Just Another Soju Night

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Soju Night Promises to be Legendary

So, after my wonderfully crazy experience with boshin tang (dog stew for those who don't remember) it was off to continue the evening with our newly invigorated "stamina". (side note: dog is said to be "good for stamina" as are MANY other Korean dishes. What is meant by this is that it's an aphrodisiac. In reality, however, it just really is good for "stamina".) It was off to a soju "bang" or cafe/bar/room (it's all about context in this country). Soju is the Korean equivalent to sake or vodka, but without as much bite. This does not mean, however, that it isn't as strong. It is quite the opposite. Becuase it doesn't taste nearly as bad it means that people end up drinking more and not realizing the effects until much later once it starts to kick in.

We were in Samsan (as you might remember) for our dog restaurant and someone remembered that there was a great soju bar close by so we decided to hit it up. This place was freaking out of this world. No one remembered to bring a camera, but I'll go back again and try to get some pictures. The floor was an aquarium. I kid you not. You take off your shoes, like at most places in Asia, and climb on top of many coy fish. It's impressive. Even the skinniest person in the group was worried about being too heavy to sit down, but it all worked out. It was really awesome.

After we got over our intial fear of getting wet (which ended up being a continual group concern) we pushed the call button and the wait staff came over. Once the anju (food that comes with every drink whether you want it or not) was distributed and after much conversation of "How do you say strawberry in Korean?" "What about kiwi?" (the two flavors of soju we were ordering) we placed our order with little misunderstanding, at least we thought. "Kiwi" is the same in Korean and English with a slight inflection difference. What we said for "strawberry", however, ended up being thought of as "peach". Not a horrible tragedy as it turned out to be quite good, but not what we thought we ordered. Oh, the joys of being "lost in translation".

These drinks that we ordered were not straight up soju. They were mixed with other flavors (like kiwi and peach) much like a margarita. This is one of the prefered ways to drink soju. Even though soju doesn't taste bad it never hurts to make it taste better. They came out in two juice sized pitchers, but we weren't happy with the "lack of flavor" of the soju and decided to order two more bottles to mix into the drinks. It was like taking a sex on the beach and saying there wasn't enough liquor in it and adding more. The ironic thing is that once it was added we still couldn't taste it, but realizing that this was just one of many more stops at drinking establishments throughout the night we sucked it up and were content.

About an hour later of "pour it Korean style, you fool!" and learning all the crazy traditional ways of being a Western Korean person we moved on. Literally across the street was a HUGE banner stating that there was a sale on Coors Light (sorry Baby no Bud here) at this new-ish bar (all stores in Korea are new-ish b/c not many things last more than a couple years, if it's lucky). Apparently, it's very difficult to find American beers at bars in Korea and another guy, Chad (ironically from Texas as well), flipped his shit and wanted to go. A couple of bottles of Coors and some anju later we moved on to the "W Bar" in Samsan.

The "W Bar" in Samsan is owned by the same guy as the one in Shinae (the usual bar on Thursday nights). He goes by the name of Grim, but is so far from what the name implies it's really funny. He is about 5'6" and a buck 20 (if he's lucky) with stylish clothes and a molestash (molester's mustash). The molestash truly detracts from the rest of his style, but they seem to be really popular in Korea as many stylsh guys have them. I think it is the only kind of mustash they can grow though b/c they don't have much hair anywhere. I wouldn't be too surprised.

The Samsan "W Bar" is much bigger than the Shinae one and is populated by many more Koreans than Westerners. It's a great way to try out recently learned Korean and live a more upscale city lifestyle. It definitely doesn't suck by any means and we go there every now and then, but I prefer the Shinae one.

While we were hanging out at the "W Bar" I think the funniest and most tragic drinking scene was viewed. It was about 2:30 or maybe 3:00 and it was raining (coming off the typhoon season). There was a very drunk Korean guy about 25-27 (although I'm REALLY bad with Korean's ages) stumbling in the street behind us. We were sitting on a covered patio and had primo viewing abilities. I was the first to see him because I was facing the direction that he was coming. He was having severe difficulities with his umbrella, but finally got it opened. This was, of course, after he was sufficiently drenched from the rain. He stumbled with his accomplishment looking like a million bucks. He must have been a little exhausted after his feat because he decided that he should lean against an SUV to take a rest. (At this point I'll remind you that it's raining like a mo' fo and EVERYTHING, including the street is slick.) The moment he touched the off-white paint, I'm not even exaggerating here, he slid off the car in a perfect pirouette and landed, face first, in the Red Sea that had formed on the road. At this I busted out laughing and everyone turned around to see what I had just seen. He slowly regained control and started to get into a squat (much like that of a baseball catcher. This is the prefered way of a man resting on the street by Koreans). When he was finally stable he realized that the fall had caused serious damage to his umbrella. So much so that it looked as if a typhoon with winds the speed of 50mph had hit only the umbrella. He fidled with it for a while and finally got it back to a suitable state. At this point he realized we were watching (much to the help of Min, a Korean co-worker, applauding his recent success) and, as quickly as he could, got upright and continued on his merry way. Many people thought that this would be the end of his adventure as he was headed toward the main road and, hopefully, on to a taxi.

Min and I knew that there was more enjoyment to be had. He was, as they guessed correctly, headed toward a taxi, but he didn't directly get there. Before he had reached the street he decided that he would give his viewers one more death defying stunt. As on many of the streets, back streets, alleyways, and sidewalks in Korea there were cars everywhere. Up till now, however, he hadn't had to maneuver around any moving ones, but one came at the last moment. He reached the main road and was being honked at by a car behind him as he was blocking the middle of the road. So, instead of stopping and moving to the sidewalk 3 m from him he decided to move forward and allow the car to go around him that way. This was at the exact moment that a taxi was flying (as they are ALWAYS speeding) down the road he was using as safe passage. The moment the taxi crossed his exact position he fell to the ground (as if he had been hit) in front of the car behind him and both sets of brakes came to a screeching halt. As if he had jumped on a bouncying castle he was back up in a split second and walked to the sidewalk. I swear to you it looked as if this man had had his last soju night. Then, as if it were out of a movie, the taxi left and not even a second later another taxi had stopped to pick the man up and take him home.

There was a collective cheer as the man got into the taxi and as it was driving away the top of the window was rolled down and a lone hand stuck out the window waving goodbye. This unnamed man was the celebrity of the evening and on his way home to sleep off his wonder medicine that made him so popular for a matter of minutes. In Korea, this would be a great commercial with immediate gain in profits for any alcohol company, but to us, it was just another soju night.

Around 4:30 we collectively decided that it was time to head to some taxis ourselves and stumble our own ways home. It turned out to be a great evening filled with surprises at every corner. I can't wait for the next one.

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