Laos enviroMentalist adventures... Vang Vieng and Tha Khek

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After long, hot and tiring but a very very fun day of bike riding in the countryside and local markets of Luang Prubang, talking with local teenagers to improve their English at the Big Brother Mouse book publishing place and waking up at 5am to give alms to the young monks, (basically we kneel before the precession and place breakfasts of balls of sticky rice and bananas in their baskets as they march past), we headed south to Vang Vieng. We knew from hearing other people's tales that this was the tourism capital of Laos so were a bit apprehensive about the amount of 'white chicken' (locals nickname for us tourists) we would have to peck about with, so we stayed 3km walk out of town on the Organic Farm.


The farm is set on the beautiful Nam Song river which slinks along the bottom of the huge dark mountains which we can admire from our bedroom in our lovely big wooden hut which all four of us share. It produces all (obviously) organic foods which it sells in its restaurant and gives yogurt to local children to improve their nutrition. Their speciality is mulberry products, and after trying the juice, tea, pancakes and mojitos of the mulberry kind, I can tell you they are all super delicious! You can volunteer on the farm, but in the heavy Laos heat we white-chickened out and instead took part in the big tourist honey trap - tubing.


Tubing is a fun, childish and very weird activity in which you are given a big rubbber ring to sit in and float down the river, until you see a wooden bar full of half naked dancing people and loud music, and the bar workers will throw a piece of rope at you and pull you in to drink at the bar. Then you can dance in the slippery mud, be extreme and try the rope swings into the river or zip wires, or just enjoy the cheap local whiskey buckets or beer. Without stopping, the peaceful ride down the river would only take about one hour, but there are about 10 bars to slow you down. I was looking forward to the views rather than the bars, as the river really is quite gorgeous, despite the day being a bit grey.


The first stop was at our farm anyway, so we just got in, and holding hands wearily, floated away pulled by the monsoon current. The first bar was playing reggae and dub stuff and it was nice to chat to some other tourists although we did feel so typically Laos white chickens. We went to a couple more, some with big slippery dance floors and hard dance, (and over-kill of The Killers) but when it started raining heavily, people covered in mud in bikinis dancing in the rain is very very surreal to witness!


The last bar we visited had a fire so we warmed up a bit. I think tubing would be better on a sunnier day. People warned us to leave and go to the end bar before it got dark, but unfortunately the sun went down quicker than we realised, and we were floating towards the finish in pitch black. A young boy who we had thought we were having a nice Laos chat with as he swam along side (and on the back) of our rubber rings, had opened our dry bag which was on my back without us noticing, and took two cameras and two wallets. This is just something you have to look out for when tubing, as a mixture of alcohol, darkness, trusting and sheer evilness can make an otherwise fun day turn into misery, as we had heard this happen to many other tourists. But we sorted everything out, and although it sucks immensley for the people that lost everything they care about most when travelling (photos and money) we finally managed to get the police report from the un-trusting, suspecting police.


After sorting out our pickle we then went south again to Vientianne (where we swiftly celebrated my birthday in a road side restaurant with a beerlao to go for the bus which I couldnt even halve a quarter of as I am a lame drinker) to catch a bus to Tha Khek. This time the bus didn't have so many last minute Laos riders that they had to place plastic chairs up the aisle and have strangers sleeping on my shoulders, so it was more enjoyable and I could take in the gorgeous mountainous scenery.


When we arrived we finally found a guest house where the receptionist wasn't passed out on the chairs surrounded by beerlao bottles and leftover noodes and got a lovely room for about 50p! The next day after having no luck finding internet in the whole lovely city, we organised the trek for the following morning. A tuk tuk with Mr.Mee inside (very funny guy who came up to our chests) picked us up at 8am and took us out of Tha Khek as we ate our black sticky rice and coconut strips in banana leaf and into the countryside where we were dropped off in a village.


