Christmas Eve in Pathum Thani

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Geo: 14.0167, 100.533

It is Christmas Day. I love Christmas! I love Christmas Eve best of all, since anticipation is usually even more exciting than the actual event, whatever that event is. I am not Christian, but I do believe that Jesus was one of the great spiritual leaders born into this world, and I believe in something over and above us, some energy, some something, and hope that there will be a great meeting of souls after this life; agnostic would probably be the best way to define my beliefs. But I do love Christmas, for so many reasons: for the story of the baby Jesus, for all the excitement of preparation and gift giving, for the lights and decorations, for the wonderful smell of live Christmas trees, for the early darkness of the days when family gathers close, for the spirit of love, hope, joy, and even peace that this season can bring, even for the world-wide stories of that great, many named gift-giver, Santa Claus.

This is the first Christmas in my life with my not being surrounded by family, and I don't want to celebrate Christmas this way again. It is much better with family! I went looking for Christmas here in Pathum Thani, and, against my expectations, I didn't find it where I thought it would be, but found it where I was not looking. Yesterday, Christmas Eve, my favorite day in the whole year, I looked on the internet for a church in Pathum Thani. There are many Christian churches in Bangkok, but making that trek into loud, noisy, congested Bangkok was not something I wanted to do on Christmas. (I actually don't want to do it any day.) There was one church listed here, so I went to the police station to ask for directions. They kindly looked at the address I had written down, but were confused by the word "church." I tried to explain, "It is like a temple. A wat. Christian." No understanding of what I said. So I tried again, "Tomorrow is Christmas. Church. Temple. Wat." Holding my hands in a prayer position did not help either, as that is how Thais greet each other, in a wai, prayer position hands and a bending of the head. Finally one of the men understood what I wanted. "Christian?" he asked. "Ka." I said, yes. So he took the paper with the church's address and walked around asking if anyone knew where this church was. Yes, one police officer did; he was kind enough to draw me a map. So I had some of the information I needed; I just didn't know how far away it was.

Later on in the day, still Christmas Eve, I took another walk, this time past a friendly store that sells beautiful Thai supplies for each home's private temple. I like this shop, and the woman who sells me little surprises for my family speaks fair English, plus she is interested in knowing that I am a teacher, but without a job. So I think we both enjoy conversing a bit, in both Thai and English when I visit. I showed her my map yesterday, and she also knew the church, but was able to add details, like how far it was from Tesco (huge point of interest to everyone here!), and that, yes, I could walk to it, only two kilometers from the shop. I also asked her if she knew where I could get photocopies of my passport, needed for my upcoming travels to VietNam and Cambodia with my youngest daughter, Laila. It took awhile to describe "photocopies," but she finally understood, and said that she could make them for me, yes. How kind! So that was my first Christmas present. I told her "Merry Christmas," and she said "Merry Christmas" to me too. She knew about Christmas, so it was not just empty words repeated back. We both smiled at each other, and wai-ed each other, and then I left. It was about 5PM, so I had a little over an hour before dark.

I decided why not try to find the church this evening; it was Christmas Eve, I always loved being out walking at twilight on Christmas Eve, plus I needed to know what time services would be held. So I started out toward Tesco. Almost immediately I saw a young Chinese woman I had met in November (at the school where I thought I would teach); she seemed very happy to see me, and I was happy to see her again too. We chatted a bit, and then she asked, "It is Christmas?" And I said yes, it was Christmas, and then she wished me a very sincere "Merry Christmas" too! My second unexpected Christmas gift.

As I walked I remembered taking a similar but different walk with my son, Jason, when he was probably three years old one Christmas Eve. I was pushing him in his stroller, and we were headed to Moody Street in Waltham, Mass, the next town over from where we lived. We were looking for one more perfect gift for his father. I remember pushing the stroller carrying this precious little boy as we walked in the twilight down Moody Street on Christmas Eve, and thinking how very lucky I was! We saw the first star, and both made wishes on it. What perfect happiness, having this beautiful young child, and it being Christmas Eve. Life could not have been better. That is what I remembered as I walked down another street searching for Christmas this year.

I walked for miles, but could not find the church. I stopped to ask several people if they knew of it, especially when I thought it must be nearby. No, no one had heard of it; no one knew where it was, but most Thais are Buddhist, so they would have no need of a church. So I continued on; the sun still had not set, so I had time before it was dark. I am not afraid of walking in the dark; it is just that the sidewalks here are so uneven, so broken up, bricks are missing, sandbags are scattered everywhere, trash is still strewn around from the flooding, so it is hard to walk without enough light to see where to step. But I had some time. Finally, after going too far, I turned around, dejected. All I wanted was some community on Christmas! And Christmas music, and the nativity scene. And then I saw a sign: St. Mark's and an arrow pointing to the left. So I continued, looking now for a small street off to the left. I finally found it as the sun was setting. I was so glad! And then as I looked through the locked gates, trash piled up on all sides, I realized that St. Mark's still had not reopened yet after the devastation of the floods. There would be no church this Christmas.

On the long, sad walk back to my room I sang all the Christmas carols I could remember, some to myself, some out loud. It was a beautiful night, and it was Christmas Eve; I could sing a few carols! This was actually a game I played with my children when we were riding in the car during many Decembers: each person would have to begin singing a Christmas carol, not repeating one that had already been sung; then the whole family would join in. This singing game could last a very long time, at least until we got tired of singing. I was usually the last one to quit.

Back in my room Ariel (another daughter) and Bill (my husband) called to wish me a merry Christmas, so the evening turned out okay, just not as I had hoped. And I had received two unexpected Christmas presents, both from Thai women, who had not realized what they had given me. I guess I am still lucky. The night closed in, it was time for bed. I sang more Christmas carols to myself until I fell asleep.

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