Change of Plans

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‘The time is now’; a pearl of wisdom grooved by Moloko and a doctrine which lies very close to my heart, though doesn’t always sit so well in my head. Last week head and heart were united in their conviction and so I ‘gave myself unto the moment’. What I’m leading up to telling you in my typically convoluted way, is that I‘ve finally quit my placement. I won’t go on again about why, I’m sure I’ve written more than enough about the problems I’ve been facing. I’ve now given the additional month that I promised VSO last time I considered leaving, and still I’ve discovered no new ways forward. I’m half-way through my placement and still dont see any sustainable impact that I can have. Ultimately, it’s been a completely amazing 6 months and I wouldn’t have swapped it for anything, however challenging it has been at various points. I’m pleased to say that I’m making this decision with happiness in my heart as I am now absolutely sure that it is the right one. I am of course still disappointed, but resolute. So, my last day at BNP+ will be Thursday 25th Sept. I’m actually going to stay in Kolkata until mid-October, primarily because it’s Durga Puja (Bengal’s biggest festival), but also because I’ll need time to organise visas and permits for the holidaying that’ll happen immediately after that. All I’m sure of is that I’ll be heading off to Bangladesh in October and then for some anodyne scenery in Sikkim, beyond that is left to my capriciousness. At this point I’m thinking about coming back to the UK in January, primarily because if I leave it any later, VSO will only pay a contribution to my flight home rather than the full cost. Money may well in fact become a crushingly restrictive issue, but the time is now as so in the meantime I’m going to lap up every drop of joy the sub-continent has to offer. By the way, I know a few of you were thinking of coming over if I’d stayed on… if anyone is thinking of escaping the impending Winter and you’d like to join me for some gratuitous gadding during the coming months instead, then that would be fantastic. I can be completely flexible with timings and destinations, so let me know.

Interestingly, Rose has also decided to leave BNP+. She is 18 months into a 2 year placement, but still feels that there are too many barriers to her being effective in the remaining months. We decided that it was important to express our concerns about BNP+ as clearly and strongly as possible, but sadly, selective hearing is an art form in our office. In the end we gave notice together in an attempt to overwhelm our president into realising there was in fact a serious issue going on. In reality, he gave the impression that his only concern was that he’d lose a connection to VSO as a funding stream. Anyway, the timing of our resignation was pretty good for us, as we left the office immediately after that meeting and headed off on holiday.

We went down to Orissa State for the weekend, something we’d been looking forward to for weeks, as loads of VSOs were getting together to say goodbye to those who were leaving. On that Friday afternoon however, it began to look very likely that we were not going be able to go after all. I’ve been checking out BBC News recently to catch up with what news you may be getting about India and have noticed two main stories in the past couple of weeks. The devastating floods in Bihar - one of our neighbouring states, and the religious violence in Orissa - another of our neighbouring states. West Bengal is not directly impacted by either situation, but clearly our holiday to Orissa was looking sketchy. VSO called us on the afternoon before our train departed suggesting that we didn’t go. Other VSOs living in rural Orissa had been told not to go and indeed many had been confined to their homes for days and two in fact had been evacuated. The situation in Orissa is basically that an Octogenarian Hindi Swami (along the lines of a priest) and four of his followers were murdered. It is still unclear who killed them, but rumours began very swiftly that it was a Christian sect that was responsible, as this particular Swami is known for his anti-Christian preachings. There then followed a series of horrific retaliation murders, one of which was of a White missionary. I imagine that it was her murder that was the reason for it reaching UK news. So the message was that, as White people we could be mistaken for Christians and thus are at risk in Orissa. The point however was that this is not about tourists, all the people who were murdered were working for Christian organisations and spreading the Christian doctrine, they were also in the rural West. We on the other hand, were heading to the touristy East of the State and not going anywhere near the rural epicentre of the violence and so felt quite aggrieved, especially having already had to cancel our Darjeeling trip due to violence only two weeks previously. In the end, having talked further to volunteers in Orissa and to VSO we decided that we’d be completely safe and hopped the train. I’m so glad we did as it was a much needed and utterly wonderful weekend. In Bhubaneshwar, the only sign of the troubles were the charred tarmac stains where tyres had burned during a solidarity march the week before. Bhubaneshwar, the State’s capital, is a very wealthy modern city and really the Rupee is king, so sadly a few lives going a stray hardly registered on the scale.

