Finally were going to Chang Mai...for how long?!

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So having returned to Bangkok to meet with Lucy’s father we decide to finally head off to Chang Mai. Gareth has spent several weeks saying yes, then no, then yes again etc etc about going to Chang Mai. Someone in his school told him that it was nowhere near a rain forest and that was it, their word must be gospel over anything that the internet, guide books and our friends say, those friends who live in Thailand and used to live in Chang Mai.

Once the stresses and strains of converting Gareth to the truth are completed it is a simple matter of booking a flight for the next day, problem is Gareth wants to fly on Thursday and come back Saturday so it does not leave us much time to do anything much in the area. As it transpire were concerned about money with NZ approaching rapidly and want to bus or train it back to the old BKK.

A quick ride to the airport and were there. What was left of Gareth’s hair on arrival is now totally gone as he has never experienced a high speed taxi drive Bangkok style. Flight on time and 50 mins later were in Chang Mai. As a stroke of luck were picked up from the airport for free due to Sunni’s relative collecting us were whisked off to our hotel. Little do we know but the guy that drove us waits for us down stairs in the hotel lobby whilst we all go for a kip for a few hours!

The remained of the day is spend carrying on having the squits, almost two weeks now, and ambling around the town having a gander and then going to the cinema to get out of the heat. Not to mention the fuss getting Gareth swimming shorts.


A new day and an early start in preparation for our day trip. Despite being late for pick up it’s actually not a problem as we start heading out of town and it’s just the three of us on a tour. We ended up paying the standard rate for what was in effect a private tour. Can’t fault it really.

First stop we make is at a joint attraction, it’s an orchid/butterfly farm. Upon arrival we are presented with an orchid to pin on our clothing and then its through a sheet of metal chains into the butterfly farm. Nothing outrageously exciting here but it is a pleasant site having hundreds of flutterbys all around you, bloody hard to get a decent picture of the in flight with a camera like ours as whilst it does take nice shots its got a very slow shutter speed and we’ve not yet figured out how to change it…if at all possible. The orchid side of things is pretty but nothing that I can appreciate as it’s not really my kettle of fish at all but they do have pretty colours and do NOT make me sneeze so it’s a boner as far as I am concerned.

Quite a tortous drive follows on the way to the elephant farm as were not strapped into the back of the van and as there are so few ppl in it were buffeted from one side to another and back and forth. Dust galore is thrown into the air and the pot holes look like bombs have landed in them causing the huge dust bowls we see everywhere. A good hour of bumps, dust and whiplash follows before we arrive for a walk and an elephant ride.

Very briefly, a 45 mins walk to a waterfall called ___________ and we take a break, strip off and get soaked standing under the actual waterfall and have a little splash around in the water. Bloody cold, but really nice and refreshing after a sweaty walk plus it also feels much nicer and smoother on the skin than salt water. And guess who didn’t get in the water after making a huge fuss about buying swimming trunks…Too busy telling the Thai tour guide about our “Pretty shitty city” as Swansea is so frequently called.

The elephant ride! Neither of us liking heights we approach the non tusked variety with some trepidation and it’s a little nasty standing on the poor guys head and neck to get aboard him but get aboard him we do. It is hard to believe that an animal this big and cumbersome can actually move with any pace yet alone stampede. Wobbling back and forth coming to a complete stop on corners is how the journey progresses for some time until we get to a feeding station. 20 baht buys us a huge amount of bananas for the elephant, yes the elephant as Gareth decided it would be good to eat a few.

Never having fed an elephant it was with great amusement that the big old buggers trunk comes flying backwards to you, snaffles up the banana in his trunk and the brings it back to his mouth, then it comes hurtling back to you releasing a huge amount of slobber in your direction and if your unlucky it will land in your ear like with me. Of we went for a river crossing and all the while our driver is smoking huge fag with a little bit of Marry Joanna in it. Once across the river its wee wee and poo poo time and boy does he go for it big style, its like a river of pee, if your small enough to fit underneath you could probably shower yourself off.

Once unloaded we take a huge break for him to eat himself stupid, how many branches can an elephant fit in his mouth? Answer: a shed load. Having taken his lions share of the food, smart thinking as there are 4 more elephants behind we take a leisurely ride back across the river, up an enormous slope and were home James. All the while our driver smokes dope and leaps off to take pics of us for free. All in this ride was a highlight for Lucy as she adores elephants and was a brilliant experience or us both

A leisurely lunch and then onto the white water rafting. An experience Lucy and I missed out on In the Dominican Republic as we were both sick on the day, and more than likely too busy shouting at each other. As expected it al starts of gently and builds up into a more speedy experience but literally straight after we set off we crash into the first set of rocks it is possible to find. This is an experience that we will get used to along the course of this little adventure. Several highlights occur in this trip, one being that we actually get through a few “rapids” without screwing up and also the perving opportunities offered when another girl was pushed from her craft and she was bent over climbing back into it just centimeters from my face. Shame, girls in bikinis bent over, good job Lucy was in the back of the boat or she’d have given her father one hell of a row her staring with his tongue hanging out. Going into Grand Prix mode on the easy parts was fun as it was the first bit of really enjoyable exercise I feel that I have done since before we came away, Mount Kinabalu doesn’t count as it was harrowing!

Sadly, the rafting experience ends too soon and were off for a slow cruise down the river on a bamboo raft. Pleasant but lacking the excitement of the white water rafting. Appetites have been whetted for New Zealand and some real rapids there. The trip ends with a hill tribe tour which is more of a circus show than anything else, and yes we have to listen to Gareth talking about Wales again. Were in Thailand and they want us to know about their country, not you beating your chest singing the praises of the dump that we sadly live in.

As trips go, you pay more and you get more with this one. Certainly one of the best that we have done together and one of the best I have done in any country.

On leaving Chang Mai, the prophecy we were told by a wise Chinese man comes true again. If you leave in the morning Air Asia will be on time, if you leave later in the day, the flight will be late. Good job I put my phone on as there was an SMS saying our flight was cancelled and we'd be getting one two hours later. Our flight was probably not full enough. I shall not express my opinion of the taxi driver who took us from the airport back to the house as he was a scamming little bas#ard. We'll put the complaint slip in eventually.

Its unfortunate to see Gareth go in a few days time as its been really good fun and it also remind us that were leaving for New Zealand. But thats something were looking for too.

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