Tripe, Liver and a red hot face

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I'm here and so far, so culinary.

Arrived in Vientiane xmas morning, having travelled up from Auckland the previous day to Bangkok.

This is my first time travelling on my own in a few years, and I'll admit to feeling a little timid. As I was most nervous of getting from the airport to the guesthouse that I had fastidiously booked several weeks ago, I studied my guide book religiously on the flight, and walked out of the airport with a fixed look on my face, determined to march straight past all the taxis on offer and make for the main road, where my Bible (Lonely Planet, where would I be without you??) advised I could pick up a tuk tuk for half the price of a taxi.

My resolute face took on something more shamefaced when one very nice taxi driver followed me, offering me the great rate of USD4 to town. Knowing I could indeed get a better rate, I told him that I was meeting someone and knew exactly where I was going. Then he pointed to the exit. It was in the other direction to where I was heading... What the hell do I need pride for anyway?

Within seconds of getting outside the airport grounds, a rattly old tuktuk, tilted backwards like a hyena, pulled up and I was offered the bargain rate of USD2, which I gladly accepted. If I'd been braver, I would have haggled and knocked him down an entire 0.50c, the rate suggested in the Good Book, but I thought I had used up my bravery for the next hour just by skipping past all the taxi drivers.

Haggling is expected, indeed it's probably shameful not to, but the truth is, I'm terrible at it. Just shocking. I go all coy and just say nothing, hoping the hesitation will be enough (it usually isn't). In my defence, I feel ridiculous niggling over what amounts to a dollar or two for something that is essentially dirt cheap anyway.

Much more embarrassing is that I have not mastered tipping either. I spent less than 12 hours in Bangkok and managed to make a hash of it twice. And I was asleep for the majority of that time. Oh well, I'm sure that hotel concierge thought a USD5 tip was pretty damn good for simply carrying my pack up in the lift and showing me where the light switches were. Maybe it made up for the tip I didn't give at all to the nice lady at the Airport who gave me a, frankly, superb massage.

Anyway, brushing that aside, I have been busy since I got here. I've been out eating and wandering, so it's been a little solitary and I haven't yet made any friends, except a couple of (painfully boring) conversations with someone who might possibly earn the title of most painfully boring 70-something englishman I have ever met.

Not that this solitude hasn't been worth the sacrifice of a social life: I've been focussing on my nutritional intake. In other words food. And damn it, it's good! I've made the decision to go all out, breaking all the eating when travelling rules. At least this way, if I do get sick, I won't know what caused it, and so won't be able to attribute blame!

As soon as I had settled myself into my room, I set off to stroll around the town centre to getting my bearings, change some money and basically get a little lost. Then through the dusty haze and whiff of stagnant drains, I suddenly smelt the pungent aroma of basil and mint. Heaven! Having just downed an almighty fruit shake (it was a papaya one; this morning it was guava and I'm torn between mango and watermelon tomorrow, before trying out the stuff I've never heard of), I wasn't ready for lunch, but I vowed to return later, if I could only figure out where I was.

What a wise decision! I did make it back and it was worth it! Sadly tho, I ended up sharing a table with a bloke from Senegal who had the most almighty BO, which completely overpowered the rather scrummy fragrance of asian basil that I was ripping up and putting in my bowl of soup. I love this food, it's so straight forward, subtle and you can tailor it to your tastes by added from the large selection of condiments on the table. A squeeze of lime, a dash of fish sauce, chili when I'm feeling brave, not to mention that basil; the flavour is less sweet than italian basil, more like aniseed, which goes really well with the clear beef stock.

After this meal, I ambled lazily back to the guesthouse for another lie down (I must have been totalling about 3 by this stage - I'm arguing acclimatisation and sleep deprivation from the flight). A few hours passed of general laziness before I headed out to the banks of the Mekong River which marks the border with Thailand, to enjoy the sunset. I wandered up and down for a while, strolling past what must be hundreds of food stalls, all cooking over coal BBQ's, and all trying to get me to sit at one of their tables.

