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Published: October 14th 2009
"Family Photo Time"
Monkey Forest Sanctuary “Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by.” - Robert Frost
The island directly east of Java is probably the most well known part of Indonesia. In fact, over 80%!o(MISSING)f travelers to Indonesia visit Bali only, and not without reason. Unlike the Javanese, the people of Bali are predominately Hindu, not Muslim. But unlike the Technicolor statues of gods favored by Indian Hindus, Balinese shrines are stone thrones and statues covered with bright green moss, usually containing a variety of daily food offerings on leaf plates with incense, all to appease the spirits. These shrines and ornate temples seem more like they were formed geologically and were meant to be there, giving this place a unique atmosphere that is unlike anywhere on Earth. Plus, when you realize that Bali also has great beaches, great diving, cheap prices, is only a cheap flight from major cities in Asia or Australia, and more monkeys than you can shake a stick at, you realize—Why not go to Bali?
Our overnight bus trip from Java to Bali was fairly uneventful, considering. If I wanted to get any sleep I had to try
not to look out the front window. The basic rules of the road state: if it's bigger than you, get out of its way; if it is smaller than you, do your best to run it off the road. Our driver barreled fearlessly into oncoming traffic, forcing motorcycles and cars off the road, then returning to the correct lane only when a semi-truck coming straight at us. After this long traveling we have learned that, if you are going to die in a fiery crash it's best not to see it coming. There would be nothing I could do if a wreck was about to happen anyways. Just relax. If I can learn to accept whatever life throws at me, rather than trying t to maintain the illusion of being in control, I find that a lot of my fears dissipate. Was that a pearl of wisdom, or just sleep-induced gibberish? You be the judge.
My last thought, before my eyelids became to heavy, was: 'How are we taking a bus to an island? Maybe it's a James Bond bus that transforms into a hovercraft, with surface to air missiles in the headlights! Cool!” The answer presented itself as
I awoke to a sound as ear shattering as nails on a chalk board times a hundred. We were trying to board a ferry, the front bumper of the bus screeching along a ramp that didn't quite look like it could support our weight. The driver, still showing the same dead pan expression as before and smoking a seemingly never ending cigarette, was obviously thinking: 'Cosmetic paint job be damned! I'll just power this bad boy up the ramp!' The rest of the passengers went back to sleep and I couldn't help being reminded of the joke where a plane crashes as it lands on the runway and all the foreigners aboard act like it must happen every time the plane lands. We somehow made it onto the ferry, the driver parallel parking expertly between buses with equally smashed bumpers, and I made my way up top to get some sea air. As the ferry made it's way through the thick blackness of night a sudden ginormous (Yes, I said it. Gigantic or enormous alone just wouldn't do it justice) fireball of a meteor blazed brilliantly across the sky in slow motion, momentarily bathing the ships and surrounding islands in
crimson splendor. Someone yelled loudly: “WHHHOOOOOWWW!!!” It took me a second to realize it was me. I continued to bask in this awe as I felt my way back down to the bus, the blue-green afterimage burning my retinas, momentarily blinding me.
To this day I don't know why I wanted to see Kuta. In my mind I though it was going to be the premiere beach destination on Bali. Unbeknown to me, however, was the fact that Kuta was one of the infamous “4 Ks” on the old Asian hippie trail. Kuta, Khao San Rd in Bangkok, Kabul, and Katmandu are all you need to remember if the only thing you're interested in is the seedier and more heavily touristed side of Asia, at least as far as Kuta and Khao San Road are concerned. Kuta is the quintessential example of paving paradise and putting up a parking lot. As we showed up it took us 3 hours to find a place to stay, the whole time almost being run over by motorcyclists who decided that they had the right to drive on the sidewalk if it was a one-way street. Almost every pedestrian was a stoned white
guy with dreadlocks carrying a surf board and wearing their shorts half way down their butt. While Kuta does have some nice shrines and scenery, the ambiance is almost totally diminished by the sheer amount of ugly concrete, and the sheer amount of touts who will scream at you to ask if you want rent a motorcycle, get a massage or hire a hooker. 😞 The beach is nice, but it's so overrun with people that it's hard to even walk to the water. “But wait, Kevin and Ammi, I thought you said how wonderful Bali is! What gives?!” It is wonderful, but Bali is a lot like the “Terminator” movie franchise. The whole thing is amazing as long as you can block out the fact that you ever saw “Terminator 3.” Kuta is the “Terminator 3” of Bali.
One thing I did do that was fun was to take a surfing lesson. Surfing was kind of a white whale for me because I could do pretty much every other “boarding” sport there was (skateboarding, snowboarding, wakeboarding, etc.) but for some reason I couldn't surf. I'd always wanted to learn and I didn't take a lesson in South America,
and here was my golden opportunity. The instructor took me out for about an hour. Surprisingly I stood up on the first try, but I seemed to get worse over time as the instructor confused me by giving me too many little adjustments. I ended up being bored in the end. I could now check “learn to surf” off my life's to do list, but I think I'll go back to snowboarding.
