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Chicken Testical Vendor
bottom middle... mmm mmm Current cravings: anything other than chicken testicals
australian music.. any... we'd settle for Craig McLaughlans 'Mona'. Does anyone even remember he won a gold logie!!!!
Yes i know its hard to believe for anyone who knows me. The man who grew up not only not being 'allergic' to seafood, shellfish, duck, offal, mushrooms, avacado, cantelope, mango, nuts, seeds, dark bread, dried fruit, soggy weetbix and after one too many consecutive days of eating sub par caserole, that too, I ate chicken balls. Kym and our new friend Mellisa took us to some dodgeville market by the water and started picking freaky random things from the street vendors (when i say random, they had fish but im just trying to set the mood) Melissa pointed at these satay skewers and said she was 'told' that they were chicken balls. They looked normal and truth be told i didnt believe her. After all its what i used to tell my brother whenever he put somthing foreign into his mouth... thats another story all together. They went and sat and i said i was going to come back with a suprise. My version of suprise was going to be 'chicken' in
my fried rice. SUPRISE didnt see that one coming did ya! I fooled y'all. Instead I had a good look at these so called chicken balls and although temmpted to signal to the chef by flapping my arms about while holding my nuts I came to the diplomatic conclusion that it was an old wives tale and that they were just satay sticks. I ordered 2. coming back to the table i'm pretty happy with myself to fool them with my 'suprise'. I manage to get some pretty impressed looks from the girls as well. Without hesitation i gnaw into the first bite and take a look at it as im chewing away and sure enough it tastes like chicken. In my head im thinking im on a winner. "How is it?" "Yeah pretty good you guys have to try some" Just as i say it i hit the gristle. Hmm ive never had gristle like this in chicken before, then another bit, then i realise theres not much meat at all. It's testical. Kym ends up trying them but for me one bite was enough. My allergy to nuts still stands.
Well folks it has been quite the
week and a bit. Time has whistled passed us and we have barely had time to even look at a computer let alone sit down and write on one. Well where do i begin. The beggining i guess.
Since the hectic period when we last wrote we decided that we needed to spend a few days relaxing on some islands off of Kota Kinabalu in Sabah, namely Manukan and Mamutik. The beach was crystal, the fish were a plenty and i spent most of the 3 afternoons squealing and running away from plastic bags that i mistoke for jelly fish. Ive realised that i actually have a fear of these little bastards which if i do say so myself is pretty pathetic. Kota Kinabalu was a great chance for us to indulge in some 'normal' food again after having eaten rice and noodles for EVERY SINGLE meal. I dont no how they do it. No wonder they all look so misserable. We met some nice people here and actually quite enjoyed the town but as you do as a backpacker its goodbyes and off to the next stop.
Wanting to climb Malaysias tallest mountain, we were pretty dissapointed when we
found out we couldnt get any accomodation on our way across to Sandakan. Seems you actually have to plan in advance. That's so eighties. I guess in retrospect it probably would have been a pretty tough climb in boardies and thongs so maybe in was a blessing.
We eventually made our way from KK to Kinbatagan river after a plane, two buses and a cab. On the way there our bus pulls over and the driver tells us its our stop. Unwittingly we pull of our bags, the bus drives off and like a scene from a movie we are left staring at rolling hay balls down the street with nobody else in sight. I dont know if the whole bus was staring out the back window laughing and pointing at us as it drove off but we were left in the middle of nowhere, nearing night time, no where near our destination. Luckily we were able to pull over a 'private taxi' (aka someone just driving home) and he took us to our stop. The trip itself was quite an eye opener as we got an oppurtunity to see how much of the rainforesst has been bulldozed to make
way for palm oil plantations. Its palm tree after palm tree for as far as the eye can see. Pretty full on to think of how much they have ravaged the most diverse eco system on earth for the sake of a few bucks. anyway
We had organised to stay at Miso Walai which is a great initiative set up by a small community that invests money into protecting and maintaining the rain forest surrounding it as well as keeping money in their community via everyone being involved with the tourists. For instance... we met with our guide Jim on arrival and he planned out our 2 day itenerary. From there he gives us a lift to our homestay where we get an oppurtunity to live with locals in a stilt house for a few days. More about that shortly. They then cook you local meals 3 times a day, steamed rice, then steamed rice, then steamed rice with cabbage, and also take you to all the sightseeing things in the area including river cruises, night safaris, caves and trecking. If this wasnt enough the village gets together and puts on a cultural performance of dances, martial arts and music
pretty much just for you. It was awesome. For anyone reading this and planning a trip to Malaysia get on board. Its a great initiative and within 12 months they will have also built an eco lodge in the middle of the jungle.
The homestay: Shit this blog is long. This was by far the hardest living i have ever done. Ive camped, ill happily play in mud but for Kym and I, 2 days of rice, ice cold bucket showers with water that smelt worse than what you did before you got in, squat toilets with no toilet paper yet a bucket full of that same water you wash in, mosquitos the size of cars and a rooster living next door to your bedroom window who quite obviously is living in another time zone as it smashes out cock a doodle doo at two am in the morning and every 10 second increment after that. I want to be able to march in Anzac day after all that.
Kyms experience with squat toilets is a cracker too. I know im a little obssesed with poo stories so I promise this will be my only one. For all of those
under 18, with a weak stomach or epilepsy look away now. With kyms first experience at squauting she'd already told me she was a little nervous. She went in for 1's but unprepared 2's reared their ugly head out of no where. Dealing with the fact that it was going to be a 'water cleaning experience' rather than toilet paper she closed her eyes and just got in there and did it. The toilet has no flush so a bucket of water just gets put in to flush it down. Pretty happy that there were no skiddies to clean (god i love that word) she was almost over the whole experience until she realised that shed missed the bowl. To her horror she had to push the coil into the toilet with her hands. hahahahahahahaha. Oh thank god i didnt eat that much cabbage.
Over dinner our host in broken english was telling us about a place in Malaysia called malaka. I told her to her suprise that we had a bloodline of melakas in our family... not knowing what id said she just nodded politely as they do and said yes.
For those of you that are still reading,
following this we went to Sipadan Orang Utan Sanctiary where they nurse orphaned 'Tans' back to full health. It was an awesome day watching them just play with each other in their natural habitat unlike through wire mesh at a zoo. we were with a couple from Poland who the day before stumbled across two Tans on the board walk and got the oppurtunity to take photos of them climbing all over them. Bastards. We spent the next day with them playing cards and as i do so graciously i kindly let our new frends and Kym win. This was our last toursist activity in Malaysia and after a brief stop in KL we now sit in Ho Chi Minh City at an internet cafe, with no lonely planet, no accomodation booked and no idea how much my million dongs is worth. Im already waiting for the right moment to ask someone if they want to see my Dong. To top it off the internet lady has just put a glass of ice water in front of me and knowing that its going to give me mad diohorea im so thirsty i might still drink it.
Love to all those
tuning in and always remember my brothers. One fish two fish, red fish blue fish, nick nack paddy wack give a dog a bone, two thousand zero zero party wooop outta time....... my bacons smelling fine
Age and Kym
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Anna
non-member comment
hahaha
Soo funny, Kym, should of told you about those squat toilets! v. strange, but your experience sounds worse!! hahaha And Age, everyone loves a poo story, it always gets the giggles going! Love to get these blogs, the photos are fantastic too. Enjoy your time kiddos big kisses xxxx