India survival guide

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India survival guide:

1. pack earplugs and plenty of patience

2. don't look anyone in the eyes

3. get used to being the center of attention

4. revealing your knees (women) is unacceptable but hacking/spitting, picking your nose and yelling outside a hotel room at dawn is okay.


We're really outsiders here but like the time we confronted the guy on the bus to Colva who hit his girlfriend, I became personally interested. I needed to help someone look at what it is they're doing and understand why it pisses me off. We're on the train to Darjeeling, near Calcutta. There's a family of five near us, in two seats of course. While I was reading, I picked up some disharmony. I looked up and Mike said, "He just hit his wife." She's being absolutely silent.


My pulse is racing because if I see him try again, I know I'll intervene somehow. But I'm trying hard to find enough compassion for him, as well, so I don't act on rage alone. I suddenly got very sad for the small kids and for her because I think I know most of what she's feeling right now. Shock, for sure. Hurt, too, but the deep hurt you only get when the support you based your reality on turns on you. When someone who has your welfare in their hands has let you down. Disgust. Anger. Shame of having it happen at all. The sense that something's lost is overwhelming. This man cannot be who his family needs him to be.


He's only more despicable right now because he's playing with his son's arm, smiling and fake-punching his daughter in the jaw for their amusement/training(?) His wife has pulled her black-laced wrap around her to withdraw from all those emotions assaulting her, to be alone. Away from him, away from everyone else on the train, to heal herself. Soon enough, there'll be a more comfortable dynamic among her family again but I hope she never forgives him.


"To sink under the weight is but to increase the weight." - Daniel Defoe

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