I stayed at my friend Peta’s flat for the weekend. She’s one of the volunteers on the training with me in Delhi. On the Saturday, we used our morning lassitude to good effect by drinking tea and talking incessantly. By the afternoon however, Peta had gone to work and so I set off to explore. I went to Dhauli, a gorgeous place nestled in the rice and cashew plantations that surround the city. After 3km of the most idyllically peaceful walking I arrived at the Peace Stupa; where ironically, it was a little less than peaceful, but beautiful nevertheless, if only for the views over the surrounding countryside. One of my favourite things about being there was actually the bats that had made their home under the building’s eaves. I’d never before been so close to such a massive colony of bats; I’m thinking many tens of thousands of them, all screeching and pooing with great fervour. I thought bats were supposed to be noctural, but not this lot. The noise they created as they jostled for prime locations was captivating; the guano pile beneath them was less so. Saturday evening was the leaving party and much merriment ensued. Enough said really.

The next day was really special; four of us went out to Puri, a seaside town about 2 hours away. It’s also the most southerly point of the classic hippy trail, but the recent violence had driven tourism into a deep hole which left us to enjoy the place in almost complete peace and comfort. After a 2 hour lunch at a very funky little café, we were lucky enough to arrive at the beach during the late afternoon, just as the fishing fleets were coming to shore. The whole fishing community had come out to greet their men folk. After the boats had been carried up on to the beach with more than a little physical effort, the women would ‘sort’ their worryingly meagre catches - often this seemed to involve skinning eels - not a pretty sight. The other main catches were cat-fish and absolutely massive prawns. After about an hour, having negotiated the fishing frenzy, we finally arrived at a haven of calm at the other end of the beach, generously far from the community and their inquisitive eyes. That beach is utterly phenomenal. Finally I’d found that Indian tropical idle that posters are made of. We spent the next frolicsome hour or so, swimming in the Bay of Bengal and diving through the ever-mounting waves as the sun gave way to an increasingly compelling moon. As the sun set, the sea lit up and we could do little but stare and overuse the wholly inadequate phrase ‘that is SO beautiful’. It wasn’t long before the waves sprung from hillocks to mountains, thus we heeded Neptune’s warning and made an opportune exit. Our evening that day, as with every evening in Bhuba, was filled with great food and great company, but also with a powerful sense of happiness and rejuvenation. I’m convinced that not all of the Sea’s powers are as physical as those waves.

My final day in Bhuba was always going to be lovely because I’d taken it as annual leave from work, but it proved to be so much more than that. I went to Konark; a place I’d never heard of before. It’s only a tiny village really, but is host to a very special World Heritage Site. In fact the village exists only for its Sun Temple which attracts huge numbers of visitors from around the World.

Sat on the minibus on the way to Konark, I was struck by the convex mirror that was situated above the driver’s head. The mirror was not revolutionary, but the reflection was fascinating. The reflection I saw was not of rows of bored commuters, of my position in this society. I was the only White person on the bus and despite the fragile tan that I’ve been gently nurturing, I stood out further than any sore thumb. It is by no means rare that I’m the only White person in my vicinity, but I’d just been reading the novel ‘Small Island’ by Andrea Levy and so I was already thinking about race and racism. Was it not on a bus that Rosa Parks made her stand (by sitting!) against segregation in the States? Thinking of that bus and of the bus on which I was travelling, the world suddenly became even more inexplicable. I too was from a minority race, I too am treated as ‘different’, but where Rosa Parks fought for her seat with every bit of her soul, I was given mine by a kind man who decided a white person couldn’t possibly cope with standing for two hours in the Indian heat. While Rosa Parks had to raise her voice over that of a whole country to be heard, I’m desperately shrinking in to myself longing to be ignored. I know a lot of years have gone by, but the situation in the West has surely changed very little below the surface. Meanwhile, as a White person in India, I experience something close to reverence. People want to know everything about me, always sit next to me, always want me to shop at their shop, always assume everything I say is the only truth. Slightly different from Rosa Parks‘ experience of being a racial minority. I’m struggling to make sense of that. At the Temple in Konark, a family literally thrust their dissenting young child into my arms at the temple gates and walked away muttering about photographs. Dumbstruck, I tried to placate the distressed child while Mum and Dad spent ten minutes searching for the perfect angle. Requests for ‘photos with the White man’ are daily experiences whilst being a tourist, but being given a child for the purpose took me by surprise. I think this happened at the Taj Mahal as well, but it’s hardly the norm. I wonder whether the same parents would trust any local stranger with the welfare of their child so unquestionably? That mirror had me trying to imagine this situation happening in the UK, but where the skin colours of all the characters were swapped. Why does that seem so unbelievable? I found myself squirming under the pressure of the position I am given by the esteem of those around me, and then managed to bring myself back out of the clouds to acknowledge that of course this view of White people is not universal, and like anywhere else, ultimately regardless of skin colour genuine respect needs earning. It seems however, that when you’re White you’re given a head start, not a revelation, but to experience that first hand has been powerful. Interesting for me to have this conversation with myself knowing that, for much of Europe our ancestral origins are here in India. From this, ‘what went wrong?’ questions sprung to mind and painfully obvious answers followed.