Ubud, the anti-Kuta. Now we're getting to the good stuff. Goodbye concrete, surfers, and magic mushrooms. Hello rice patties, temples, and mischievous monkeys. Almost right in the middle of town is the Monkey Forest Sanctuary, a magical place where if you're a monkey you can swing, climb, sleep, eat, play, and fornicate to your heart's content. They are very playful, and will climb on you to grab a banana in an outstretched hand, but you also have to be careful. The monkeys are avid kleptomaniacs and can deftly remove items from even the deepest of pockets. They seem to instinctively know which item you'll miss the most, too, not necessarily which item they can use. I think I saw a monkey 30 feet up in a tree
Daily offerings
They would put these right on the sidewalks so you'd always have to watch where you're going holding a video iPod. Also, if the alpha-male feels you are somehow posing a threat to any monkey he can send out an attack command and all monkeys within the surrounding area will converge on you, usually not to hurt you but to scare you away. Once every couple of minutes we heard a random human scream, but hadn't seen anyone hurt. Ammi of course with a soft spot for anything cute and furry. exchanged her dreams of having a "backpack cat" for a "backpack monkey." This last right up until the moment a particularly aggressive monkey decided to sound the battle cry, forcing us to decamp at a rather undignified pace. Within the sanctuary are numerous shrines and a temple, that when covered with monkeys gives you the feeling that you're an explorer in 'The Lost World.' I think we took about a thousand pictures of monkeys in various monkey poses. Every so often the monkeys seem to leave the sanctuary and raise a little havoc on the town, as you'd see them bending car antennas, emptying trash cans, or swinging on telephone lines. It was kind of bizarre.
The great thing about Ubud was--despite it's touristy nature--a
ten minute walk outside of town would bring you face-to-face with Southeast Asia as you imagined it, where workers plant rice shoots in the patties as far as the eye can see, bright exotic flowers overgrow century-old shrines, kids play with beautiful kites and there isn't a tourist or screaming tout in sight. It's easy to just spend a day just wandering and taking pictures. We saw another fun, but bizarre dance performance and took a cooking class. For the cooking class we went to the local market where we were taught how to pick out the best ingredients, then were taught to cook a number of Indonesian dishes. Ammi is the better cook and I'm afraid I don't remember much besides chopping, peeling, grating ingredients into a paste in a stone bowl, and of course eating. Especially delicious are Chicken Curry, Nasi Goreng (spicy fried rice with 3 types of meat), and Gado Gado (fried vegetable in a peanut sauce). Very yummy! But probably not especially good for the waistline, though.
-Next stop: Malaysia. 😊
***TIPS FOR TRAVELERS***
If the idea of people partying till the wee hours of the morning right outside your hotel room window bothers you, take it from us, you are just better off skipping Kuta all together.
Do you like the idea of spending everyday partying at all hours right outside other peoples' hotel room windows? Stay home and get drunk/high there. Think about it, you won't notice the scenery anyway and it saves you the cost of a plane ticket. It's a win-win all the way around--cheaper for you, quieter for us and fewer CO2 emissions for the planet.
In Ubud: If you want to escape the touts yelling "TRANSPORT!", take a walk to the Botanic Garden Ubud. The walk there alone is worth it for the incredible, "off the beaten track" feel to the rice paddies, shrines and friendly people but the garden itself is special if you like orchids, butterflies and serene surroundings.
If you have a silk sleep sheet, bring it. Bed bugs can be a problem throughout Southeast Asia but especially in Kuta.
Air Asia has cheap flights from Jakarta to Bali, but you have to book in advance to make the cost comparable to a bus ticket.
Some sound advice about monkeys: Don't bring anything you would be heart broken
about losing to the sanctuary or at the very least keep a good hand on it at all times. If you are at all scared of monkeys but still want to see them, DON'T bring food! If you have food, they will jump on you--guaranteed. We actually saw a woman holding a banana and screaming at a monkey to leave her alone. This didn't make sense to us and it certainly didn't make sense to the monkey. Monkeys seem to have moods just like people, pay attention, if one of them seems agitated or hostile gave them their space. Generally the monkeys are curious and playful but they can turn on you very quickly if they are in a strange mood. Lastly, watch where you step! Though good advice on many levels, there is nothing more heart-rending then to hear a monkey cry out in pain because somebody just stepped on its tail.
Try a cooking class. The one we took was at the Gaia Restaurant on a street called Jalan Dewi Sita (the street with the football field) that runs perpendicular to Hanoman St and Monkey Forest Rd. This particular class is well priced (cheaper than many recommended
on the internet if your budget is tight) and included a trip to the market and more food than you could eat in three weeks. Eat only a very, very small breakfast or you may hurt yourself. Drinks (coffee, tea, etc.) are extra.
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Sydney
non-member comment
Monkey
I'm thinking that Ammi was really into the monkeys at first, but by the end they probably annoyed/freaked her out. I love the picture of the monkey in her lap and the caption is "Monkey Sanctuary." Has Ammi's lap become a monkey sanctuary? I don't think that's advisable. You saw the movie "Outbreak." I love you guys. Be careful.