Kota Bharu - the place to stop over

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Russell - When we asked Jimmy the best way to get to Kota Bharu he said "Ah Rass-all don't. It rain and rain. Now is Monsoon. Backpackers don't go to Kota Bharu till March." We explained that we were only going there to catch the train to Taman Negara, and he said enigmatically "ah well, the weather is always the same there." After some coaxing we managed to get from him that we could get a ticket on the night bus from the local shopping mall.

Ticket in hand we had our dinner and were ready to go pick up our bags from Ken and Jimmy's. When we got there Ken and Jimmy weren't there, but their equally helpful and excitable colleague, who never did tell us his name, was there. "You have long time to wait for bus, stay here, have a shower, have a beer, relaaaax". Lins decided to take up the offer of the shower, and I decided to take the beer and sat down for a chat with the some of the other travellers.

At about 7:30 we decided it was time to make the hour long journey to the bus station in the south of the island. After checking bus numbers with our host we managed to grab the right local bus, which set off - and plunged straight into the evening traffic and stopped. For ages. We were getting slightly concerned we would miss our coach, but soon enough we were at the new bus station with a few minutes to spare. As we needed to get the tickets from the office upstairs I left Lins with the bags and went up to the terminal. The woman at the desk looked at my receipt and asked me to go to see the man at desk 1, who would tell me which bus to go to. "Wait here" the man at counter 1 said, and went to go away. I told him I needed to get my partner, at which he nodded and I went down to help Lins with the bags. We dragged the bags up the stairs and went to sit down, only to have the man come back and say "Follow", so we picked up all the bags again and followed him. Back down the stairs! He took us over to a bus with Kota Bharu written on the front and motioned for us to stow the luggage. The bus looked really nice with three abreast seating and blankets, so we were hopeful of a good ride. "You take this bus to Butterworth and change on to other bus" our man told us. Now to understand why we were so upset you need to understand something of the local geography. Penang is an island and Georgetown where we were staying was at the north east corner of the island, whereas the bus station is in the very south of the island. Butterworth on the other hand is on the mainland exactly opposite Georgetown and connected by a free ferry service which takes about 20 minutes. We had effectively travelled for an hour down the island only to cross the road bridge to drive an hour back up the other side. None of this was told us at the time else obviously we would have bought a ticket from Butterworth, especially as the ferry terminal was about 5 minutes walk from Ken and Jimmy's and we could have had a couple more beers. The guy just shrugged and said it wasn't his fault. It seemed he did not sell us the ticket, the first lady had just sold us on. So fuming we went to confront the first woman. She didn't seem to care. Firstly she just shrugged and said that it was the way things were. When we persisted in our complaints she told us there was a problem with the bus and this was not a normal way of doing things. Well an apology was still in order but we never got one. She just shrugged and at the end of the day what were we going to do. Well for a start we will for the first time give a negative review and let people know that P&O Express are not to be relied upon to tell you anything. The reason they did it this way was that we were the only people going from Penang so it was cheaper for them to sell us on to someone else to Butterworth and then start their bus from there. If we had missed our connection we were given no indication what we would do, just that we wouldn't miss the connection. The moral of the story - go from Butterworth and don't go by P&O Express!

We did arrive in Butterworth and we did get our connection, but the bus we had to move on to was not nearly as nice, with no blankets and no reading lights so when they turn out the main lights its off to bed. Luckily for us we have our own book lights! This bus was also not going to Kota Bharu as a final destination but just as a stop. Having met our Singaporean friends who were lost after missing their stop, I didn't really feel like going to sleep! We were due to arrive at 5:30am so it was going to be a long night. Still I did get to read a lot of my book! Also, looking out of the window at the darkness you could tell that the scenery was dramatic. The road twists and winds up and down mountains with mist sitting in the bottom of the valleys. It really was a shame we were on a night bus. One magical moment happened at around 2am when we came around the corner to see a huge shape at the side of the road. As we got closer I realised it was an elephant standing behind the crash barrier grazing the verge with its trunk. For some unknown reason the driver felt the need to flash his headlights at it, though personally I don't think I would have done anything to upset an animal that big. It could do some damage, bus or not! Apart from that the journey went pretty uneventfully. When we had boarded we were a bit dismayed to see a mother and baby sitting in the seat in front of us. I had expected it to cry all the way, but apart from a couple of times when its mom picked him up, presumably to check it was still alive, when it gave a quick "for God's sake, what now woman?" cry, it didn't make a sound. In fact the only annoying passenger was the guy who decided that 2:30am would be a good time to select a new ring tone on his phone and proceeded through every option on his handset. Fortunately shortly before I decided to get up and show him how much better it sounded shoved up his arse, he gave up.

At 5am we arrived in Kota Bharu but once again we didn't know where. The Malaysians seem to think it would be just crazy to pop up a sign telling you were you are, so we got off the bus on to a side street. The usual group of taxi drivers were circling waiting to pounce so we huddled away to consult our guide-book map, while the taxi drivers huddled towards us and tried to read the map over our shoulder. The guide book tells us there are three bus stations in Kota Bharu, but based on past experience there could have been a few more built since it was published. The problem currently was that we didn't appear to be at any bus station. With no other backpackers to follow (well Jimmy did tell us) and no crazy frog we headed towards the biggest lights we could see, and thankfully just around the corner we found a bus station, but again - no name. More taxi drivers were here and some came over which we had to shoo away. Not that we were averse to getting a taxi, seeing as we didn't know where we were, but it was 5am and since no hotel is going to let you check in that early, we had nowhere to go. So we stuck to our plan and found a nice spot to wait until daylight when we could move off, and had our breakfast (Cheesy poofs). We were kept company by the local Mullar who started his first call to prayer of the faithful at 5:30am!

