The Wedding Day- Filled with Love

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Well, today was a day like no other. I don’t know if I can put into words the beauty of today. The morning began at 5 am. Today Linnapat (Thai) and Joshua (American) are getting married in Linnapat’s hometown of Nan. This is a northern Thai city that follows Lanna tradition. The wedding rituals was to begin at 7 am so we were told that we needed to leave our room by 6 am. The traditional Thai wedding colors are pink, blue and gold so we made sure that we were wearing those colors.

Traditionally in Nan the bride asks the groom for his hand in marriage. Apparently, this is opposite of all other provinces. The wedding was held at a resort since Joshua did not have a home in Thailand. The resort had a 2 story Lanna building where the morning ceremony and honeymoon suite were located. The ceremony started during the morning sunrise. The bride and groom stood on one side of a long table while 9 monks, each holding a silver bowel, lined the table on the opposite side. Hand in hand, the bride and groom placed water, rice, fruit, soup, milk and flowers in each bowl. After the ninth monk received his food, the first monk offered a blessing. The family then gathered around the couple for pictures. Linnapat was dressed in a gold and pink Thai wedding dress and Josh was dressed in a white shirt and gold Lanna style pants.

At this point we all walked back to the resort’s lobby. It is here that the groom, his parents, Linnapat’s father and uncle and Greg and I sat facing each other around the dowry table. The father asked if Josh and his family would take Linnapat to be his bride and we all answered “yes”. Now, you are probably wondering why Greg and I are even part of this wedding. Well, I too was asking this same question, so perhaps I should do some explaining.

I met Linnapat two years ago at BCNC and we kept in touch through Facebook. When I met her, she had just met Josh. So, we were light heartedly kidding about this relationship leading to marriage. Well, here we are two years later and they are getting married. Fortunately for us, she decided to get married in January so we were able to attend her wedding. In Thai culture it is custom to ask a mentor or special person in your life to officiate the wedding. Pi Jip was asked to be that person for the bride’s side; however, since Josh was not Thai and did not have a local representative, Linnapat chose Greg and I (American and American- a bond that ties us together for a lifetime). Now, we never met Josh in person prior to today except for on Facebook. So, for Josh, he had complete strangers speaking for him and his family. However, it was quiet an honor to have been chosen as this representative and to be asked to participate in the ceremony. We are forever grateful for this opportunity.

Ok, back to the ceremony. At the lobby, we were joined by young high school age boys and girls. We formed two lines. The girls were first in line and danced as we traveled from the lobby back to the house. Following the girls were the boys who played the drums and provided the beat by which the girls danced. Next was Josh who held a decorative item of flowers and banana leaves. Behind Josh was his parents. His parents carried the bride’s dowry. On either side of the parents were Greg and I. I carried a tall sugar cane plant and Greg carried a tall banana tree. Then came his daughters, a boyfriend and some of the faculty from BCNC. We slowly walked toward the home. Once we reached the home Greg had to speak on behalf of the groom’s family. Then the groom had to perform several tasks to prove that he was worthy of Linnapat’s hand in marriage. The Thai version of bridesmaids, formed two lines and were facing each other. Each pair held a flower rope and in order for Josh to cross over this rope he had to complete whatever the girls asked him to do. The first request was that he had to call for Linnapat in Thai. You could tell he was nervous so he did not speak very loud. Apparently, you are to call the bride so that she could hear him. So, Josh had to perform this call around 4 times before he said it loud enough. He was given permission to walk a little farther and then he had to stop and complete the next task. He was asked if he was strong enough to carry Linnapat across the threshold, he said yes, but everyone wanted him to show them his strength. So, he dropped to the ground and did 10 push-ups. Everyone cheered. At the third stop he was asked to name 5 Thai foods that he would want Linnapat to cook for him. Now, fortunately Greg was walking beside him as he was moving through these obstacles so Greg would help him when he could not think of answers. At the fourth stop, he had to say “I love you” in 5 different languages. You should know that he had no heads-up about this tradition so he was not prepped for this activity. His final request was to sing a love song. He was so nervous that he could not think of a song. So, Greg started singing “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine” and Josh began singing with him. At this point, everyone was cheering and Josh and his family were allowed to enter the room where the morning ceremony was going to take place.

