Russians, tits and snorkels


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Asia » Thailand » Central Thailand » Ko Wai
October 21st 2012
Published: October 22nd 2012
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Back to the pier before darkBack to the pier before darkBack to the pier before dark

Fantastic sunset to greet us when we arrived back at BangBao pier
Someone, somewhere tempted fate and made me take a full day trip visiting 4beautiful islands; what they didn't realise though was that I have never held a snorkelling thingy,let alused one.

The outing started normally, being picked up from the little lodge I am staying at by the taxi (pick up truck with seats, if you are lucky, clawing onto the outside if you are not). Thankfully, I was one of the lucky few and took my seat, legs dangling from the back of the truck.

The roads are hilly, they make Yorkshire look like a flood plain and any attempt to losen the grip from the life saving grab rail in the pickup truck would render a human body to nothing more than dog food, all over the road, fresh dog food... So, I made sure I held on. I love dogs, but not that much.

When I stepped into this death trap I realised not all my fellow travellers had much to smile about. There were the customary 18 year old Americans, explaining how they paid $1kkkkkk to find themselves (maps normally help!), the crazy Austrian in the next room to me, his girlfriend and his
Slippy gangplanksSlippy gangplanksSlippy gangplanks

Not the easiest way to get on a boat; I hoped I wouldn't be the first to fall in the sea... Thankfully I wasn't
father. Then there was the Russian family!

After half an hour the driver stopped, kicked us all out. All but the Russian family were smiling, rushing to the pier and not taking notice of where our driver told its to meet him 10 hours later because we we would all forget) but the Russian guy, he took a photo of the driver, the taxi, the bit of road it was parked on and then drew an almost to scale map of the route to the pier (Which was straight, long and filled with shops so probably impossible to get lost!)

Boarding the boat would have all the health and safety guys needing nappies, but alighting later was funnier! the first hour of the trip was spent happily bobbing along, passing uninhabited islands but then, a crew member, starting handing out snorkel masks and he funny bit that goes with it, whilst shouting "you got 45 minute after that you stay and dies, the fishes, they eat you". And my premonition of being dinner for everyone stirred!

The time came, with just my cossie, a mask and snorkel, my time had come. Having never done anything like this
Idyllic islandIdyllic islandIdyllic island

One of the snorkelling stop offs
before I had choices to make.... Do I? Or don't I?

I did!

And jumped in.

After the first 2 stomachs worth of salt water I realised how to use the snorkel; I peered down and saw the beautiful coral reef, the fish - blue and yellow fish,black and white striped fish, so close it was amazing.

i also realised that those unfortunate enough to be snorkelling behind me may have thought they had spotted the elusive blue and white large bottomed whale.

It's has to be in my top ten amazing things I have dome - I just wished it didn't have to best bloody painful. I think I may write a book, travellinG with RSD/CRPS.

The Austrians were playing at naughty grown ups, the Americans were still trying ti discover who they were and the Japanese took all the photographs, meanwhile the Russian father was plotting out whitch bit of reef the family needed to study next.

there were stops at 3 different coral reefs for swimming and snorkelling; I gave it a miss for the last 2, because when you have RSD and something says no, you don't tend to
The way to the pierThe way to the pierThe way to the pier

The crewman said to leave the boat, onto the pier, where we could buy beer or ice cream... The only problem was that to get to the pier we had to go over and through 2 other boats!
repeat it!

So, now we come to the word in the title that hasn't yet been mentioned.

My seating position on the boat was behind the Russian family; Mr Russian and little girl had both jumped back for more of his snorkeling grid to be crossed off and that meant leaving Mrs Russian partaking in the same pastime as me - sprawling out, enjoying the gentle rock of the boat, the sun... And reading.

My book was easy enough, on my kindle (which is fantastic when travelling) and Mrs Russian was reading on the Russian type which sait in the top "HTP SHITER". After 15 minutes she smiled, tapped my toes (??) and said "what does judicial mean?" ... She was reading an English book, so I explained, and went back to my own reading.

5 minutes later my toes were tapped again and it was another translation needed.

Tit.

Please.

Being the very polite person I am, explained it was another word for breasts.

Ms Russian was not happy. She was upset and said now she did not like this author any more... I took the SHITER from her, saw it
Where is our boat?Where is our boat?Where is our boat?

Looking from the pier; the boat I was on is the third along - meaning I had to stumble and jiggle over 2 others to get on to dry land! There were wobbly gaps and lots of sea so am proud that I did NOT fall in!
was Terry Pratchet, read the paragraph and told her very politely it meant a fool (wa***r, in tyke!).

Today is the first day of my life that I have made a Russian HAPPY!

There was food, food and more food on board. Those who know me well will know I did not eat any of it apart from some melon.

When we stopped at the fourth and final island there were boats in between us and dry land.

The crewman said to leave the boat, onto the pier, where we could buy beer or ice cream... The only problem was that to get to the pier we had to go over and through these 2 other boats!

I hope no-one videod me! Clambering on to the side of the boat and worryingly jumped to the next, the photos don't do it justice! The reward as I e cream and beer on the seafront with the crazy Austrians from the room next to me; perfect.

It was a truly amazing day; I didn't want it to end.

I made a choice a while ago to do things I would normally say no to (partly for fear of the pain of RSD/CRPS) - snorkelling was one of these things. So, please excuse me while I give myself a little pat on the back.

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22nd October 2012

you are AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
22nd October 2012

Hilarious, courageous and painful!
Ouch! In fact OUUUUUUUUCH! But we'll done you! That was SO funny, even though I was wincing at the pain even before you mentioned it! But you're so brave, and I ache! Lol

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