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Published: June 10th 2010
Caption competition
"I'm a ninja turtle"
"Nah, piss off! I'm a ninja turtle"So, I’ve just spent 5 weeks volunteering at a turtle conservation project…
Top turtle info
5 types of turtles in Sri Lanka, 6 in the world, but only 3 types at the sanctuary:
1. Green - so called because their fat makes a green turtle soup (Boooooo!)
2. Olive Ridley - er, because they love olives and riddles
3. Hawksbill - due to the resemblance of their beak to the birds. These are on the verge of extinction as their shell is sought after by those pesky humans to decorate their mantelpieces.
So whadda do we do?
- buy eggs from fisherman (6 pence each) so they aren’t sold in markets as food
- bury the eggs 50cms in the hatchery sand
- dig up the babies after 50-60 days. Anything from 0-80%!h(MISSING)atch.
- release 90%!t(MISSING)hat night undercover of darkness and away from predators
- release the remainder over a period of 4 years
Other work
- act as guides for visitors including locals and tourists
- try to stop local school kids stealing the babies and / or torturing them
- weekly tank cleaning and replenishment
"I'm easy like Sunday mooooooorrrrrrnnnnniiiinnnnnggggg"
The turtle equivalent of your old man having a kip on le sofa of the sea water whilst battling rip currents , waves, plastic bags, shoes...
- daily feeding of tuna (Dolphin friendly)
- coconut tree climbing lessons (reached the dizzy height of 1.5m)
- digging and replenishing the sand in the egg hatcheries
- beach and sanctuary cleaning
- teaching local kids English in the local community centre or Buddhist temple
- undertake tasting sessions of the local beverages
- catch crabs (via the method of playing crab sand boules] to feed to the turtles
- tickling their necks and scratching their shells so they do the ‘turtle dance’
- round the clock watch so ensure Shredder doesn’t mount a nightime attack
- mixed martial art training including the use of weapons such as nunchukas and staff
Random stats If the average sand temperature is >29C then the turtles will be female
A female will lay 50-160 eggs on up to 8 occasions every 2 years
Green turtles reach 1.5m in length and 200kgs in weight (that’s a lot of soup!)
One in a million will be albino
It takes 12 years to become a fully fledged ninja
Only 1 in 1,000 turtles is believed to reach maturity
Interspecies Olympic games: Sea Turtles (Ceylon) vs Christophinoz (Wales)
Short course swimming: Gold for le turtles
Long course swimming: Turltes win gold, silver and bronze (is underwater flying cheating?)
Shot putt: Gold for Christophinoz
Martial arts: Gold for Junior Mafia turtle (a master of the dark arts of the Sith). ‘The Crane’ manoeuvre was did not work for the Welshman
Basketball: Gold for le turtles. They can dunk like Le Bron and whitemen can’t!
Being a smelly tramp: Clean sweep of all medals by Christophinoz 😊
Top tunes of the month ‘Word gets around’. Le ‘phonics 1st album in memory of Stuart Cable.
Tunes the turtles love Anything by The xx, The Cribs, Mumford & Sons.
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