Photo Fest

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I was back at Government HQ again today, applying for a Visa Extension. There was something bigger in this for me, something about declaring an intention to stay here in India for many months to come yet. I’m continuing to have numerous days in which I convince myself that the only thing for it is to return to the UK, the explanation is something along the lines of… well I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. Of course there are a multitude of holes in that line of thinking and so I’m soon able to shake that off for a few hours until the next mini crisis sets in. My first visa extension is due to run out on August 18th, by which point I’ll have been in country for 5 months. So there I am sat in the anonymous corridors of the 7th floor of government towers pondering the question, what is the likelihood of feeling settled by August 18th? Am I really going to feel up to continuing until the end of my placement? Ultimately it’s a futile question and really I just have to go with how I feel - at the moment I have the stubbornness and determination to embrace the whole experience however ‘challenging’ - I just hope that lasts. My friend Rachel posed an interesting question the other day though, at what point does being adaptable, flexible and resilient in the face of adversity cross over in to fruitless suffering? Both of us feel perilously close to falling over this edge. Anyway, back in the Government labyrinth, amongst the colossal mountains of feathered papers which groan under the weight of 60 years of post Independence dust, I am relieved to meet the ‘Woman who nods’, the only member of staff in the whole unit that exhibits any glimmer of humanity. She is pretty familiar to me now, this is the fifth afternoon I’ve taken off work to spend in her company. As with the previous visits, I ended up being sent away to accumulate further pieces of evidence and to fill in more forms. Unlike the previous visits however, I found myself resigned to this destiny before even entering the building and thus accepting it with a smile and I even quite enjoyed seeing her nod again - when you get nothing else, the nod counts for a lot! It seems I am making progress after all, maybe I am settling in; maybe I am learning the ways of India? I do hope so - I won’t necessarily be any more comfortable as a result, but I’ll certainly manage the disappointment with less emotional damage.

As the last blog I wrote was very much a specific story, this time you’re getting an eclectic mix of random bits of my life. The thing is with my life, well one of them - things not lives!-, is that its hard work, very, but I really like that. It feels right. At the moment, the endless battle against the monsoon is keeping me busy - things are growing mold quicker than I can wash it off, my hall-way floods occasionally which needs some major cleaning, I’m getting sick lots as its perfect conditions for germs, the cats that have taken shelter under my porch keep bringing me a few unwelcome gifts like cat poo, chicken legs and rats (small ones thankfully), I regularly have half a tree or other debris in my yard, my pot plants have been blown on the floor and smashed with worrying regularity - I can’t move them as it’s the only spot they get sunshine, and these are just the extra tasks. Along with the drains, the sweeping, the laundry and all the other ness I’ve already told you about, generally I find that each day I go home there’s a new something to fix, sort or clean. My landlady is still keen for me to take on her servant, but I’m afraid I just can’t have a servant, it’s utterly wrong in my head. I’ve heard the argument that having a servant is actually the ethical thing to do as you’re providing them with a job, but that doesn’t make it ok. You’re still perpetuating an unhealthy power dynamic. There must be solutions that are about empowering people rather than using them. I know I’m an idealist, but I figure that if you don’t work towards an ideal, the default option will be a move away from it.

This domestic chore mountain is one of many similarities I’ve noticed recently with my life on the Shrew, another classic being the endless problems with water and sanitation, unfortunately however, I’m not in love with my home here like I was on the water and I’m not in love with the lifestyle. The pleasure pain balance has tipped out of my favour.

