Advertisement
Published: January 2nd 2013
Edit Blog Post
Foreigners traveling in India can chose from any number of things to complain about: it’s too hot, too dusty, too noisy, too dirty, too polluted, too crowded, too poor. The food is too spicy, too smelly, too goopy, too messy, too orange. But any woman, especially if she is traveling solo (and even if she’s modestly covered), will always have the same complaint: there are too many men who stare too longingly, too unblinkingly; too many men who grope too frequently, too fervently. And, excuse me, sir, I know the bus is crowded, but do you have to put your penis directly on my shoulder? It's really too much.
Traveling through Bihar, where the gender imbalance is even more conspicuous, I overheard a young, American woman asking a friend, “Where are all the women?” It’s a good question, and it brings up a good point. Where, indeed, are all the women? The answer came to me while watching an episode of
Satyamev Jayate (Truth Alone Prevails), the closest thing India has to
Oprah. The show suggests that the overwhelming male presence in India is indicative of a major problem within the country, that of female foeticide.
Fetal sex determination has turned into a multi million-dollar industry in India, resulting in the abortion of over a million female fetuses every year in India. In families where sex determination and abortion aren’t affordable options, baby girls are left in dumpsters or drowned in rivers. It’s easy to assume that uneducated villagers are responsible for the majority of the illicit activity, but in reality, it’s mostly members of the educated upper class who are accountable for the trend in female foeticide. India still follows a tradition of dowry, where the bride’s family gives a gift of money, jewelry, electronics, land, etc. to the groom’s family. In other words, daughters are expense. Plus, they’re useless when it comes to carrying on the family name. Seen in this light, families are better off without them.
While the implications of female foeticide are multiple, the most notable result is that India is fast becoming a nation of men – men who can’t find wives. In Bombay, there are 858 females for every 1,000 males. That’s only a difference of 142, you might say. But, let’s bring that figure up to the scale of the city and you get almost 3 million fewer females than males. And that’s only Bombay. The lack of women has led some men into buying brides. Sometimes, an entire family will have the use of a single brother/cousin/nephew’s bride. And, don’t forget, this bride will be expected to produce male heirs – or else.
India is still a country where it’s possible that a man won’t see his wife until the day of his marriage, when a sari is lifted to reveal the terrified face of a child. It’s still a country where he can say, “I knew she’d be a good wife because she was calm and quiet.” Combine the traditional role of the woman in India with the numerous and explicit sex scenes in Western television and film, and it’s no wonder that Indian men look at Western women – with our short shorts, tight tops, and stiletto heels – as porn stars who exist to fulfill their every fantasy. Can you blame them?
So, yes, there are a lot of men in India. And, yes, they will stare at you. It’s unavoidable. As a woman, if you don’t learn how to ignore the constant male attention, you will either: a) start making random groans of disgust/exasperation alternated with weird facial expressions to advertise that not only are you not interested, but you might also be mentally unstable, or b) go on a Kali-inspired killing spree, cutting the heads off of offending males and stringing them on a garland around your neck. Either way, you’re bound to be constantly irritated. My advice (which I find hard to follow everytime myself) is to just let it go.
POST SCRIPT: Recently, a 23-year old woman was gang-raped by six men and a iron rod on a bus in Delhi, then left on the side of the road to die. Several days later, she did die. Understandably, both sexes are outraged by this senseless act of violence – and they’re calling for more violence as a salve for the wounds. Common consensus holds that the perpetrators should be castrated and set on fire, while hanging from their necks. But, I have to agree with Gandhi on this one, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Instead of increasing the amount of hurt and anger in this world, why don’t we implement rehabilitation programs that will improve people and make society a better place? Maybe I’m too idealistic in thinking that it’s possible to show a little more respect for our fellow human beings. And, therein, lies the rub. For when females aren’t even respected in their mother’s wombs, can we be that surprised when they aren’t respected in the streets?
To watch the subtitled episode of
Satyamev Jayate on female foeticide, visit:
Advertisement
Tot: 0.123s; Tpl: 0.009s; cc: 15; qc: 75; dbt: 0.0529s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.2mb