There is a not unpleasant smell to the air of burning foliage and the light is very hazy so I'm surmising that this is burn off season. By now, the sun was getting very low and through the haze, it took on a comforting orange glow. I decided it was a good time to park up and found a great food vendor who cooked at street level, but a little further down the bank, had set up a large matted area with low tables, cushions and thai reclining cushions to get comfortable on.

I ordered a fresh coconut to drink, which I love for it's lack of flavour; t's slightly sweeter than water, but it has a great fizziness to it. I dined out on a feast of BBQ chicken, sticky rice and spicey papaya salad, looking out to the river, with the rest of Vientiane driving up and down in tuk tuks and motor bikes on the boulevard behind me, sounding much like an advancing army of lawnmowers. The sun turned a blood red colour before finally dipping down behind Thailand.

The lights went on, my hosts brought out a candle in a cut down plastic bottle and some bastard at another stall was playing christmas carols!!! How was I meant to forget it was christmas when everywhere I turn someone is playing effing Jingle Bells!!!

And breathe....

I finally thought I had taken up there table for long enough and mosied back to the guesthouse, only to discover it wasn't even 7pm yet! Not sure what to do next, I picked up my book, a great little read about a woman's trip around Laos sampling the food, which has been very inspirational, and quite educational too. But within about 10mins I was nodding off again, so I opted for an early night. Earplugs in.

Not surprisingly, I was awake early the next morning, earplugs just not able to block out the sound of someone hacking up a furball in the bathrooms. What a lovely way to start the day.

So I was up and out for more food: this time a pate and salad baguette with the aforementioned guava shake. No doubt the descriptions of great food are getting a little tired, but I need to tell you how great pate, spring onion, coriander and banana flower goes together on a freshly baked baguette. Ok, that's all I say on it, you'll just have to imagine the fresh crisp flavour of the coriander mixing with the spicyness of the baby spring onions and the gentle hint of meatiness from the pate. Damn, I'm hungry again.

Next, I went to hire a bicycle, complete with wide handle bars and a delicate little shopping basket. Thankfully, they didn't give me a pink one. This was so I could reach some of the more distant sights, although to be fair, everything is in pretty close proximity here. I actually planned to cycle the path of a recommended walk, with just an extra sight tagged on.

So first stop was Patuxai, or the Victory Arch. It's an ornate four way archway, at the end of a long wide boulevard, constructed from concrete donated from the US to build a new runway!! There are numerous references to the Arc de Triomphe, but the ornate khmer detail is very similar to hindu art work and has me in mind of something I'm sure I've seen in photos of India, although I'm not sure where, I keep wanting to make reference to Rajasthan.

I climbed up the inner stairwell for a view from the top. I was a little stunned when halfway up, I encountered 2 floors of silk and souvenir t shirt vendors, although this didn't stop me from having a bit of a look around on the way back. I'd like to say the view was magnificent, and although it was worth the tiny entrance fee, I couldn't see far for the smog!

Much more interesting was the trip there. I had a great time peddling along in the traffic, with scooters and tuktuks, cars and even bloody expensive 4WD's zooming past and around me! It's all strangely controlled, and everyone seems to know what they are doing. Which is fortunate, it made up for me.

So I ventured back on the big roundabout that surrounded Patuxai and headed out to Pha That Luang, a large and sacred gold temple. Although it's not really gold, more painted with a yellowy metallic paint. Still gives the same effect tho, which is overall rather impressive and makes you grateful for sunglasses in the bright sun.

I mosied back to my bike and peddled a roundabout way to the main market, hoping to get more long sleeve tops to cover me up from the sun. As it's the dry season, the humidity is not that high, but the sun is searingly hot, which means cool mornings. Not quite adjusted to the weather yet, I'm not wearing scarf and fleece like so many others.

