Laos Please Don't Rush

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One of the first things we notice in Laos is that time flows differently. It doesn't seem to progress linearly any longer but stays frozen for most of the day except for brief infrequent intervals when through the accumulated static energy the time bursts through the wall of inaction and things somehow come about. We learn very fast that L.P.D.R. doesn't only stand for Laos People's Democratic Republic but also for Laos Please Don't Rush. The Laotians are probably the most horizontally inclined nation out there. As a local saying goes too much work is not good for your brain. Everywhere you look at, there's always somebody lying low in a hammock. We in the west have so much to learn from these people. If you miss your bus, take it easy for a day and take another bus next day. Not that you have much choice in the matter. Another illustrative point about the Laotian psyche is that like Finnish with only one word that has enriched the English language, sauna, there is only one Laotian word that has been incorporated in English, which happens to be bong. How poor would English be without these essential contributions? Although some philologists argue the origin of the word bong is in Thai but since Thai and Lao are closely related, the argument is moot. Why argue when we all can be just happy?

Charming riverside Luang Phrabang lures us by its leafy streets lined with French style villas and excellent coffee and croissants places. We align our pace with the flow of Mekong and Nam Khan rivers and stay here for a fews days exploring its streets, wats, shops and cafes. We visit the royal palace, once residence of the King of Laos which strikes is by its simplicity. The rooms are left as they were when the royal family was taken to a re-education camp when the monarchy was overthrown by the communists in 1975. They never came back, but the museum says nothing of this historical episode.

We learn that the tomb of Henri Mouhot, le grand explorateur francais, is just outside Luang Phrabang. Given the remarkable life of this French Indiana Jones, we go to pay homage to him. There's something very karmic about his demise. A year after he made his claim for fame by bringing the existence of Angkor War into the western attention, he met his maker by a malary carrying mosquito. A man of the great feats brought down by the tiniest insect.

Next on our route is the capital, Vientiane. This is the first time, and the last so far, when we have travelled on a sleeper bus. Which is basically, a short train on wheels, transporting about 40 sleeping people in short (Asian design?) double beds. Fairly comfortable and time saving way of traveling. A summer in Vientiane is hot, hence we try to cool down in the town swimming pool, but find it as warm as the air. The only place that makes us feel cool, guess?, is a sauna! We do visit a sauna on a buddhist temple grounds, which turns out to be more of a social place with a diverse crowd sipping herbal tea and discussing life in the 'big city'.

Keeping in mind the French colonial past, we try out a Fench restaurant, the best in the town. I go for foie gras served with a pear followed by a steak tartare with a raw egg and etceteras. Exactly kind of food one should avoid eating in Asia given the omnipresent fear of Delhi belly. Nastya breaks the frog tabu and has meaty frog legs, followed by a special Mekong fish with blue cheese sauce. Being on a budget, some painful sacrifices are to be made, hence, Bolinger Special Cuvet, 2002 and Chateau de Petrus, 1986 stay unordered, remedied by a carafe of Chardonnay. A heinous castronomic crime for which we hope to be forgiven by our understanding readers.

On the grim side of the history of Laos, we go to the COPE visitor center that explains Laos' legacy of unexploded ordnance (UXO) and the National Rehabilitation Centre's efforts to expand rehabilitation services across the country. Laos is the most heavily bombed country in the world, the secret bombing campaign by the United Stated with more than half mllion bombing raids in 8 years leaving the country highly contaminated. Over two million tons of high explosive rained down from bomber raids launched on average once every eight minutes. Nowadays, there are still thousands accidents a year, involving farmers and children as about 30 per cent of the bombs remained unexploded. The cleaning can only be done manually, and with the current advancement rate it will take about 2000 years to clean all the lands. Guess how much uncle Sam is paying for clearing its own mess?

Going further south, we stop at a tiny village of Konglor to visit the Konglor Cave. It did exceed all our possible expectations, it is an absolutely beautiful place. A 7 km tunnel made by the river through soft limestone with stalactites and stalagmites striving to reach each other. We take a boat trip with a smiling old man, who brings us through the cave into a lush valley on the far end. The river water is cool and taking a dip after a two hour boat trip feels divine. We enjoy an easy day on the river before our last trip to the very south of Laos. This was our longest leg in Laos, we spend 26 hours on the road, to cover just 600 km from Konglor to Si Phan Don or 4000 Islands, the place where Mekong fans out in several streams meandering between green islands.

We had to use tree different buses and each had its own story. The first one was a typical Laotian local bus, meaning that it was stopping to collect the passengers at every village, stopping if someone had a nature call, or wanted a drink or some fruit sold along the road. We made 40 km in 2 hours, just to find that the last bit of the road was blocked by a truck sunk in the muddy road. It took 3 hours of fruitless effort till our bus bus was finally pulled thought the knee-deep mud. The next means of transport was a tuk-tuk loaded with locals, where we made friends with a badly drunk farmer. 100 km in 2.5 hours was the best it could do. The last one was a night bus, unfortunately not a sleeper one. When it arrived we sighed with approval, gleaming, two level bus, with a VIP tag. Some doubts started to crawl into our heads when the staff started to bring out plastic chairs, why one would need plastic chairs on a bus ? Soon we have learned the answer. There were not enough places for all the passengers, overbooking. And, if you do not like it, you can take a bus next day, with no guarantee that the situation would be different. Sitting in the aisle of the bus on plastic stool is not my ideal way to travel, especially considering the journey will take 16 hours. But that's just the way it is and stoically I accept my fate. Fortunately after about 3 hour, someone gets off and I get a proper seat. With a little help of Valium, in courtesy of young American backpackers sitting next bench, the trip becomes somewhat bearable. Next morning we arrive on the islands.

It seems that the more south one gets in Laos, the more relaxed it gets. Having put down our bags in a simple wooden guest house over Mekong, we are reluctunt to leave our hammocks for the rest of the day, and the same goes for the morrow. We do make an effort to get around the island and check out its beautiful waterfalls, shy dolphins and taste some local delicacies. Tubing goes well with our state of mind, and we spend a couple of hours floating down the river contmplating the simple life of river folk. Lying in a hammock at the sunset, watching the Mighty Mekong flow by, just like it has done for thousands of years, it dawns on us we have finally hit the mother lode of relaxation. You know that rare blissful state of being, when everything's alright and nothing can get under your skin. This is a moment to be cherished.

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