You Get What You Give

---

When I was 15, I joined a group of bright and highly driven high school students in Washington, D.C. to attend Close Up, a program designed to give the upcoming generation an inside look at its government in action. For those of you who didn’t know me at that age, let me tell you a little about myself. I was basically a nerd. Not a typical nerd, I didn’t wear thick spectacles and I knew how to act in social situations, but I loved to learn. I loved to be by myself, to read and do my homework. And I loved to be right. Correspondingly, I loved to argue and to put myself into situations where I could demonstrate just how right I was. And if I was proven wrong (or if the right combination of wrong buttons were pushed) I would get angry, very angry. My tempers could last for days, and nobody was safe from my fury. As might be expected, I wanted to be a politician, or maybe a constitutional lawyer. Both professions complemented my natural inclination to be a genuine pain in the butt. For this reason, I was drawn to participate in Close Up. Looking back and connecting all the dots, I can say that my experience there was the first guidepost leading me to study Buddhism in Boudanath, Nepal, twelve years later.

During the program, my school was teamed up with another high school from Utah. Following the stereotype, all the students were Mormons. They were warm, friendly and incredibly eager to talk about their religion, which was perfect, because I was incredibly eager to learn about their religion. I wasn’t interested in converting to Mormonism, I just had an authentic interest in spirituality (growing up in its absence, I had an innate feeling that I was missing out on something). I was gifted a Book of Mormon and an address where I could send all my questions (while the Internet existed at this time, these were still back in the days when snail mail was commonly used.) Over the following months, I developed a close relationship with Jessica Smith, a beautiful soul who faithfully answered all my questions. We became close friends and have maintained our correspondence to this day (eventually catching up with the 21^st century and switching to email).

Last year, she found an old box in her closet that contained all my letters. With her normal loving care, she scanned them and emailed them to me. I read them all, red-faced with embarrassment over my mundane blather. But, every now and then, I’d marvel at the display of insight and motivation showed by the teenaged version of myself. What struck me most was how often I wrote about wanting to see the world, to learn different languages and about various religious customs. On February 5, 2000, I wrote, “Theology has always held a great fascination for me and I’ve always wanted to learn more about all aspects of it… especially Buddhism.” Over the next ten years, I began to travel the world, learning bits of languages and religious traditions, with absolutely no recollection of the aspirations I had penned in those letters. In a sense, I was achieving all of my goals, without any realization that I was doing so. It was only recently, after going to my first formal Buddhist teaching, that I had a memory of my long-ago words. Suddenly, I was hit with the strong sensation that I had finally made it, that I had finally found what I had been looking for.

The Buddha’s simple, non-sectarian teachings have transformed the way I see the world and, naturally, my reactions to the events that take place within it. I can’t deny that I’m still a nerd, but my mood swings have all but disappeared. I no longer look for opportunities to argue and I value being wrong for the opportunity it provides to learn. But by far the biggest and most important change in my life has been the recognition that I, myself, am the creator of all of my suffering, and that I, alone, have the power to end it. Buddhism has also provided the answers to some of the questions that have been pestering me for a long time, mainly How can I become the best person I can be? and What can I do to help the most amount of people possible? At its most basic, the answer is quite simple. It only takes an understanding of the Four Noble Truths, a willingness to walk the Eight-Fold Path and a little bit of patience, love and compassion.1

If you recall, when I fist got to Nepal, I saw myself as a prisoner of imposed exile. I didn’t see how fortunate I was to be in such close proximity to some of the world’s most respected and highest-ranking teachers of Tibetan Buddhism. To be honest, I didn’t even know that I was in such close proximity to some of the world’s most respected and highest-ranking teachers of Tibetan Buddhism (many of whom have reestablished their monasteries here in Boudhanath after being exiled from Tibet by the Cultural Revolution). Yet, despite my blindness to its blessings, the wheel of fortune kept turning and, one particularly fateful day, I was invited to join a pilgrimage to the four main holy sites of Buddhism led by Chökyi Nyima Rinpoche.2 I accepted, wholeheartedly.

The tradition of going on a pilgrimage is a practice that has been encouraged by all the major religions of the world for millennia. In general, the purpose of a spiritual pilgrimage is to visit a place considered ‘holy,’ but the definition of what and where ‘holy’ is changes depending on the spiritual tradition. From a Buddhist point of view, a person, an object or even a moment in time is described as being ‘holy’ when it’s not stained or defiled by human greed and aggression, or more importantly, by a judgmental and dualistic mind.3

While a ‘holy site’ is a relative notion in Buddhism, Buddhist practitioners visit four major sites that commemorate important moments in the Buddha’s life. These include: Lumbini (where the Buddha was born as Prince Siddhartha and renounced his life of worldly comforts in search of the truth); Bodhgaya (where he became enlightened); Varanasi/Sarnath (where he first taught the path to enlightenment), and Kushinagar (where he passed away). The motivation behind a pilgrimage is to accumulate merit and to purify one’s body, speech, and mind of all negativities and obscurations. And that’s exactly what I aim to do. It is also my aim to further develop my wisdom, love, and compassion. It isn’t my goal to become a slave to Buddha, or to follow him with blind faith, but through constantly being reminded of his teachings and his noble qualities, it is my goal to become exactly like him – an enlightened being.

In order to complete the pilgrimage with the greatest sense of renunciation and the purest motivation of benefiting the largest number of beings along the way, it means a lot to me to have it funded by donations. Through donating money to my cause, you not only gain the merit inherent in giving charity, but you also share in the merit I gain by undertaking the pilgrimage. In this way, the amount of merit generated by my journey will be multiplied innumerably. If you should want any candles lit, or incense burned, I would be more than happy to make an offering on behalf of anyone who contributes.

The pilgrimage is set to take place from October 20-29. It is my goal to raise $175 to participate in it. The cost of transportation will be approximately $75. Food and lodging will be no more than $100 (at around $10/day for 10 days). You should know me well enough to know that I won’t be staying in any 5-star hotels or eating in any fancy restaurants, and should there be any money remaining from the raised funds, you have my word that it will be put towards a good cause (more than likely Mother Teresa's Home for the Dying in Kolkata, but I am also open to suggstions).

If you don’t understand exactly what it is I’m doing or why I’m dong it, or if you still wonder why you would freely give money to someone who has all the capabilities of earning it herself, I completely understand. Don’t give to me. That would defeat the whole purpose. Only give what comes from the heart, be it $1 or $100. As Mother Teresa said, “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” If my cause isn’t something you feel like you can give to with love, that’s fine. But I still promote the practice of selfless giving. So, be it to an animal shelter, social cause or research project that you feel is making a difference in the world, I encourage you all to make a donation, even if it’s only a bit of your time – this is already a very generous act.

Please contact me at [e-mail] for information on how you can help. Thank you all for your past, present and future generosity. May you all know true peace, true harmony, true happiness.


1 For more information the Four Noble Truths, the Eight-Fold Path, or Buddhism in general, follow the link at: http://www.thebigview.com/buddhism/

2 For more information on Chökyi Nyima Rinpoche and his activities, including this pilgrimage, visit: www.shedrub.org.

3 From What To Do at India’s Buddhist Holy Sites, DKJN, Siddhartha’s Intent, 2010.

---

Photos

Begging Bowl
The translation from the Tibetan term means more or less "bowl that accepts whatever falls into it."

Comments

[Giselle]

India
When will you get back to India and is it easy to get a work permit? Your writing is exceptional and must ultimately end up in books! Have an enlightening journey!