Another thing I’m finding hard work, but am also enjoying is trying to strengthen my friendships here. I don’t think I’d realised just how culturally specific the whole notion of friendship is. I think I make a very disappointing friend to people here as I like moments away from them in order to have my own space - a very alien concept to Indians. Having said that, I have made a new mate Asiph who lives on my block. He’s a really good guy and we have some good chats, he’s pretty negative about Indian-ness which is a shame but this is a common middle-class trait here, nevertheless we generally click really well. Until he had an accident, he was a successful professional jockey which I think is very cool. He’s currently trying to reignite my Bengali learning - good luck to him! The other day Asiph told me a fascinating, but very disturbing story. He was wandering around our neighbourhood a couple of weeks ago when he heard crying and a general commotion. He arrived at its source, in the grounds of the house opposite mine. When he arrived he found a naked woman walking towards him with emblazoned skin. Apparently she was remarkably calm and subdued considering the circumstances which understandably confused the situation rather. As he thought for that split second he watched layers of skin blister, char and peal from her body, he then saw the woman’s 2 year old daughter sat on the door step silenced by the exhaustion of her crying. Eventually, with the help of some other people, the woman was doused and the emergency services came, but she later died in hospital. It was only after the emergency services arrived that Asiph found out what had happened. Apparently the woman’s husband had been having an affair and embroiled in her shame, she had decided that her only option was to set herself alight - I reckon that says a few things about gender roles in this country. The poor child is now living with grandparents as her father is now in prison. Disturbingly, these things are still everyday occurrences in India; you can read about numerous similar stories in the paper. Another interesting insight for me was that the most salient point of this story for Asiph was not about the tragedy or trauma of it all, maybe you grow numb to the normality of it, rather he spent a great deal of effort reinforcing the fact that the woman he saw was in fact naked; he saw a naked women; yes, the women he saw was in indeed completely without clothing. Clearly he’s a grown man, somewhere in his twenties, but never before had he seen so much feminine flesh. And this from quite an ‘alternative’ guy who’s definitely already had a couple of girlfriends on the sly. This is another cultural nuance that we’ve chatted about a lot since.

Asiph was actually key to another story I want to tell you, not nearly as dramatic this one, but it has had a more profound impact on me. We were chilling out at my house the other day when, as always, my landlady poked her nose through the bars in my window - this time though, I was initially pleased to see her as she had a parcel for me. I went around to the front door to collect it from her. As I did so, she accosted me with aggressive whispers and violent gesticulations. Basically she was saying; who is this guy? he’s a bad man, he’ll be trouble, get him out of here. I was pretty shocked needless to say and more than a little upset. Unsure what to say at that moment, I thought I should leave her with her angry and revisit it another time. On my way back around to the room where we’d been chatting, I could hear my landlady’s evil spiky voice ranting in Bengali. I got back to the room to find Asiph literally stunned - she’d been back at the window giving him an ear full. After she’d gone, he told me that she had said to him that he should never come around again and that if anything happened to me it would be his fault; basically it was a tirade of unfounded abuse. What’s mad is, she doesn’t even know the guy. This I now realise is part of the point. She hates me knowing someone she doesn’t, she’s absolutely queen bee around here, or thinks she is anyway, and is suspicious of anyone for whom she doesn’t have an intimate knowledge of their family history. Ultimately of course, she’s a bitch and shouldn’t be graced with any lighter term. How dare she! Moving flats is definitely a possibility; watch this space, though it won’t be for at least a month yet as I’d have to give notice.

Finally I’ve managed to get myself out into the countryside of West Bengal. I went on a couple of exposure visits to our district level networks as they were hosting advocacy meetings to talk about the how to get the HIV Bill tabled in Parliament. I’m now at the point with my Bengali that I can actually pick up the gist of a conversation when concentrating hard. Sadly, though after the first hour I was exhausted and the rest went over my head. They seemed to be pretty successful meetings though. The meetings were in Burdwan which is a relatively big town, and Krishnagar which is pretty small though gets a lot of visitors. My new Bengal fact this week is that it’s the homeland of Krishna worship. There are apparently more Krishna devotees in the States than anywhere else in the world, but it was here in Krishnagar that the word was first spread and it is in Kolkata that you’ll find the world’s largest Krishna temple. My other Krishna fact is that Krishna worship is a branch of the Hindu faith which is completely news to me. Krishna is actually an Avatar; one of the Hindu God Vishnu’s incarnations on earth. In fact I think his only earthly incarnation, but don’t quote me on that. As for Burdwan, no new learning there, but very excited to be in a town with seemingly very little pollution. It’s easy to forget how much pollution I’m passing through my lungs everyday until you get out of the city and take a deep breath. I actually really liked Burdwan, it felt comfortable and at ease with itself somehow.

