ｋyoto

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so i am in a japanese internet cafe in kyoto and i can't use capitals. if i do this happens　- ￥個vのsdbんそん.　it might look cool but it isn't very helpful. i always have trouble with keyboards abroad. the @ keeps moving too...

still the cafe is quite funky. it has a manga library, tea, coffee, and a free dog grooming parlour. yes. dog grooming parlour. there are blankets and brushes and combs for the canine customers, some of which have little outfits and hair ribbons.　i am in one of the 37 individual internet pods - some smoking, some not - but all of which have a little privacy curtain in red and white gingham. i also note from my receipt that i could have booked a wider seat for an extra 200 yen. good manners dictated that i was not offered one.

anyway, i arrived in japan five days ago. i took several trains from the seaport to get here. on one train all the seats have a pedal that allows the seat to swivel. the guards ensure that at the start of every journey all the seats face the direction of travel - carriage after carriage after carriage. i have also been on the bullet train which looks like a cross between an aeroplane and a python. the bullet train is so smooth and fast and quiet. they are extraordinary. the stations have an endless choice of vending machine food from ice cream (delicious) to hot dinners (not willing to try).

before joining my tour group at the hotel, i spent my first night in a slightly more comfortable version of a capsule hotel. my room was on a female only floor (all floors are gender specific). the room was 2m by 2m and had a plastic floor, ceiling, three walls and one big curtain. the room contained a bed, table and tv. to watch the tv i had to wear headphones. no mobile phones, music or conversations were permitted in the rooms. the entire floor had no natural daylight and was centrally temperature controlled. i woke up feeling very rested but slightly like i was a museum exhibit. the shared lounge and bathrooms were beautifully clean. all the residents wore simple and elegant nightwear provided by the hotel. only hotel slippers could be worn inside. in all it was a cross between 'one flew over the cuckoos nest' and habitat. terrance conran should have a go at the nhs. it could be a lot more elegant.

kyoto is a very beautiful city with temples, shrines, neon signs, old wooden houses, incredible shopping and wonderful food. i have spent a thousand fortunes on sushi and handicrafts. i have never walked so slowly through any city. i want to see everything. it is also quiet for a city. nobody shouts. the signal for the pedestrian crossing is like an electronic bird. the reversing sound on vehicles is like a lullaby. people speak softly. bus drivers thank every passenger and wear chauffeur hats. it is as if in kyoto all instructions are given in fairy tale.

last night we walked around gion - the old entertainment district. it is full of coloured lanterns and narrow streets. to avoid old taxation laws, which were based on the size of the frontage of a property, the old tea houses have tiny entrances but can run in depth for 100 metres. we saw one geisha. one of our local guides explains that the differance between a geisha and a prostitute is just between a one night stand or a five year contract. i guess someone has to pay for all the kimono. now the geisha (or apprentice maiko) are artists performing for tourists. they cost between 3 and 5 thousand pounds for two hours. one of the teahouses has a published schedule of lessons for geisha - calligraphy, music and dancing. others have wooden tablets on the doorframe, discreetly notifying passers by of which geisha work at the house. everything in gion is discreet.

in contrast i have spent much time walking around kyoto train station. i promise i have not turned train spotter. the building is incredible. like a huge shard of granite split open and filled with steel. it rises 12 floors with a central atrium where a series of stairs and escalators run parallel all the way from ground floor to top. people actually get married here it is so pretty. the top floor over looks kyoto with a garden of moss and bamboo. bose speakers spew out birdsong. the food halls in the basement are like works of art. i am addicted to chocolate bread. on the platform business men in smart suits lie on the floor, briefcase under their head, for a quick nap before the train. nobody disturbs them.

anyway i don't have much time left in kyoto. it has been great though. i have visited a temple which is the biggest wooden building in the world and houses a huge wooden buddha. in one of the pillars of the building a hole has been cut. it is meant to be the size of the nostril on buddhas carving. people are allowed to climb through - which i just managed - and in doing so become reborn. i am happy to accept any blessing i get. i have also experienced the joys of japanese toilets. yes, some seats are heated. yes, most have 'tinkle' buttons which when pressed create a 'neutral' water noise which is meant to drown out your noise. it also has volume control. genius.

i also went the the manga museum and had my portrait painted manga style. just so you know i look rather good manga style. kind of like a cute, shiny eyed librarian with ninja indexing skills.

i will write more soon. keep well and love to you all.

ｋxx

ps - top typo of the week. at a bar last night we spotted a drink called a 'shandy guff'. i shall leave the rest to you.

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