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Published: January 15th 2009
Well it's been a long time since I've wrote in this, way too long to put every little detail that I would like to, but it's not all my fault. I've tried to write in the my blog twice while I was staying in Rishikesh, and both times I was unable to publish the blog and it didn't save either. I guess the internet cafe's in Rishikesh just aren't very good. Rishikesh was a great time though, and I'd like to spend some time elaborating on the experiences that I had while there.
At the start of my Ashram stay I was a great student, maybe because of actually having to wake up every morning for Vapassana meditation, maybe because I was really excited. Our schedule was actually pretty easy.
Wake up at 5am
Morning meditation at 5:30am to 6:30am
Morning yoga from 7am to 8am
LONG BREAK
Evening yoga from 4:30 to 5:30
Evenign meditation at 6 to 7
When I first arrived I would do all these things because they seemed pretty easy to follow, but as time went on I started to slump back into my regular routine and usually wouldn't get up for morning meditation, and even sometimes wouldn't get up for morning yoga! I would make up for not doing morning yoga sometimes by getting on the roof of our ashram and doing yoga up there on a yoga mat, which was actually very nice, but still wasn't the same as having a yogi barking orders down your back. Most of my time spent in Rishikesh was leasure time, which I wasn't expecting at all. I was expecting a really intense experience with yoga and meditation and chanting and little time during the day for myself. Instead it was just yoga and meditation, which was optional, and was overall much more of a social atmosphere that I would have imagined. A lot of people staying at the ashram were around my age, and even if they weren't, they were still great people. On the eve of Christmas day we all danced around a fire with a bunch of yogi's to hindi music, which was by far my most interesting Christmas ever. It was really great to have people from literally all over the world dancing around a fire together on Christmas, and had a lot of meaning for me. I also treated myself to a really really nice deep tissue massage on Christmas day. Cami, 2 friends of ours (a kid named Rory from Australia and another named Cody from California) and myself all went and got a massage that night, they all said that their's weren't that great and I think I got the guy who ran the place cause it was the best massage I've ever had. I was actually sore the next day from him massaging so deep into my muscles. Me and Cami and the other 2 also did a little secret santa thing, and that made it feel a lot more like christmas, even if our wrapping paper was news paper. We danced late into the night and then wen't to bed. It's great because every Christmas I've ever had was spent with my family opening tons of presents and drinking mamosas and having a huge feast later that day. All of that is so great, and I missed it so much during this Christmas, but I do know that I will remember this one forever. I couldn't tell you what I got for Christmas 2 years ago, or 3 years ago, or the conversations we had those days. I know that we go to the nutcracker every christmas eve, and then mass, and then go out to dinner as a family afterwards. I know the next morning we wake up and eat breakfast, and then spend an hour or two opening presents. Then we play with the presents after lunch until grandpa and aunt connie and sometimes her boyfriend come over for dinner. I know there is some middle ground here as well, and a lot of emotion that goes along with it, and I'm not complaining about any of it. It's just that it is always the same, it causes every christmas to cluster together so that you can't tell one from the next. I will always know what I was doing on Christmas of 08' though, I was in Rishikesh, India dancing around a fire with a bunch of people that I barely knew, and it was fantastic.
New Years was basically the same, and was almost a little better because we wen't out to dinner earlier in the night and since we had been there a little longer, we knew each other a little better so it was a bit more personal. We wen't to a great restaurant called little buddah and sat around and ate as late as we could, which was 10 because that's when our ashram gates closed. When we got back to to the ashram they already had another fire blazing with music going, and our only choice was to just dance, no alcohol involved because Rishikesh is alcohol free. It's funny though because if you were an outsider observing what we were doing, you would almost certainly think we were all waisted, but we were just having fun. I used to think that the only way to have fun was through alcohol and girls and drinking games, but that's not fun at all! What fun is doing something that you won't remember doing and while your doing it your not in your right state of mind, so you can't fully experience the moment? Fun is just being yourself and being where ever you are and not thinking about anywhere else. If I have learned one thing while being here, it's how to be happy with the moment you have regardless of how you may try and interpret the moment.
