It's Fun With Engrish! (Goony Cory Cross Day)

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Okay, so one of the great joys about teaching English in Japan (or any non-English speaking country I suppose) is all the new and exciting variations of the language you encounter on a daily basis. Today’s was particularly memorable for me, not just for its sheer absurdity, but also for the brilliance I perceived on behalf of the student who coined a new word. Our lesson today dealt with the use of “let us.” For example, “Shall we go to the park?” “Yes, let’s!” (long time fans of the comic strip Bob the Angry Flower may recall a particular installment in which Bob joins a support group and they play a game called, Yes, Let’s. I certainly did, though I declined to elaborate on why I chuckled every time I said, “Yes, let’s”—for more detailed information consult the Bob the Angry Flower anthology In Defense of Fascism). After a few rounds of practicing accepting invitations to the park, my teaching colleague and I started giving examples of how to politely decline: “No thank you,” “I’m sorry,” and naturally, “No, let’s not.” Following our model conversation, we asked various students if they wanted to go to the fictitious park and they duly responded using the examples we’d demonstrated, with the exception of this one student. When asked if he wanted to go to the park, he responded, “no, let’sn’t.” I thought I had simply misheard him. After all, it isn’t uncommon for perfectly acceptable English sentences to become so distorted by Japanese accents as to be rendered undecipherable. My colleague, however, who is adept at understanding Japanese accents, turned to me and asked, “Is that okay?”

“Is what okay?”

“Let’sn’t?”

“Huh?”

“Let’sn’t. Is it an okay answer?”

What he was asking finally registered with me and I told him “no,” although I admired the student’s brilliance. And bravery. In a culture that fears being wrong, where a simple mistake can bring irreconcilable shame, this student took a risk and tried to use what he knew about the English language to do something creative. As I see it, he recognized that English speakers contract, among others, negatory phrases such as “did not,” and “can not,” into “didn’t,” and can’t.” I presume he concluded that “let’s not” should follow the same pattern. So he came up with “let’sn’t.” Brilliant. Wrong, yes, but still, his line of reasoning was pretty sharp for a grade nine student and I told him as much. I also told him that his new word was probably the first double contraction in the English lexicon. I think he took some pride in that fact, as anyone should.

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In other news, the Oilers, as all Edmontonians already know, dropped game 4 of their series with the Red Wings. It was heartbreaking of course, but for myself not entirely unexpected. The NHL desktop calendar gods whom I put so much stock in just weren’t on our side today Oiler fans. Initially, though, things looked quite promising. I was very excited to tear off the pervious day’s page to reveal an Oiler for my player of the day. Surely this would be a sign of good fortune to come. My excitement was quickly abated, however, when I realized the player featured was none other than former Oiler goony Cory Cross. Any good omens portended by game day coinciding with a day featuring an Oilers’ player were negated by the fact that the player was Cory Cross, king of boneheaded plays and untimely penalties that have cost the Oilers on more than one occasion during his tenure with the team. Not to mention he now *cough* plays for the Wings. My heart sagged as I was instantly hit with a nagging inclination that this would not be the Oilers’ day, though I wished it would turn out otherwise. Unfortunately, my inclination proved correct. It was almost as though Cory Cross was a malevolent spectre returned to haunt his former team, a somewhat fitting image when you consider he was foisted to the rafters of Rexall Place by the rival Red Wings to preside over the game from the press box. Yet from that vantage he somehow managed to carry out his wrath on the team that sent him packing back in January. So curse you Cory Cross! Curse your goony hide! If, god forbid, the Oilers lose this series, we’ll probably look to this game as the pivotal game. And it was all Cory Cross’ fault we lost! Let’s get him! No, there’s enough violence in the world already. So let’sn’t but say we did.

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Comments

[Andrea]

"Former" really never was
That's just as bad as saying "former Oiler" Kirk Maltby............Should we also hoist him up with Cory Cross? Let'sn't but say we did.