Parardise starts with an 'M'

---

After having just about enough of 'big city life' we headed for the island of
Paulo Tioman off the east coast of Malaysia. We'd read that it had been voted
one of the top ten islands in the world back in the 70's.

Although within the last 30 years tourism had no doubt grown at a rate of knots
on this island there was still enough paradise left to get lost in the moment.

We'd planned to spend a couple of nights here but ended up staying the best part
of a week. I even got Daz in the Sea for the first time this year (apart from
xmas day when he was surfing with me old man, see Jingle Bells blog). Reason
being that the snorkelling off the beach was amazing. I've done a few scuba
dives in my time but the coral and tropical fish around here was one of the best
locations i have visited.
There was loadsa dives on offer which was one of the main reasons for us going
there but due to a couple of blocked sinuses i wasn't allowed to dive. Gutted
about that but the snorkelling sufficed!!

There wasn't a whole lot to do here but spending the days basking in the
sunshine on the white sandy beach with a few cocktails watching the sun go down
on the horizon was enough to keep us entertained. (jelous yet??)
I'm sure people think that when you go backpacking around the world all you do
is hike to the summit of mountains with a 25kg backpack on and eat super noodles
three times a day. Trust me, it ain't all like that!!

We'd befriended an irish lass and her mum who was visiting her on her travels
and spent most the week with them as we were neighbours at our bungalow resort.
Lovely people but give them too many alcopops and i'll be damned if we could
understand a word they were saying!!

Not too many superclubs on the island but a couple of beach bars who were
willing to stay open till the early morning so we were more than content.

My life nearly ended though as i was reading me Mandela book (i know i've been
reading it for weeks but trust me, it's politically heavy!!) in a hammock when i
thought a bomb had landed beside me. Not exactly a bomb but a coconut "frigging
hell", not quite the words i used but something along those lines. Apparently
more people die from coconuts falling out of trees each year than Great White
Shark attacks (u don't need two guesses as to who gave me that statistic) but
considering i've been milimeters away from both i'm sure my time is coming
soon!! Oh right, maybe that buddha stuff in Singapore was
right.........................."no no no" don't beat yourself up about it Jesty,
that was b@llox remember.

We could have stayed here another month but we had to get on the road because
the Full Moon party in thailand was on June 1st and we'd arranged to meet up
with my Hubba-bubba bird (Alice-Darwin blog) to party the night away.

We still had a couple of days to play with though so we headed for Kuala Lumpar.

Looking at a map this looked a straight forward route. Well one boat, which i'm
sure just moved withg the current and didn't have a motor attached (so slow) and
'THREE' buses later we arrived.
Two of the buses were of Malaysia standard which are no doubt the best in the
world; the seats are absolutely huge and enough leg room for someone to massage
your feet as u go but bus number three was an experience shall we say.
We were approaching the bus station in the centre of Malaysia somewhere and soon
realised that we were about to experience a local bus for the first time in
Asia.
The seats were all buckled and torn, the air-con consisted of sticking your head
out of the square hole in the side of the bus (no windows) as far as it would go
to cool down, cockroaches running everywhere and the best bit was the driver.
Probably the only fat person in this country boarded the bus with a huge
malaysian smile and gave us a look that sort of said "hang on lads, you're going
on the ride of your lives". He sat behind the wheel and proceeded out of town.
This bit wasn't too bad, because with all the traffic he could never build any
speed up; but a few minutes later when we were out on the open road that was
when the fun really started.
Instead of slowing down for corners he'd just grip the bar next to him firmer as
to stop him sliding out of his seat, he was absolutely loving it but although me
and Daz were laughing we were both crapping it deep down. Some of his overtaking
manouveres mr hamilton would of been proud of but we were in a frigging bus
remember and not an F1 car!!

Finally got to KL where we thought the nightmare had ended except not being able
to find our god damn hostel, the travelling had reached boiling point as me and
Daz had a shall we call it 'backpacking bitch' in the middle of the street with
each other.
These are hilarious, if two females had these bitches that we have then they
wouldn't talk to each other for about three months after but lads are lads so we
have a five minute 'lets get everything out in the open what's been bothering us
for the last few weeks' and then it's all history and we spend the next five
minutes laughing about it.
We've only had three in ten months so i think that ain't bad, just imagine
spending ten months wiv ya missus side by side; now that would be WWIII me
thinks.



Not alot going on in KL i have to report except for viewing the Petronas
building which i think is the second highest in the world now the Trade Center
isn't there and spending a few hours in internet cafes and of course eating good
food and drinking fine wine. (ok, no fine wine but cheap beer.)


Only a couple of days spent here and then a lovely 27 hour journey to get to Koh
Samui.

The good news is that the next blog will have photos so glad these are out the
way.

Nb. Just a quick comment to Ajmel Shakir that has taken an interest in my
previous blog. Thanks for your abusive message and just to set a couple of
things straight. As you probably realise these blogs are done in a humourous way
to keep me entertained. I offended you by reffering to Abu Hanza but i only used
his name cos he was in the Sun newspaper everyday back home before i left. I
know as much about politics and religion etc than i know about knitting so if
you don't like the content of the blog mate then don't read 'em. Apologies
though for any offence caused.

---

Comments

[jiman]

apologies accepted
good that you realised to watch your writings as not to hurt other people's feelings. and please remember there are so many other ways to be humorous rather than being pathetic to other people. and if you think my sentence about you busy planning to bomb iraq and afghanistan is abusive, then you should really also think that "being humorous" about abu hamza bombing etc is also abusive. and one more mate...if you post you article to be viewed by the public, you should expect all spectrum of people to read it. if you don't want me to read, then write it in your own personal diary... so mate, be more responsible when you write something for the whole world to read. thank you

[Megs]

Good usage of sufficed mr jesty. Keep it up xxxxxx