The parents, the marriage officiates (Pi Jip, Greg and I) and the bride and groom sat together along the side of the stage while Josh presented the dowry to Linnapat’s parents. It was at this time that Josh’s mother’s blood sugar dropped so I had to get an orange out of my purse, peel it and get her to eat it ASAP. With an additional drink and dessert she bounced back and was fine the rest of the day. After this, the bride and group went up on the stage and Pi Jip went up to provide a blessing, to place oil on their foreheads and to tie white string around their wrists. The rest of us lined up and we all tied a separate string around both bride and groom. Then the uncle of the bride provided a 15-minute blessing (more of a chant) for the bride and groom. At this point, people were dismissed for breakfast which was downstairs. We had rice porridge, tea/coffee, and coconut dessert.

Not long after I began eating breakfast, Greg approached me saying, “Come with me, we have to go and prepare the honeymoon bed.” Almost choking on my soup, I said, “what?” Yes, it is not a typo and I am not kidding, we were asked to prepare the bed. I bet you can imagine what was going through my head. Of all the people at the wedding, how did we get chosen for this activity and what did this activity entail. Well, apparently it is good luck to have a happily married couple, with longevity, bless the marriage bed. So, Greg and I are now available if you want us to come and bless your beds.

We went into the honeymoon suite to find the white bed decorated with red rose pedals, 2 red pillows and 2 towels shaped like swans. In the room were the parents of both bride and groom, the photographer, and a few others. Normally, we would have decorated the bed; however, that was already taken care of. We were asked to lay down in the bed in a cuddling type style and pretend we were sleeping. Then we were to wake up and say what beautiful dreams we experienced while lying in the bed. As you know, Greg loves words so he could make anything sound good. We said that those who awake in this bed will experience good health, wealth, prosperity, many children and lives of loves… At this point we got out of the bed and the bride and groom exchanged places with us. They had to repeat what we just did. It was with this activity that the morning ceremony concluded.

Now for the lunch festivities. We walked back up to the lobby area where the open reception hall was decorated for the reception. The entrance way reminded me of American weddings. We signed the guest book, received the couple’s gift which was a coffee mug and looked at pictures and items that represented each of them. They had an area for pictures and music played in the background. The bridal party changed their attire and now the bride was in a traditional white wedding dress and Josh was in a blue suit with a gold tie. The ceremony began with 2 Lanna style dances. Then Linnapat’s best friend spoke about her relationship with Linnpat and Josh and how she wishes them the best. The village leader provided a blessing as well as Josh’s mother followed by a toast. Lunch was served while music and Thai dancing occurred in the background.

The ceremony ended with Linnapat and Josh cutting the cake. They both held on to, what looked like a long sword, and “air” cut the 3-tiered cupcake stand three times. Then the couple presented a cupcake to each of their parents, Pi Jip, and Greg and I. Shortly after this we headed back to our room to change clothes and to get on the road for Chiang Mai. Before leaving Nan, we made a stop at a souvenir store where I bought a Thai skirt and top with the Nan pattern on it. Our first stop was at Phrae. We dropped Maew off at her parents’ house and then we had coffee/tea and cheese cake for dessert. Our second stop was in Lampang where we had chicken noodle soup for dinner. We arrived back on campus around 9 pm. I was eager to hear about the students’ weekend adventure with their Thai buddies. From all the stories, I believe the weekend was a huge success. The students enjoyed their Thai cooking class, beautiful souvenirs from the umbrella factory & market, and the elephant camp. Tonight, they had pizza and played volleyball with their buddies. Everyone was eager to hear about the wedding after seeing some of the pictures on Facebook.

Great weekend, filled with a lot of laughter and love. I should be tired but I think the iced mocha coffee that I had at 5 pm is keeping me awake tonight. It is 2 am and I have to get up around 6:30 am so I should probably call it a night. Fun dee (sweet dreams)

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