The market was impressive, aisles of silver, silk weavings, beautiful coloured fabrics, some touristy nicknacks, fridges, TV's, even a rather great little food court, baking hot from the coal BBQ's again. After strolling around and getting myself some clothes that I no doubt paid too much for, probably about USD10 instead of USD8 (really need to work on that "go quiet and hope they dropped the price" thing), I ventured back to the food stalls. And herewith is the most intrepid thing I have ever done....

I ordered beef larb. Larp is the national dish, and is made from minced meat or fish, marinated in herbs and lime juice and served with sticky rice (much drier than glutinous rice). Having been reading my wonderfully educational book about Laos cuisine, I was aware there might be a risk to this, but went ahead. Oh I'm so brave....

Anyway, the meal came out and I ploughed in, trying to ignore the fact that I was indeed eating a variety of parts of the animal, including tripe. It was actually quite tasty, and I'm sure that a few generations back, used to eating offal, would not find this quite so queamish making as my own. I plowed on valiantly, and had it not been for the rather strong chili, I would have eaten even more. I didn't however cope so well with the beef soup that came with it, that had huge junks of what I presume to be liver. The texture of the liver was what was so off putting; the closest thing I can come to describe it is powdery like sodden cardboard; a regular on our dinner table.

Then I went to the food market, and had a good look around, which was fascinating. Rows of greens, garlic, chilis, raw meat, fish, some in large bowls of water, some freshly killed, herbs, bizaare looking dried "things" (this is a technical term for "I have no idea what it was"), fruit some familiar, much alien; turtles and even very small bats! The stall holders must spend all day to sell in a very competitive arena. I saw one woman curled up sound asleep in amongst her produce, others were eating their lunch next to the goods.

I had seen some fruit being sold a lot, much like a large brown bean pod, and wondered what it was, so asked someone, who let me taste it. She broke open the pod and inside was a reddy brown pulp surrounding smooth black seeds. Still not certain, but I think it is actually tamarind, and quite sweet and tasty when eaten fresh. I bought a few, along with something else, that looks like a small potato but has a sweet fleshy fruit inside. Mental note, must find out what it is....

Back to my bike, sharing a laugh with the tuktuk drivers offering me a lift "No, I have bicycle", "Ah Bicycle...", and back to my room for a refreshing shower.

I'd been putting off having a shower as I was expecting it to be stone cold, and trying to make sure I was all hot and bothered so I could enjoy it. Imagine to my surprise to find that I was getting really good value for money for my USD5 a night: room and a hot shower! Luxury! I'm making the most of it...

Subsequently, I dithered for a while about what to do next, and finally opted for a sauna and massage, so back on the bike in the middle of a Vientiane rush hour, which is a noisy dirty experience. But in the end, I couldn't be sure if the place I was looking for was indeed correct as there was no signage in english, so I turned around saunaless and massageless and opted to drop in on a guesthouse that is meant to offer cooking lessons.

And got hopelessly lost getting there. At least I thought I did, until I had given up and opted for the first turn left, across rows of traffic, in order to try to get back to where I thought I should be. Suddenly, I stumbled across the guesthouse and rolled up, found out the details and promised to book in when I return to Vientiane on my way back home in a few weeks time. I had been hoping to this on my arrival, but couldn't find any information on it here or on the internet.

Now, I've been tapping away on this keyboard for a very long time now (and I'm sure the keys are smaller than I'm used to, because I keep making lots of typos; the backspace button is getting a good workout). My stomach is grumbling, I'm thinking maybe a BBQ fish tonight? At least I know it won't be offal....

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Photos

Xmas sunset on the Mekong, Vientiane
This was my xmas dinner; sunset on the Mekong with a fresh coconut to drink

Patuxai, Vientiane
The vertical runway, the Victory Arch is made from concrete donated by the US to build a new runway.

Information sign, Patuxai
Note the reference to "less impressive, like a monster of concrete", as if if the Laos are a embarrassed by this structure and don't want to visitors to think they are proud of it!

Pha That Luang
Most revered buddhist icon in Laos and the national symbol

View from Pha That Luang
Looking north to one of the many Wat (temple) surrounding Pha Tha Luang