Gyeongbokgung Palace- Lost in Korean Translation

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I start this entry, for all intents and purposes, behind in the count due to the lashing I received from Mt. Birobong last weekend. Korea 1… Jon 0. Here is where we begin this weekend’s little shenanigan, beginning Friday after school and ending Sunday in Seoul at a magnificent palace dating back over seven hundred years.

I received another teacher’s dinner invitation after school Friday, and of course, I accepted. Soju sounded rather good at the time, even despite it’s rankness. So I went home to drop off my school stuff and picked up Cass. We went downtown, just off the main street, to one of those ‘grill at your table’ Korean BBQ’s, which I have really warmed up to. The rest of the teachers showed up, English Mr. Kim- Science Mr. Kim- Superman Mr. Kim- Mr. Go who I call Chan Ho Park because he looks identical- Rockstar Mr. Kim- Boxer Mr. Kim and his friend- and Mr. Lee, (did you catch the pattern there?) and we ordered a combination of beef and pork, with all the customary Korean side dishes… and beverages.

It must have been after the fourth or eighth bottle of soju (they are served in 12 oz. bottles, and cardboard sippy box, elementary lunch style) that we were served an interesting platter. Now, before I get into the nitty gritty of this, I want you all to imagine a brownie, topped with chocolate ice cream, topped with chocolate syrup, topped with chocolate sprinkles. Yummy, but a chocolate overload. Now try to come up with the complete opposite of that. Just take a guess. Got one? Now let me explain. This is something I will probably never again see in my life. On the platter were spears of pear, and spears of raw beef. Not only was it raw, it was topped with a raw egg broken on top. The way you eat this is to mix it all up, and down the hatch. Yummy, but an E.Coli overload. Keep this particular dish in mind, I have a feeling it will show up later in this writing.

We finished up at the BBQ, all great except for you know what, and headed to the Karaoke Bar, or in Korean, No Rae Bong (Music Room). We all were well into the soju by then and No Rae Bonging was just what the doctor ordered. Although… in true Korean entertainment style, we made a slight detour. It turns out, there was a batting cage on our walk to the No Rae Bong, and it was far too alluring to pass by. I couldn’t tell you the last time I was at a batting cage, but, doggonit, it was a hoot! Looking through my goggles, I swung at the middle ball and did myself proud. Cass, stepped right up, and showed her switch hitting ability taking some fine right handed cuts even Chan Ho Park himself wouldn’t want to see at the plate. Once in the Karaoke Bar, my failed attempt at Beyonce’s Bootylicious was followed by a rousing rendition of Extreme, dancing, and some mean tambourine playing.

Korea 1… Jon 1

After singing our hearts out, the group decided on Ray-mee-on noodles, translation, Ramen, which hit the spot and everything within a three foot radius as the slurping was nearly uncontrollable.

Cass and I then met up with some of the other native English speakers that we met at one of those ‘open’ classes earlier in the week. There are literally zillions of shops in every nook and cranny of every building, some of which we are just finding, but most of which I’m sure we’ll never see. This place had a simple door next to a convenience store downtown that led down some stairs; you would never know what was down there, but it opened into a very nice, relaxed atmosphere where we visited for quite some time. It was a good finish to another crazy night. I still can’t get over the batting cages.

. It could have possibly been the gallon of soju I consumed the previous night, but I blame my new favorite dinner dish, salmonella poisoning. Regardless where I place the blame, I was out of commission for the entire day, literally, I didn’t really leave the bed until around dinner. Korea 2… Jon 1.

In the meantime, Cass upped her score and went to a flee market, a.k.a. garage sale, with Mrs. Moon and Eun Hee from her school. They took her down the narrowest street imaginable to get to this back alley church, where she picked up some much needed dishes for home, which the ladies wouldn’t let her pay for. Then they went down to the Riverside Park and explored the sights and colors down there. They went on a tour boat, packed with a reception of some kind that had, you guessed it, much alcohol and, you guessed it again, much singing (not of the sober variety). She got back later, just in time to accompany me to dinner, making sure I was in condition.

