Fun, Love, & Johnsons: The Korean Way

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Mission: Where is Fun?

We had a day to explore, and accomplishing our goal of the whole weekend on Saturday left us in search a destination. Gangneung, pronounced Kong-noon-g (sort of), wasn’t our destination, but it was a larger city on the east coast that was bound to offer something we’ve never done. Walking out of the bus terminal, we wandered the streets for five minutes in one direction, and armed with a tourist map, our friend, Jon G., said, ‘Maybe we should just ask someone, where is fun?’

That search led us to the back of a taxi. We pointed to a harbor on the map and started heading that way. Then, we noticed a sign saying it was over 20 kilometers away. Since we didn’t want to blow our entire last paycheck on a cab ride to a harbor, we ditched out of the highway and told the driver to go to the nearest beach, and what a jackpot we stumbled on.

The drizzle was letting up as we strolled on the boardwalk and noticed the neon lights of motels and restaurants in the distance. Once we got there, we were greeted by some of the best fish restaurants we could ever imagined. We shacked up with a coffee at the BuytheWay café for a while, and did the ‘let’s find a cheep Love Motel’ routine. Once all settled in, we set our ‘Itinerary of Fun’ that had to be fully accomplished before bed. 1) eat some kind of sea creature, 2) No rae bong, 3) go swimming in the ocean, 4) eat ice cream, 5) shoot off fireworks

We stayed spot-on our itinerary, not in that exact order, but we ticked off all the entries. First, we found a ‘grill at your table’ that was more a mystery than anything else, thank you language barrier, but after a lot of pointing at the grill/pictures/tanks full of sea animals, we figured…. ‘what the heck.’ Turned out, we were given just what we wanted, multiple plates of all varieties of clams- some looking like they were ocean bound only seconds before. After a quick lesson by the waitress, the four of us assumed our roles at the table; Cass manned the scissors, Shawna took control of the side dishes (it was a little too much for her- and understandably so, things were still on the verge of life), Jon G. attacked the situation with tongs, and I with chopsticks. Soju complemented the sauces and cuisine perfectly, and before we knew it, we were best friends with the all the tables around us. Good eats, a little intimidating, but good anyway you cut it, or shuck it. *Oh- just a side note, the night previous to this we all ate silkworms, yeah, the Fear Factor style silkworms… They weren’t terrible, but I just wanted to share that, it’s not everyday that you can say that.

What is better to do when you’re a few sheets to the wind on a beach in a foreign country? Light off fireworks... That’s your answer. So we headed over to the same café/ convenience store we were at earlier, to pick up a bit of ice cream and some fireworks to entertain ourselves when some of our friends from the restaurant stopped by. Jon G. had the brilliant idea of saying the one and only thing you don’t want to say to a Korean under the influence of soju, ‘Arigato.’ That bubbled up an age old Korean conflict with Japan and the guy made sure we knew about it. It was rather funny, though, his friends showed up and after apologizing, dragged him away while clinging to the railing of the deck shouting, ‘I know English. It’s because I know English.’ In true foreigner style, we all looked at each other quizzically and laughed it off.

In the process of lighting off the standard 20 shot roman candle, dwarfing anything I’ve seen back home, we struck up a conversation with a group of off duty Korean soldiers on leave from the DMZ. They were celebrating a birthday and wanted to go swimming with us. Jon G. in all his manly glory, got down to the boxers, the soldier still in all his clothes, and christened himself in the waters of this planet’s ocean- his first time. Afterwards, he gave us a stellar rendition of the SNL song, ‘step 1-you put your pants in a cup, step 2- you put the cup in a cup, step 3- don’t you open that cup.’ The shadiest of shady no rae bongs rounded out the evening on the beach.

Mission: Penis Park

Yes, it’s correct, not a typo… Penis park, and it is exactly as the name sounds. With all of Korea’s frustrations, it is great to know that you live in a country that has a park dedicated solely to the, ahem, ‘man parts.’ We learned of this quirky place a while ago from our guidebook, and thought that it should be on our list of places to go, strictly for the awkwardness of it all, and it didn’t let us down, either.

As the local legend goes… A virgin was killed in the waters just off the coast. She cursed the waters there and drove the fish away until one day, a fisherman ‘relieved himself’ in the direction of the ocean. Upon witnessing this, the girl lifted the curse and brought the fish back to their local waters ever since. So, the ‘family jewels’ have been the revered symbol for the ‘fertile’ waters of Korea that the fishermen have made their living from for eons. An interesting story, and an even more interesting, um,… well, you get the point, anyway you cut it, it was free reign for an onslaught of ‘johnson’ jokes coming at us from every angle!

The park had numerous, giant, and I would say some were quite artfully done, statues of ‘tinklers.’ It was awkward, to say the least, but if you can look past the twelve foot ‘ding a lings’ everywhere, you see people really just paying their respects to nature’s bounty- but in their own ‘special’ way. It was definitely an experience to remember, I’ll let you form your own opinions of this one…

Mission: A Korean Date

‘5…Huff… 6… Huff, huff…’
I can hear Cassie behind me as I grunt out the last set of shoulder presses at our gym, “hey, how are you doing?”
“Good, good,” a man’s voice answers.
“Oh, I want to ask you… do you have a girlfriend?” She asked.
“What the…” my weights hit the floor.
“Because there is a cute teacher at my school I want to introduce you to,” she finished.

I looked over my shoulder and saw her talking to our friend Kwang Hee, who we got to know at our gym. I smirked a little in Cass’ direction realizing she was trying to set up two people on a date from a different country, an entirely different culture, and who’s first language isn’t that of our own. As we all know, Cass’ mantra is often, ‘I love love.’ Contemplating if love truly knows no boundaries, and sat back to watch her do her thing amidst the crowded chaos that is the 시티 스포츠 센터 gym (literally= ‘city sports center’ but with a Korean accent, kinda like ‘see tee sa poch saint a’).

Fast forward a few days and some phone number exchanges later, and we were riding our bikes to Delimaman Italian restaurant in downtown Yeoju to meet our two Korean friends, Kwang Hee and Meeja. I’ve met Meeja only in passing, but feel I know her because she is beginning to tutor Cass in some key Korean phrases (things like- ‘stop punching that child’ ‘this food is delicious’ and ‘why is it so dang hot in Korea’ are the first ones that come to mind) and the stories she brings home. She is very good at English and was cool talking to her before Kwang Hee arrived. We learned that Kwang never formally studied English, but picked up a good amount of English through traveling and through movies/ music/ etc. Who said watching movies in class was pointless??

I thought there was a certain hilarity in the entire situation while Cass felt a little anxious because it was her idea. Apparently blind dates are fairly commonplace here and they didn’t think too much of it. I couldn’t get over the fact that two Koreans were being set up by Americans living in Korea, and were being forced (more or less) to speak English on their first date. It was all just awkwardly funny enough to be a good story.

It went well, Cass asked her obligatory thirteen thousand and one half questions while I ate an entire, paper thin, pizza and what remained of her pasta. It was never really the strange awkward silences that you would imagine a blind date having back home. We split off early for a beer and the finish of the S.Korea vs. Iran soccer match so that they could share some time doing what Koreans do in a situation like that (we really don’t know). All in all, it was fun, they were fun, and worse case scenario is that we had a good meal with our friends… but we’ll be sure to keep you updated on any follow up news that may involve our two chingus (friends)!

Mission: Marg

Since fun is the theme of this blog, it is only fitting to mention a wonderful person that the world lost recently. In college, Cass got involved in a program called ‘Befrienders,’ where she was paired up with an older person in the community. She arranged it so she was matched with the mother of a person from Whitehall. It’s a cool program where the two would go out for coffee or movies or shopping, etc. They’ve been in contact ever since they finished the program, Margaret sent cookies and letters when Cass was in Florida, you get the idea.

Friday morning Jenny (the same Jenny that is Denali’s stepmom this year) called Cass to tell her that, after 92 years, Margaret had died.

Just after we left, we learned Marg was in the hospital with heart problems. She called Marg and in her ever spunky tone said, ‘Cassie, they tell me my heart is only working 10%!,(MISSING) can you believe that?’

I had the pleasure to have met Margret a few times when we were in Bozeman. She was an amazing person, who lived in her own house, by herself until only recently. She had a great energy and aura about her that can only be truly conveyed to people who don’t know her, by her choosing the best burger joint in Bozeman for dinner the first time I met her. For some reason, she was a die hard Yankees fan, and dwarfed me with her knowledge of baseball. Seriously, we had a conversation about Joe Torre that blew my mind.

It reinforces my ideas that you can learn things about yourself, and lessons from everyone you meet. I hope that when I’m half her age I have the energy and grounded nature she had. It is sad that we will not get to share another burger with her in Bozeman, but, as I told Cass, we will see her again. We are the lucky ones whose paths got to cross this great lady’s. I truly hope that right now, she is playing catch with Joe DiMaggio, hitting home runs off Babe Ruth, or eating IHOP pancakes with her husband.

A friend of mine left a comment on my blog about Coach Rubick’s passing, saying ‘heaven just got a little bit stronger.’ I feel, and I know Cassie does as well, the same way about Margret. We will miss you!

Those of you interested can visit her obituary at… Marg's obit.

Mission: Spread some Korean Fun

Thanks to all of you that have been following and sharing the articles I’ve been getting published. It’s cool to have this increasing support for something you’re doing, rather than have so many people trying to tear you down. They are really fun to write, and exciting to get out there and get published. I would like to encourage anyone to spread the word, the link, put it on your facebook pages, anything- just try to get some support and following out there, ‘buzz’ is the word I’m looking for. I just want to quickly share the two latest I’ve gotten up.

**A Layman’s Guide to Dishes You Must Try
www.bootsnall.com
This article about the 5 most plentiful and delicious meals you’ll find in Korea or in any Korean restaurant back home. One of the things Cass and I relish in the most here is the food. Absolutely awesome stuff! This will give you a little more insight on what we are dining on everyday. Don’t worry, though, we’ll get some recipes and bring them back with us to share!

**South Korean Exploration: Roadtripping the Peninsula
www.matadortrips.com
This is the sweetest one week (ish) itinerary that I could put together. It’s a circumnavigation of the country hitting all its greatest spots. The glory of this place, and any I suppose, is that you could spend years here and not experience everything you want, or spin through it to get a flavor of everything it provides. It’s diverse, complex, conflicting, historic, chic… I could go on for days.

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