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Published: August 9th 2007
Backpackers may be the only group of individuals in the world named after their luggage carrying devices. Thats kind of strange dont you think? What do they call people who carry a sack? Pretty unfortunate. No real backpacker wants to be known as a backpacker either. They want to be travellers. Travellers have a sense of adventure, an endless bank account and are never afraid of the unknown. Backpackers have a reputation of being cultureless, dirty and so tight that they make Jews seem frivilous ( there it is, weve singularly insulted every group of stereotypes known to man in these blogs). It used to be easy to distinguish them by backpacks alone until companys went ahead and started putting wheels on backpacks thus fucking everything up. Nowadays your average backpacker has cottoned on to this, found the soap bar and are secretly mingling with us travellers.
At lunch the other day a group of 6 of us who had known each other for a whole of 6 minutes sat down for a bite to eat. The fact that we shared the same coloured skin and were in a foreign country seemed like as good a reason as any to share
a table and a conversation. Unbenownsed to us though one of these guys was a backpacker in disguise. After one guy had completed his meal and left a few mouthfuls of curry and a half eaten piece of naan, the backpacker leers over and asks are you going to finish that??? After a whole of 6 minutes this guy is comfortable enough sharing some strangers scraps. Not even left overs, they were scraps. Whats that all about? We all stared at the backpacker and watched as he devoured the curry scraps like a dog who hadn't eaten in a week. We all felt ashamed that a backpacker had somehow slipped amongst our ranks. It made us think though. Those dudes you see dressed like hobos collecting scraps from bins, theyre not homeless. Theyre backpackers. And the ones you see sleeping in the park. Backpakers doin it tough saving a few bucks so they can spend an extra day in the place where they have no money to do anything anyway. They're evolving people! Beware.
Vang Vieng is a travellers dream. A place where the beer is always flowing, the partys always happening and the hangover is gently nursed while watching
Chillin on the river..
The sunnies didnt make it to the endseries after series of Friends at every restaurant in town. Vang Vieng itself is surrounded by Karst scenery that is close to the best wev'e seen since we've been away. The weather is always stuck on 30 degrees, you never burn, you always tan. The river that flows along side the scenic mountain is full every day of backpackers and travellers alike tubing down the river in an inflated tractor tyre stopping at all the bars perched along the banks, drinking beer laos and their home made whiskys and then swinging off their 10 metre high swings into the water and back on their way again (truth be known the backpackers just pass by the bars and wish they could afford a beer) The only problem is the rapids go so quick that you lose people as i found out on two occasions when I finished the river and had to wait two hours for Kym to come back. She didnt get lost. It's more that she found the bar on the way down.
Once nightfall comes there are bars to continue partying or you can do what everyone else does and pick a restaurant to dine at based solely
on whether you want to watch the episode where Chandler gets back with Janice or the one where Ross and Phoebe hooked up. Bizzrely every restaurant has exactly the same menu (some even have the same front page) and they all play Friends from morning to nightfall on tv. I dont understand it, but i like it.
Our trip to Vang Vieng started curiously as we watched a passenger on our bus jump on board with an AK47 tucked under his T-Shirt. I was anticipating an 'Allah Akbah' kind of scene but lucky for us it didnt eventuate. He just sat there quietly signing along to the buses karaoke with the nuzzle resting beneath his ball sack. Not sure I would be snging under those circumstances.