We woke up early the next morning because we wanted to go see one of the grandest palaces in all of South Korea. It didn’t disappoint. Sit back and relax while I drop some history on you… Gyeongbokgung was the main royal palace for the Joseon Dynasty which was originally built in 1395, yes, 1395- one hundred years before Columbus even thought of crossing the pond, and had thirty three original buildings before a Japanese invasion destroyed them all. It was ruined for three hundred years, yes, 300, longer than our little speck of U.S. has even existed, before they rebuilt it.

As we walked up to the front gate of the palace, we were scared out of our wits, as the huge drum was hit signaling the beginning of the ‘changing of the guards.’ I’ve never seen anything like this, so it was an experience to just see the formality and pageantry and tradition of it all. Everything had symbolism and reason. There was a small band with traditional instruments, all in traditional costumes and (glued on) beards, flags, and weapons. I was excited to get in there.

It was absolutely mind blowing, every little detail of the walls, hundreds of feet of walls, had to be hand painted. Seeing a temple where the Empress Myeongseog was assassinated in 1895, different king’s living quarters, the details carved into statues and pictures carved into things like the vents of the underground heating systems was incredible. They had an entertaining building that was built in the middle of a lake, now the water level is much lower, but at the time the building looked as if it were floating in the lake because the level of water was even with the first floor. All of this was set against beautiful autumn colors with two magnificent peaks in the distance. It was so easy to envision a Japanese ninja slinking over the rooftops, or the peasants on their knees bowing to the Emperor in his thrown, the workers laying the thousands of boulders evenly in the ground to create the palace floor, or the artisans spending countless hours carving intricate designs and pictures all around the palace. It is things like these experiences that are, in reality, impossible to experience in the U.S., that make it even more special.

Afterwards, we walked down to a shopping district that was close by, Insadong, to see it. It was much more traditional than others in Seoul, women making rice cake in the streets, performers and musicians in traditional costumes, and one very special sales lady that will always remain in my heart.

We went into a souvenir department store, is what I could best describe it as, and wandered around. I went into a little part that had some t-shirts for sale. That was my largest mistake. Literally vaporizing out of nowhere, behind me, was this lady, already with shirt in hand… “You put this on. American sizes you find nowhere. You put on.” As this lady started accosting me in the corner of the shirt aisle, I knew there was no escape route possible; the whole thing just struck me as funny. I tried to say ‘no, no’ and give the international signal for no (two crossed arms) but I was laughing at the approaching shirt, with a South Korea flag on it, that I just rolled with the whole situation, and that encouraged her even the more. “This look bery good, I put flag information in bag for you.” Before I even got one complete word out, this shirt was already tried on, bagged with a pamphlet about flag symbolism. I was hoping Cass was hiding behind a rack somewhere watching this whole debacle go on, but she wasn’t lucky enough. I finally, squashed my laughter enough to squeak out a question about price, “It good price, American sizes no where.” Just like that, for 20,000 won (about twenty bucks) I got me a one hundred percent, made in Korea, t-shirt with the national flag on the front. And here’s the kicker, on the back was the Korean writing for, none other than … “Korea.”

Korea 3… Jon 1.

So that was a Halloween weekend in Korea for you. I hope everyone gets out to vote today, or it will be your tomorrow. Being on the outside looking in at the U.S. is an interesting perspective. One that makes me want to encourage you all to partake in what makes our country unique. No matter what your position, we are at a crucial time in our country where the country and people can flower or flounder and, like it or not, as America goes, the world goes. So that’s my encouragement to get out and vote, there are many places (some literally quite close to me over here… ahem north of here) where people don’t have that kind of freedom and voice. So take advantage of it!


Okay... Here are some David Letterman-esqe Top Ten List of wacked out English translations from Korean that kind of make your head turn to the side. Please remember... these are posted in public...

Crap Meat... nuff said

"Well Being Life" -Yeoju's town slogan (THE ENTIRE TOWN'S)

"Whatever a sun will always sing is you" -on a clock in a store

"We serve delicious sandwich with fresh seasonal vegetable which gives you full of life" -Paris Baguette bakery

"The important is what to do when the time that is given" -sticker on my new cruiser bike

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