The rest of my time in Rishikesh was spent shopping for some momentos, and doing yoga and really getting to know friends and the cultures they came from. I met a lot of great people and I hope that I come across them again someday. Thats something that has also helped me to learn about inpermanance. Meeting people and getting to know them so well that they become your good friend, and then in the end having to say goodbye to them knowing that there is a chance you will never see them again. There is no reason that you should feel bad about this though, because if you are meant to meet them agian in life then you will and if you aren't then you aren't. What happens happens, and if you just sulk about it all the time then your just trying to fight against the truth. But how in the hell do you fight against the truth? That's like you trying to fight the fact that my name is Colin, you could have a bunch of different reasons on why my name may not be Colin but the fact of the matter is, my name is Colin. I've also learned too that if you can go to India and meet such great people there, then you can go anywhere and continue to meet new, great people all the time. I know when I get back home I will begin to talk to anyone and everyone I meet, because they are all interesting in their own way and exciting to hang out with, and I want to meet them all.
We are now in Delhi and we just completed the Landmark Forum, which basically has the same goal of vapassana meditation by trying to teach you inpermanance and that the only thing that matters in life is "right now" and that is all, but it is MUCH more modern and on an intellectual level instead of experiencal level. I could understand what they were trying to say pretty easily after doing Vapassana meditation, at least I mean I could understand the parts where they spoke in English. Taking the class in Delhi turned out to be a bad idea, regardless of the cost difference between here and America which is almost 300 dollars less expensive. The language barrier was horrrible, and Cami and I were seriously pissed off and wanted our money back and wanted to leave untilt hey set us up in the back with a translator. The Landmark forum is basically as follows. The teacher, Praveen, would just have people come up the the microphone and tell everyone and himself about their problems, then Praveen would tell them tell them they were going about solving it the wrong way by telling them that it was inpermanant and that their life was empty and meaningless, the person would have a little cry and tell Praveen that they had never looked at it that way before and sit back down. Overall the class was rediculous I think and just a giant promotion for the Landmark Forum. They would talk for probably about 3 hours each day about how the landmark forum will change our life and how they need to sign up for the advanced courses and how we need to get other people to enroll in the landmark forum too so they can change their life as well. It was amazing how many people actually bought into their bullshit too. On the last day we were supposed to bring a bunch of people that we wanted to "help" to be talked to. They then split us up from all the people we had brought and tried to pressure us all into joining the lanmark forum advanced course, and I'm sure they did the exact same to the other people and tried to get them to join the beginners course. Shouldn't they be focusing on just trying to change peoples lives? Then the people who had this life changing experience would I'm sure tell everyone about it and the course would speak for itself. Instead they spend hours of precious time that you are paying for trying to tell you how the landmark forum is giong to change your life because it is so great. My sister had a good comparison about how when you go to a doctor for surgery you would rather have the doctor just operate and then have the doctor's work speak for itself. You never want to go to a doctor and have him say, "Oh the work I do here is the best, you won't find better, Now pay me" before they even operate on you! Maybe it is different in the United States, but here in India they are 100% completely obsessed with money and all they talk about is joining again and how much it will cost you. Overall I think the Landmark Forum is a crock of shit and doesn't deserve praise from anyone. If you want to actually EXPERIENCE this same exact thing, do Vapassana meditation. It's actually on an experiencial level instead of intellectual and you only have to pay the amount that you think you gain from it, which is how it should be.
This is just a brief overview of the things that I've been doing in the past month, and there is a lot of middle ground left out that couldn't really be observed because well frankly I've forgotten it. I'm going to try and keep up on writing now so I can actually 100% really capture these experiences that I'm having here, as long as the internet cafe's work well enough. We are heading to a place up north tonight called Maklaught Ganj which is described as a kind of mini nepal and spending 5 days there, then we are going to a place called Amitsar to view "the Golden Temple" for one day and then heading down to Jaisalmer which is in the desert where we'll be doing a camel safari! Our time in India is winding down, but that doesn't mean we can't go out with a bang! I'm not sure if they have internet up where we're going, but if they do I'll be sure to try and get to a cafe to say how things are going!
Peace on earth.
Colin~
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Michael
non-member comment
Landmark Forum is not that bad
Colin, I think your experience in the Landmark Forum has to be a matter of a cultural and language barrier. I did the LF in the Uniteds States and thought it was great. I can't and won't compare it to the meditation you are talking about because I think they are totally different. Some people prefer more experiential approaches to personal growth and I think that is great. The Landmark Forum is much more of a philosphical conversation. I really liked it and would reccomend participating in your own language and culture. Enjoy your journey! Michael