The trek was gentle at first, although within 5 minutes we had to take off shoes and socks to wade through thick soupy mud and giant puddles left over from the afternoon monsoon showers. Eventually we came to a beautiful tranquil almost turquoise lake which we swam around in to cool down. Mr.Mee and the local guide fire cooked fish, boiled eggs, long green beans and sticky rice, which we ate in balls dipped into chilli paste. It was delicious and all locally produced food. (I am doing well as a vegetarian, it is easy enough to explain: Koy-Boar-Kinsi!)


After trekking onwards through more jungley areas we came to a cave where buffalo sleep where we admired the stalagtites. Next we went around the mountain to an even bigger cave which we swam in, and even though the floor was very spiky the water was cool and it was amazing to swim under such huge rock formations. It begain to rain so we walked deeper into the cave and it opened up into a bigger area where apparently locals have a three day festival once a year. We walked up some stone steps to the top of the cave where a big gold buddha sat, and behind him many smaller buddhas saved from the war, some hundreds of years old. This is about the time the rain was heaviest and I lay down under the big buddhas gaze for a much needed power nap. When I awoke the rain had stopped and we got into canoes at the bottoms of the cave and were rowed out into the clear blue sky once more.


We marched on through layers of trees, spotting food, herbs, medicines and insects Mr.Mee explained to us until we came to many blanket folds of rice paddies which we had to wade through once more. Eventually we came to the village that was putting us up in their eco-lodge for the night, Phonetong. Helen helped prepare the papaya salad and the family cooked us a chicken broth, sticky rice, steamed rice, boiled eggs and crushed eggplant which was addictive as anything. Then we were included in the Baci ceremony with the family. They sat us around a pretty banana leaf ornament and one at a time we placed our palm upside against it while the 38 year old chief of the village placed a pudding, a banana and a glass of laolao (very very strong rice whiskey) in our hand whilst giving us good wishes for health, jobs and for a beautiful husband! Mr.Mee translated everything for us so it sounded like multiple chanting which was quite relaxing. When the chief finished the words he would tie the white cotton around our wrists with a knot in, which if it stayed on for three days would confirm his promises. Then we had to neck the laolao. Ouchy! That stuff burns. And the whole family laughed at me for my light weightness! Then we had to do the same for the family. When it was my turn I had to do it for the oldest lady who had the smiliest face in the world, and drank laoloa much easier than me. I couldn't really think of anything to say so just repeated what Emma and Helen had said about prosperity and good rice paddie harvests, and hoped it came true.


The next 'morning' (SIX A-M!) we had some delicious noodle soup breakfast, super sweet laos coffee and tea with yet more sticky rice (we were by this point the proud owners of rice babies in our bellys and found it hard to get walking) and headed onwards. This part of the trek was under much more jungle with smaller, rocky paths along streams and most of it was uphill as we did 2km of the 15km up the mountain. We only stopped once before arriving at the next village where we were cooked a delicious lunch. (I did see the chicken being killed but comforted myself with the fact it had a happy life amongst this village of smiles). The food was so spicy though I felt a bit dizzy and I got free lip plumping!


The local guide got a bit lost after lunch so we never found the lagoon, but headed back, weary with the scorching heat just in time for the afternoon downpour. Once it had subsided we got the craziest tractor ever back to the main road. I say tractor, but it was more of an extreme sport involving a dragster shaped lawnmover with a wooden trailer with us in. The driver had some proper skills navigating us through muddy banks and deep water, although we did have to walk and push for some of it. At one pint we collided through some leaves and Fle got bitten by a scorpion! But he is all ok. Apperently.


After a much needed non-rice based meal, we said fond farewells to Emma and Helen as they headed further south to the four thousand islands and we got the bus to Vietnam. (Eventually).
Laos is a beautiful country which I would recommend to everybody in the world to visit before it becomes to overrun with tourists in certain areas like Luang Prubang and Vang Vieng. But it will never be completely spoiled as long as there are eco-tourism companies at the forefront to keep control of things. The scenery is spectacular and the people are the warmest I have met yet. If you want to make the most of the local's hospitality learn some of the easy language, we learned quite a bit and it helped loads!
I will miss you lovely lazy lady Laos!
xxx

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