So, also work related, I actually had fun at work the other day! I’ve been struggling to get anyone to translate my work into Bengali as of course people prioritise their own work, so I thought if I could get our volunteer to translate, then maybe I could type it up - the volunteer is not able to use computers. This is all very well, but as you might imagine, it’s not quite that simple. Bengali’s use the same keyboards as we do and so their Sanskrit characters have to be mapped on to our letters, they also have 3 times more characters than we have letters. We have a Bangla version of Word on the system which helps, but still, for every character you recognise and can find on the keyboard through a process of phonetics and the Help function, there are two or three others you can’t. Clearly it was also an extraordinarily slow process! I loved having a go though and it was great for my Bangla. One of the tricky things is that some letters have numerous forms depending on their location in a word, having discovered this; I soon gave up on that idea.

I’m sorry that you’ve had a couple of photoless blogs recently; I’m making up for it in this one as I’ve finally got some pictures of Thakurpukur. Today is a festival here and as such charging about the place and thrusting a camera in people’s faces seems less bizarre than it otherwise might. We had our daily powercut at the very civilised time of 10am this morning and so I made the most of it and went roaming. A few of the shots here are actually Rose’s as she’s a better photographer and much less embarrassed about ‘getting in there’. The festival is called Rath Yatri, it’s predominantly celebrated in Orissa, but as it happens, it seems the only place in Kolkata where they celebrate it is pretty much outside our front door! The festival is to celebrate the fact that the Orissan God Jaganath and his brother and sister go on holiday during this same week every year. More than this, it’s to celebrate the fact that they stays at his Aunt’s house for the duration of this holiday and then, on their return, they stop off at a sweet shop. How’s that for a specific holiday? So Friday night they were off on holiday, and then we get to celebrate again this Friday when they return. Rose is going to Orissa to celebrate properly. The celebration here is basically a very large market with music, impromptu temples, the most phenomenal array of sweets and a scary amount of people - its also good fun.

Well I reckon that’s enough from me for now, I hope its not too painful reading these blogs. I really appreciate you getting this far and keeping up with my news, however difficult it might sometimes be. Thank you for all your continued post, it’s lovely to hear from you all. By the way, I finally have a mobile phone and a gas supply! The mobile number is the same one I emailed to you all before. The gas supply is private and thus ridiculously expensive, but I couldn’t hold out any longer. I made my first cup of tea today, oh the joy! Love you all lots, Stuart. xx

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Photos

Bakrahat Road
This is a quiet time without buses and lorries!

The Much Neglected Tram
It comes down the main road from Behala so would be pretty convenient and cheap if it wasn't prone to regular de-railings!

They may not look much...
These buses are up there in my top three of things I love about Kolkata. They're wooden framed and so completey beautiful inside. They'd make a gorgeous home! The flower chains are ubiquitous as they are taken to temples as offerings.

Pann Shop
Pann is the name given to the leaves that you can just see on the counter. They are rolled up and stuffed with a whole concoction of plants, spices, and unidentifiable chemicals. They are then chewed and spat out everywhere - delightful. They're hugely popular.

Ration Shop
Another common sight on Bakrahat Road. This is the positive face of communism here. Many people are given ration cards which entitles them to cheap basic food stuffs from these stores. A great system which does a reasonable job of removing absolute poverty.

Misty (Sweets) Shop
Bengal is famous for many things, its sweet tooth is not least among them. Personally I find these sweets pretty sickly and unpalatable, but they're eaten constantly - hence everyone's pot-bellies I guess!

The Spice Man
Not such a great shot, but it' a classic Indian Image I think.

Jack Fruit Wallah
These massive bulbous things are Jack Fruit, inside they are bright yellow and full of upto 100 fruits in each Bulb.

Coconut Juice
It's the milk, though not as you know it! It's actually a completely different variety of coconut than we're used to and it's milk is translucent, but tastes of coconut all the same is is really refreshing.

Unfamiliar Veggies
Of course there are massive of interesting veggies in the market. If I showed you them all it'd be very tedious. I include this pic as the purple bulbs at the front are the Banana Flowers I wrote about in the last blog.

The Butcherous Streets
I really wanted to include a shot of the utter grim slaughter houses, but I couldn't bring myself to take one, and neither could Rose - a meat eater! I reckon that the fact that this guy makes a good living sums up my point without the need for graphics!

Behind The Scenes
It's not all smelling of Roses!

Rath Yatri
These are mountains of sweets that are of a particular kind only eaten during the festival - and eaten in great quantities!

Jagannath
The guy on the right is the collest god out there. I think he's great - Do you not agree that he's a bit 'South Park'? Its his holiday we've been celebrating. He's pictured with his brother and little sister.