At around 6am the first spots of rain started to fall and we were introduced to the monsoon (well what did Jimmy say). Locals kept coming up to us in an apologetic way and pointing to the sky saying "Monsoon, very bad!"

By 7am it suddenly became light, and the information centre opened, so I went to ask which of the two out-of-town, long-distance bus stations we had been left at. As it turns out we were at neither, and we had been waiting in the centre of town. The hotel we were intending to check out was just around the corner, so despite the rain we were able to walk over to it and check in, which surprisingly they let us do this early.

After a well earned sleep we headed out for lunch and to go to the train station to buy our tickets in the Jungle Railway to Jerantut, the closest train station to Taman Negara. We headed to a restaurant near the hotel and waited for a menu. The waiter came over and asked what we wanted. Food, we said. "Yes, what do you want? Fried rice, noddle, beef, chicken?" It seems menus aren't used here, so we ordered our safety standby of Nasi Ayam - chicken fried rice.

Back into the rain we headed back to the bus station to get a local bus to the railway station. The train station is about half hour from town, but the KB traffic is even worse than the Penang and KL traffic, so we were at a stand still for most of the time. The traffic here is quite weird as it never seems to move at all. The fact that we actually get to our destination suggests that it must do at some point, but I can't say I noticed. We eventually got to the small town, Wasif Bharu, outside the main city that houses the station. The bus driver pointed us in the right direction as the bus doesn't actually go all the way and we headed out getting soaked to buy our tickets. "Oh, you can't buy the tickets today" said the woman behind the counter. "You must buy them on the day. The train leaves at 6am, ticket office opens at 5:30am." Great, another early start! Probably not much sympathy from you working people! So we trudged back to the main road to pick up the next bus back. To shelter from the rain we stood in the doorway of a shop and I popped inside to get a drink. This was a very small town and the choice was limited. I could have Pepsi, Coffee Pepsi or Soya Milk. I have never seen Coffee Pepsi before and I doubt I ever will again!

On the way back in the city there was a surreal moment when the roads were clear, and the bus dashed up the road. It didn't last long, but we worked out that it was prayer time again so we assume that all the drivers had nipped off for prayers. However the whole journey still took forever, and once we managed to get back in the city we looked around at what there was to do. In this weather I think the only answer was go inside and watch TV. We had a TV in our hotel room though it was one that had a button you had to pull out to turn on! It was showing a film about Santa Claus's daughter trying to save Christmas. It was a kids' film but the censors had managed to find something even in this too risque to be shown, so we had the usual jump in the film just before their lips met. This was followed by a film with Kim Basinger and Jeff Bridges (The Door in the Floor, I think) which had an 18 rating and was about the disfunctional sex lives of two middle aged people. It was so cut up I think it only lasted 20 minutes and it didn't make much sense. Though we aren't sure it would have made sense if they hadn't cut it. I think this accounts for the brisk trade in illiegal DVDs that seems to go on everywhere - it's the only way to work out what the films are about.

In the evening we hit the town to find out what they did in one of Malaysia's most strictly Muslim cities on a Friday night. Go and pray it would seem, as nothing was open. Surveying our culinary options we ended up in Pizza Hut opposite our hotel and had the most difficult ordering to date. Despite having about 100 staff on and no customers they all seemed to want to avoid speaking to us. I think they suspected our Malay wasn't up to much. At the end of the meal we decided to be devils and have one more cup of tea before bed, and eventually caught the eye of one of the waiters. "Could we have two more teas please?" I asked. He smiled broadly and nodded his head. That wasn't too hard. 10 minutes later no tea and no tea being made. Lins gave it a go and called over another waitress. "We ordered two teas?" "Yes" came the reply and she scuttled off. 5 minutes later still no tea, so we called over a third, more senior looking waitress. "We ordered two more teas but they haven't come yet" I tried. She went over to consult her colleagues and much was said in Malay. She then came back with the bill and pointed to the two teas we had already drunk on the table. "Yes, we had two teas but it was so nice we would like two more." Finally the penny drops "Ah, two more tea!" she said in triumph and returned to her colleagues with much laughter and relief. Maybe no-one orders two teas here, but we're British you know.

Back to the hotel and check that our taxi will be at the hotel to pick us up at 5am and we have a wake up call. So off to bed - just make sure we set an alarm on the mobile to wake us at 4:30. We get up at the alarm, sort ourselves out and bring the luggage down stairs. But there had been no wake up call. When we get to the bottom we find out why, as all the lights are off in the lobby and we wake up the night porter who has made a bed up behind the reception desk. At 5:15 we still don't have a taxi and are getting a bit worried. "Can you call the taxi people our train will be leaving." He picks up a piece of paper behind the counter "Yes taxi, 5am" I point at my watch and he goes to pick up the phone just as the taxi arrives. It whizzes us to the station in about 15 minutes which just goes to show how bad the traffic is during the day. We bought our tickets and were ready for our journey on the Jungle Railway.

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