When we check into our hostel we find out there is a movie cinema across the road with lounge pillows on the floor and an endless collection of dvds for you to chose what you want to watch on the big screen. Sounded like a good way to veg out for the afternoon. Its 11am so we head over and get a spot near the front only to find a group of 3 lads
already watching some 1960's war film. We decided to be patient and sit it out till their done. At closer inspection we noticed there was a bottle of Johnny Black on their table and it was already half empty... at 11am. Two of the lads departed leaving one slightly tubby pom who quiote obviously was now short on friends and brain cells. He'd been talking to himself and laughing at random parts of the movie as if he was in it. Ive seen this situiation quite a few times before you see as I am what is known as a moron magnet. It could be an empty bus with only me siting on it and a drunk will walk in and without me having even made eye contact they'll head towards me like fly's on shit and take the seat right next to me. No sooner had it been thought when he gets up with his bottle and a glass and heads straight over standing between me and the screen towering above me as i lay down eating my pancakes for breakfast. 'Fucken whisky' he spits out. "oh cheers for the offer but it'll spoil my pancakes". "Fuck off, dont
be a pussy you little pussy" or somthing equally as stupid is said as he fills a gigantic shot into the glass, slams it back leaving his saliva trail from the glass to his lips as he fills it up again and puts it in front of me. "drink it". The girls are looking at me to stand up for myself and tell him to piss off. Im looking at them hoping one of them has mace. Being the pussy I am at 11.05 to the girls disgust and mine, I knocked back the biggest shot of whisky known to man. I dont even like whisky. In fact i'd rather drink a bottle of ethenol. But I am intimidated easy and quite obviously this guys seen one too many war films for my liking. I consider the fact that ive seen one too many American Pie films not neccesarily an advantage in this situation. He wanders back to his seat falls asleep and I take a little solice in the fact that a little later on he rolls over on his whisky and coke spilling it all over himself. I showed him.
On one debaucherous night in Vang Vieng being
the pool shark that I am, I decided to enter a pool competition after a days tubing (aka drinking). As always I signed myself in as a different name. So far in the two months that we have been traveling Adrian Hall has not left the country. However Dolph Lundgren has stayed at a few backpacker hostels, Rocky Balboa has been to see the Irrawady Dolphin and on this occasion Neville Bartos was about to kick some ass at pool. My name was shortened to Neville on the board of twenty but for me it still had the punch. By the time it was 3/4 of the way through I was still in but I was extreemly drunk. I decided I probably didnt have a chance so I might try and be a showpony on my exit. The game was you get a ball in you stay alive, you miss your out. Any ball, any pocket, no fouls allowed. Easy. I was on my fourth go and I had an impossible cut into the side pocket. I lined it up, looked up at the crowd and without looking back at the table, took my shot and just put my fists
up in celebration. Bugger me dead it went in to the laughter and applause of the bar. Some guy then taps me on the back and goes good shot mate. But it wasn't yours. Im Nigel, you just took my shot. I looked back at the board and true to his word it was. It seemed in my drunken stupor that i'd forgotten I was Neville and quite obviously assumed that Nigel was just as ridiculous a name that I would have chosen. Hint to all future mothers out there. Dont call your kids Nigel. Nigel went on to win but for the first time in my life I went out in a flame of glory.
It was hard to say to goodbye to Vango Vengo but Luang Prebang was next on the hit list and we had to get moving.
Luang Prebang is a world heritage listed city meaning that if anybody wants to fart they have to let UNESCO know first. The city has a worldy charm that they beklieve makes it one of the most well preserved citys in Sth East Asia. We dont know about that but we certain love it.
From here we took a
day trip to Tat Kwang Si waterfalls which was the sect we have seen on our journeys so far. You could climb up 100 metres to the second tier and swim in a pool above it actually perching your head over the edge to see the drop below. The water was the first that we had seen that was not brown as well which was even more of a bonus.
We also did a 25km hiking treck that took us into the jungle, camping overnight on a 'beach' beside the river and then kayaking for 5 hours back to town. The views were amazing and the trek was full on. Getting back to the campsite we found out that they had sent our backpack 2 hours back to town on a tuk tuk leaving us with nothing. After we kicked up a stink they luckily sent someone back to get it. Our guide Huan im sure was getting bored of hearing me say once he got back that he is our 'number Huan' tour guide.
One of the girls we were with as a drastic measure had to take a crap in the river rapids as there were no toilets
anywhere in sight. It made us wonder about the state of the old Mekong. The Mekong itself travels through 5 countrys I think starting in China coming down through Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and then through Vietnam. Imagine the state of the river once you get to Vietnam. Its no wonder the Mekong looks and smells like shit. It is. By the time those rapids get there along with thiose from all the other desperate backpackers the water is going to need some serious touch up's on travellers Photoshop to get it looking blue.
As usual our travels have been awesome. We are sad to say goodbye to a few friends we have been with for a while but are looking forward to the adventures that lay ahead. We dont know where we are going next or when we will have to really start looking for work but all we do know is we are in no rush to work it out. Living the dream
A and K
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Amy Scott
non-member comment
Wow
You guys really are living the dream! Plan to do the same end of next year!