dec 7, 2009

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It seems to me really appropriate that my first big trip is to India. It seems like a very good place to cut your eye-teeth on. It's definitely both challenging and incredibly incredibly rewarding. I am starting to very much look forward to coming home to Canada, which I have realized that I really do love. It's funny, I never thought I had a shred of nationalism in me except around literature, but...it seems I do. I love our food, I love the cleanliness (something I never thought I would appreciate)...basically I love the things that feel like home.

A friend (who is British) recently said to me that only has she gotten older (she is much older than I am) has she realized how incredibly English she is. I think I am realizing how deeply Canadian I am. I am also learning to think about my life differently. I never think of myself as wealthy in Canada. In fact, I was very distressed when I arrived here because of all the beggars asking me for money. I thought (they've got it all wrong, I'm broke!). I was complaining about how everyone thought I was rich (you really are seen as a walking ATM here) and then I realized that I kind of am. Just by being from the West and living at what is considered a "normal" standard of living, I am wealthy here. A man who was overseeing workers at the monastery told me what the workers were paid: Rs 100/8 hours of breaking rocks. That is $1.50/day for hard physical labour. Now I know that in Canada, construction workers are very well paid (sometimes $12-15/hour), but the comparison blew my mind. I have come to think of my wealth (and by that, I mean accumulated or incoming/outgoing funds) with a completely new perspective. In my eyes, that is a profound discovery.

I am back in the dreaded city of Kolkata and I think it is true that if it were not for this amazing Shakespeare project I am involved in, I would not come back. The general vibe of the city and I do not mesh. (Now Bangkok on the other hand! I could happily live there). I generally do not enjoy going out alone here. I always feel shaken when I do, but I am so lucky to be staying in the house of my hosts. They have been taking such good care of me; it's been brilliant and so lovely. I feel like I have an Indian family. We live (I am staying with them) right above the Shakespeare Society of East India. The house is lined with books, stacks and stacks to the ceiling. I think if you had asked me as a child what a professor's office looked like, i would have described something like this magical space that is the professor's study. he has a desk situated in the middle of a labyrinth of dusty piles of books and the books are my heaven: Shakespeare, Beckett, Ionesco, Brecht, Indian playwrights and poets...It's amazing. There are so many places in the house where I can just pick a spot, turn my head sideways, and get absorbed in the interesting titles.The stacks go up to the ceiling.

I went for a walk a few days ago down to a beautiful park called "the lakes." On the way, a man walked by me while he had his pants open and was masturbating in full view. Shocking. Then, when I got to the park, I saw the most amazing tree. It was enormous and the limbs were very snakelike. When I saw it, I thought to myself "now I understand why there is so much tree worship and images of trees in Indian religion/mythology". The trees here are amazing. they are simultaneously wild, majestic, and otherworldly. I have never seen anything like them. Then, I saw a group of people crowded around a spot at the edge of the lake and I noticed what looked like a diver's flipper splashing at the top of the water (entry on scuba diving to follow). I realized, in fact, that it was a huge fish (probably over 3 feet long and enormously thick) and that there was an entire school of them in the lake. I stood there with everyone watching this school of enormous black fish swim and eat. They were called something like "glasstops." Around the lake, there were hundreds of people doing their morning workout. I saw a lot of yoga (by old men, young women, everyone), which thrilled me and I saw several people (again of all demographics) meditating.

I have spent the past week (I returned to Kolkata Nov 29) mainly working, but I did go to an Indian wedding (the famed Indian wedding!) and it WAS enormous. The most exciting part was that I got to wear a saree (it was dark blue, red and gold) and a bindi. I felt beautiful. I even had a Hollywood stairs moment, where I came down the stairs and one of the men at the bottom said "wow." I was quite sick and so couldn't fully enjoy the wedding, but I had so much fun playing with the children there and looking at everyone's beautiful sarees. Hindu weddings are very ritualistic. they last for three days.

I attended a children's concert a few nights ago. I really should have known better. I was excited by the thought of seeing performances by Nepali and Indian kids, but their name "Rising Stars" really should have tipped me off along with the fact that they were performing in St Paul's Cathedral. It was Christmas songs all over the place. I definitely did not come to India to watch Indian and Nepali kids sing British and American Christian songs. It felt grossly colonial. It was made much much worse in the second half, when they sang Carrie Underwood's "Jesus take the Wheel," the Backstreet Boys' "Christmas Time," and an Eagles Christmas song and I think a Michael Bolton Christmas song. To make it worse, as soon as the concert started, my back started spasming. That lasted the entire concert, but I didn't want to get up and interrupt the whole concert, so I tried to find ways of sitting that were less excruciating. oh yes, AND I had mild food poisoning so I was working to keep everything down. Also, I got the giggles halfway through when I started thinking about people throwing up during performances. I thought of being in a Western opera or play and the person next to you throwing up into a barf bag. For some reason, this still cracks me up. (note: Graeme pointed out that maybe I shouldn't be panning a children's concert, but there you have it; I am a terrible person)

Earlier in the day, I went to a fantastic visual arts show of a modern Indian painter whose work rocked my socks.

Two days ago, I went to a performance of Classical Indian dance. On the floor at the entrance to the theatre, there was a flower-shaped mandala made out of flowers and flower petals. I think I will steal this idea for my own party. Then, the ushers at the door put a red and then a gold spot in the centre of my forehead and gave me fennel with sugar to eat. I asked if they had a program and the usher asked me to follow her. She lead me through the dressing room and backstage, (I was feeling very nervous and very inappropriately located) then she pulled the choreographer away from his dancers to say (to my horror) "this woman would like a program". This was 10 minutes before curtain and I was backstage! He turned to me and said, very excitedly "yes, madam. The program tonight will be....". She then led me back out into the audience over the stage. Horror.

It was great to see the performance though. I loved the hand motions and the way they used their flexed foot so frequently. Also, they danced with their eyes! Eyes went wide, they narrowed, eyebrows bobbed in time to the music conveying a huge range of emotion. Ballet don't know what it's missing.

Today, I finished Love in the Time of Cholera (I loved the style and setting, but not the love focus...too cheesy) and bought a new Murakami book (my obsession-as I have been traveling, I have been devouring Murakami's works).

Also, I am sick. I have known this for a while and I went to the doctor today. It would seem that I have a stomach virus. I never knew how much I hated oral rehydration salts before I left Canada. I kind of had a feeling that I would get sick again before I left. Last hurrah against my immune system? I hope so, but we'll see.

I will write a retrospective entry in Thailand soon.

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