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Chapter 8:
In which the author and his redneck trucker buddy, Beergut, find themselves in yet another strange land full of all new foreign markings, customs, hard to pronounce words, sights, and gastrointestinal treats. The latter of which, possessing the capability to not only scald you on the way in, but in the other direction as well. Being faced with all these new challenges, the author finds himself strangely reminiscing about the smallest country (aside from Singapore, which is really just one big air-conditioned mall island) in South East Asia… the exact one he just left. He will now, with the help of his newly handlebared attorney, make an attempt, feeble as it may be, to sum up what he has observed to be true, during his time spent in the land of the smiling Khmer.
* This list is by no means comprehensive and should not be viewed as such. The author does not claim to have any expertise in this area, as he only spent one month in Cambodia. So if you are looking for something a little more serious, please feel free to look at any one of the other thousands of blog entries
on Cambodia. This list merely represents the extent in which the author’s attention span will allow him to list ideas in topics, sub-topics, categories, overarching themes, and whatnot. Muchos and Mahalo*
On Traffic Laws-
1. Traffic signs, road markings, and general common sense when around speeding vehicles, are at best suggestions.
2. While the flow of traffic is generally on the right hand side of the road, it is not uncommon to find yourself dodging oncoming traffic, traveling in the wrong direction.
3. As traffic lights and stop signs are mere suggestions, the best way to enter intersections is to force your way through. Power in numbers is also a common tactic. Whatever method is used, it seems very important never to look.
4. Right of way is usually determined by the size of the vehicles involved.
5. Life on Khmer roads is far more audio than visual. *see observation #3*
a. Example- Instead of looking to see if you may be cutting another driver off, drivers will simply use their horn to let the opposing driver know that they are about to be cut off and should react accordingly.
b. While the horn is used in
all applications of driving, it is mainly used as a warning to all other drivers and pedestrians who, according to observation #3, will most definitely not be looking.
c. As a rule, my attorney has pointed out that Khmer drivers will use their horns far sooner than they will use their brakes.
On Transportation-
1. Absolutely anything that can be propelled through space will be seriously considered for mass public transportation.
2. While placing humans and other such detritus on top of, on the sides of, on the back of, and even in front of a moving vehicle may be considered in bad taste and possibly illegal in most western countries, it is in Cambodia however, looked at as simple the best way to get around while maximizing the driver’s profits and minimizing customer comfort. * Please see the current business model for most U.S. airlines*
3. The critical components of a Toyota Tacoma work surprisingly well for boat propulsion and are thus, used regularly for travel on the Mighty Mekong and Tonle Sap rivers.
On Foods-
1. One can eat all the “traditional Khmer dishes” on any menu, but you will never experience the sheer girth
of Khmer culinary subtlety, without trying any of the following: Pig intestine, pig snout, boiled chicken feet (rest of the chicken is curiously absent) fried crickets, cockroaches, spider, beetles, or snakes. Until such time occurs, you will just be another poor falong.
*me being a psudo- veg, I am one of the worst kinds of Falong*
On Language and Meanings-
1. Khmer, like many other S.E. Asian languages, is full of subtle sounds and intonations that crackers like my attorney and myself, find difficult to produce.
2. Learning and using a handful of basic words and phrases, while not guaranteeing that you will be understood, will undoubtedly create smiles and uncontrollable giggling in the locals.
3. Here is a short list of Khmer words that we learned and found useful to use. All words are spelled in Roman characters (for ease of reading) and spelled incorrectly. They are spelled how my ears heard them, sorry.
a. Sua Sad’di- Hello Add the word Arun to the front to say good morning. Add Reatri to the front to say goodnight
b. Sucksubi Cheeate- Hows it going
c. Akoon- Thank you. Add the words Cheran or tomtom to mean
thank you very much/ big big
d. Leigh hi- goodbye
e. Som get loy- Please get my bill
f. Bong- Friend
4. As anybody who has been to the more touristy parts of Cambodia can tell you, the word tuk-tuk driver, is almost certainly translated to drug dealer in English. Stay away from them kids! Drugs are bad for your body and will rot your teeth out.
Well, there has to be more, but this list represents exactly the amount of time that I have patients for sitting on a computer. Reatri sua sad’di. Enjoy some pics.
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