Konark’s Sun Temple is often listed up there with the Taj Mahal as one of India’s wonders. This being said, it just doesn’t have the immense energy and presence that the Taj has for example. However, spend a little longer there as I did and it starts to come alive. The temple was conceived as a house of worship for the Sun goddess Surya and for some reason, it is adorned with literally thousands of intricate carvings of sexual shenanigans - it seems that the whole of the Karma Sutra is depicted with an impressive degree of thoroughness. It’s fascinating to see huge packs of exclusively Indian men touring a building that would normally attract only tourists, families and couples. They gather round each carving; pointing, giggling and looking at each other in amazement. I’m sure there’s all sorts of provado, but I reckon a few ideas might be taken away too. This from a cultural that was a bastion of sexual liberation for centuries. More ‘what went wrong?’ questions; yet another regressive legacy of Empire I guess. Anyway, back to the temple… indeed I went back again and again. I kept going to sit under a tree to read my book or just wander off, but I wasn’t ready to leave. Each time I returned I noticed something else, something of the intense passion with which this building was crafted. Sadly, the building was is disrepair some years ago and so in order to stop it falling in on itself, they’ve completely filled in the main chamber, but even walking round the temple is enough to share in its glorious history.

On the final evening in Bhuba, Peta and I met some other VSOs for a meal at the Hare Krishna restaurant in town before I jumped on my train. I had such an amazing weekend, not just for the things I did and the people I saw, but also for the mental space I found. I also realised that I’m definitely going to miss many of the lovely people here and indeed for the first time, I started suspecting that I may even miss the whole idea of living in India - now there’s a turn up!

Anyway, that’s it for now. Do bare in mind that I’ll be moving out of my flat on the weekend of the 11th October, and that not only does the post take some time to arrive, but also there are 6 days of public holiday preceding that weekend. If you are gorgeous enough to be writing to me, you may not want to send it any later than the 19th/20th Sept. I believe my mobile phone will still be working when I leave Kolkata, but don’t rely on that. I reckon in January I’ll be available as a housemate/tenant, employee/colleague, boyfriend/lover; so any offers/proposals will be welcomed. Might as well get the ball rolling!

Ok, enough. I hope all is rosy in your worlds and that you’re feeling strong enough to cope if it is isn’t. Stay well lovely people. xxx

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Photos

Ashoka's Edicts
This elephant sculpture is also at Dhauli and admittedly is not so impressive until you know that it is thousands of years old.

Durga in production
I watched this guy for some time as he intricately carved this statue of Durga from a single piece of rock.

Liz and Geri
A photo from the leaving party. Aren't they gorgeous!

Bringing in the fishing boats
This was one of the first to come ashore. The boats ended up literally filling the entire beach.

Puri Beach
Wow!

Lunch in Puri
Rose, Geri and Michelle after our very lazy lunch.

Sun Temple
I know it doesn't look hugely impressive in this picture - I'm afraid thats my bad photography. Believe me, it's amazing.

Erotic Carvings
I've gone for discretion and taken them from a distance! This picture does however give an impression of just how intricate and detailed the walls are. The entire temple is covered in these carvings.

Industrial God
On Sept 17th there's a Puja for the Industrial God, but aparently we dont get a day off work so I'm not so bothered... hehe! Anyway, this is he. Indeed, many of 'he'. No idea what his name is I'm afraid.

Ganesh
I only include this as I love the fact that nearly all Hindu Gods have fat bellies and Ganesh is the ultimate example. I believe he's supposed to have the whole world in his stomach so that might explain some of those extra pounds!

BNP+'s 4th Birthday
A random picture of a few of my colleagues tucking into birthday cake.

Comments

[latinocappuccinos]

Strong boy!
Well done Mr Harry, you made the right move. This is because you put so much thought and care into your choice. Your good ethics and way of looking at the world as come through and shone, which makes you a very strong boy. I am sure the 6 months you contruibted towards the work at BNP was very helpful. I agree with how you feel about lasting sustanability. This is the underlying fustration of all "social work" and a constant issue (funding, polictic climate etc) and when your head and heart are feeling this I guess this affects the work. I guess to cut along story short you have done the right thing and enjoy the rest of your time. You know your welcome to join us, anytime. By the way we are back Feb 2nd and will be looking for a house. You are more than welcome to stay with us for a few weeks. Well Mr take care, stay strong, happy and all my love. Paulo x Big hug from Andy x