s; Tpl: 0.01s; cc: 5; qc: 44; dbt: 0.0348s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb