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Published: November 22nd 2008
Duck frenzy
Note the shot of duck bath water on the leftIt finally happened. It was an event more than 20 years in the making, but it happened. For those of you who know me, you will read this and fully understand the gravity of the matter and for those that don't, hopefully you'll at least find a little humor in the situation. Let me take you back to Wednesday, a 35 degree day that, was the day chosen for our teacher's outing at my school. I should mention that in Korea, it is very common for teachers to go out together a few times during the school year. Most often these involve a few hours of hiking followed by dinner (with soju) and then sometimes, a group trip to the norae bang for some singing and likely more soju. Many of the other native english teachers here have already been hiking with their schools and I was excited to get to bond with the teachers I hadn't really gotten to know yet. I also thought it would be a good chance to see some more Korean sights that I may not have discovered on my own. Well, as I said earlier, it was near freezing and so our mountain trip became
a trip to a park, which actually was more like a forest preserve than a city park. Actually that was pretty interesting, I got to take a few stalks of rice and run them through a device, which I pumped with my foot, that seperated the grains from the stem. I can only imagine what hard work it would be to have to do that all day; it seemed very time consuming! After the rice, we were all freezing cold, many of the other teachers were in boots with little heels and none of them had a serious coat on...I, on the other hand had 5 layers on, but we were all cold! So, standing in the parking lot we're all thinking that it's time to go to dinner when the leader of the group announces that we are going to drive to the other end of the park where we'd walk around for another 20 minutes to see a flower. We never actually saw it. So on the way to dinner I begin to get a bit nervous because they had informed me days earlier that we would be having duck for dinner. Again, for those who know me,
you know that ever since my early childhood duck trauma, I flat out refuse to eat Daffy!
As we pull into the parking lot of the restaurant in the middle of nowhere with the big duck face painted on it, I notice an ostrich roaming around in a pen...the other teachers told me it's because they eat the ostrich eggs which they say are delicious and good for your health. I should insert here the fact that if you ask a Korean about a food that you might find unusual coming from the West, they will almost always tell you that it's "very delicious and good for your health." I've heard this about everything from dog and still writhing octopus tentacles (yes they eat those here and no I haven't tried them yet...) to bondaegi (the larva that I wrote about earlier) and eel. I think in some cases it's an attempt to convince Westerners to try new foods, though I give myself props for being pretty adventurous with the food here. When we go inside I became immediately aware of the smells coming from the kitchen and got even more apprehensive about the impending meal. Once seated, they
brought out plates of raw, diced duck with some drumsticks and wings as well. At this point I'm thinking "OK, so it looks like chicken, it's cut into nice little pieces and as long as I don't have to gnaw on bones I'll be able to convince myself that I'm just eating chicken. I can get through this, there is even little lettuce leaves and sides so I can make it into little wraps like we do at other BBQ restaurants with pork and beef. It's going to be OK." My co-teacher told me that we were having the grilled duck and a traditional chicken and rice soup that I like so I figured I'd eat a few bites of duck and then stick to the soup. Well, while the duck is cooking in front of us, they bring us marinated onions, sesame and lettuce leaves, kim chi, and what looks like a boutique salad with a light dressing. I've never been so excited about a salad in my life! I'm going to town, hoping to fill up on the greens and when I look around I notice I'm the only one. So I'm still doing alright at this point
Smile like you mean it
It's just chicken, it's just chicken... and then they bring out little shot glasses filled with a dark warm liquid. We raise our glasses and the head teacher gives a toast and as I raise my glass to my lips, about to take a sip, my co-teacher says "It's duck." What??? How can this be duck? She says it the water they boil the ducks in and guess what? It's good for your health too! So, after my close call with the duck bath water drink, I'm ready to down some of the grilled duck and get this over with. I make a few wraps with the leaves, onions, and sauce to mask some of the duckiness and then what I was dreading happened. With only the wings and drumsticks on the table, I began to avoid eye contact with the woman who'd been cooking our food mostly because she'd been putting little bites of duck in my bowl, uninvited, all night. No one else was getting this "special" treatment and I didn't want to be rude since she obviously thought she was being nice, unaware of my duck aversion. Out of the corner of my eye I see her pick up the biggest wing and
What a dish!
I got a reprieve with the chicken and rice soup wrap the bottom with a napkin before handing it to me. OH NO!!! It took all my mental focus to eat the few bites of duck that I had, convining myself that it was chicken. I was practically mute at the table because I was concentrating so hard, but now to have to eat off a wing? Reality was staring me in the face! I was eating Daffy! She handed it to me and in Korean said "For you because you are the most beautiful!" How could I refuse then? I graciously accepted the wing and took the tiniest 2 bites I could manage before sneaking it back onto the bone tray when she wasn't looking...whew!!!
I was finally done with the duck portion of the meal and the edge was finally beginning to wear away as I finished our next course of chicken and rice soup. I've survived the duck bath water, grilled Daffy, and even chewed on a duck wing...the impossible had been accomplished and I was never more ready to get out of a restaurant than I was at that point! I mean, what more could there possibly have been. These very thoughts were still lingering
Game over
I made a good effort! in my head when I see 2 huge cauldrons coming from the kitchen and heading to our table. "What's this?" I ask my co-teacher because we were all very full and had eaten more duck in a sitting than most people eat in a lifetime! "Oh, it's duck soup!" she replied. Wonderful. I tried to rally some enthusiasm but it wasn't happening and I think the other teachers realized it! "I'm really full and couldn't possibly eat any more" I said, which was true maybe had they been serving a chocolate mousse pie I'm certain I'd been less adamant. Of course as the guest of honor I was served first and as I looked into the bowl, there were big chunks of reality staring back at me. The soup was chock full of duck still on the bone so I tried a sip of the spicy broth. Luckily, if there is something I don't like and it's spicy I can always blame it on the spicy factor because many Koreans think that Westerners can't take the heat. This was exactly the tactic I was employing while stirring my soup when I noticed something most unsettling. The duck still had little pin feathers on it and duck pin feathers are black, so I began to notice that my soup was full of these feathers and that is when I knew that meal was over. It was comical how many ways they served me possibly my least favorite food. I mean it was bordering on ridiculous! Duck feather soup, gnawing on duck wings, unhealthy amounts of grilled duck, and the duck bath water shots...honestly, what was that! I was glad when the "bonding" came to an end and we got to leave the duck place...yikes! I can honestly say that the experience did nothing to reverse my earlier duck trauma, if anything it made me more certain that I've been right in avoiding it all these years. Sorry to say, but I am not a changed person!
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A Korean in Seoul
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I don't have duck trauma but I don't like duck meat, either. They also tell me it's good for my health (same thing among us Koreans, you know), but I always answer them that they must take my peace of mind (=mental health) into account, too. So if I must go to a duck restaurant for some reason I stick with soju and "service" cold noodles while giving fishy looks to those duck lovers around me. ^^ p.s. Beijing Duck, on the other hand... During the recent Olympics, it was reported that athletes from all around the world consumed literally tons of it in the Olympic village cafeterias. I might try it some day.