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Published: January 8th 2018
Today is our travel day to Chiang Mai, Thailand. I’m going to be honest, I’ve been panicking a little bit. It’s been an emotional overload processing going abroad once again. I haven’t left the country since the fall of 2015 during which I studied abroad in Rwanda, Africa. My experience was rough to say the least, but if I can manage to make it a few days without food (and no money to obtain food) as well as deliver stillborn babies day after day, then I can do just about anything. I am worried about compassion fatigue as well as an overload of unmanageable emotions. It has taken me a fairly long time to adjust and feel safe in my surroundings.
In addition, I can sense myself getting more and more easily annoyed by first time or over anxious travelers. I know that I need to look inside myself for the triggers I have. Why am I so easily negative about these responses when I am usually laid back and open. I have always been the one to tell others that coming back to the states after living in East Africa was not frustrating. How can I expect people to know something they have never experienced? I have decided to continually remind myself of all the travels I have been blessed to be apart of and how it has opened my eyes to the world. If I did not have these opportunities I would be ignorant to much and I still have a lot more to learn from others. I am continually reminded of Psalm 27:11 as I enter this new journey in my life:
The Lord is my light and my salvation —
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life —
Of whom shall i be afraid?
Why should I be afraid when the Lord is with me? Though I am hot and sweaty on this 20+ hour plane ride, I still have hope that this trip will change my experience with international travel. As much as I am filled with anxiety, I am also excited to jump back in the saddle and let the Lord renew my heart’s desire to travel and meet His children around the world.
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