woken by with mantras and bells...

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I was awoken today in my hotel by the ubiquitous ringing of bells and mantra chanting. Laying in my bed, my good old stolen British airways blanket draped over me to protect me from frosty morning air I had to smile... not so many places in the world where you are woken up this way. I am starting to recognise many of the mantras, often find myself subconsciously humming them. Yesterday in our final ceremony at the Phool Chatti ashram where I stayed for the past week, we chanted one of them 108 times, sitting around a small fire, each with a little dish of seven different types of sacred wood shavings which we took a pinch of (using only middle, third finger and thumb - important, although not sure why) and threw in the fire at the end of each rendition of the mantra. 108 times. Phew.

I had got some good practise over the week though. Our day started at 5:30 am with the banging of a gong - 15 minutes later I would be huddled, cross legged in a blanket in the meditation room for 45 minutes of meditation... which honestly, I really enjoyed. Every now and again I would open my eyes and observe the day gradually changing from dark to light, the sound of the Ganges flowing ever present in the background ... they say that by getting up before sunrise and meditating every day you are programming your subconscious mind to tap into going from darkness to light - which is quite a beautiful concept. This was followed by 15 minutes of mantra chanting and then the best part of the morning - internal cleansing! We would all trundle down to the gardens in silence, blankets and shawls wrapped around us, clutching our little plastic netti pots and queueing up to get them filled with warm salty water. Then, squatting on one of the stone benches we insert the spout into a nostril and tipping our heads, allowing the water to go up one nostril and out the other and then change nostrils. This was followed by a multi-tonal symphony of communal nose blowing. Back up the path we marched back into the meditation room for our pranayama practises which consisted of about 8 rounds of kapalabhati (insane) followed by alternate nostril breathing followed by bhramari - the honey bee breath. All this before 7am! Time for two hours of yoga before a greatly anticipated and sorely needed breakfast of porridge and banana. After an hour of free time we then went on a 2 hour long contemplative walk, which was meant to be silent but because our group was rather sociable and chatty there was very little silence in reality throughout the week. After a lunch of rice, dahl, vegetable curry and chapattis we had an hour long lecture focusing on Patanjalis 8 limbs of yoga, given to us by Guru Sant-Gi, an American Sikh with a large white turban (which I got to help him put on one day after he washed his hair - 5.5 meters of white fabric that needs to be carefully folded and then wound around the head, over the bun of hair which is to be twisted over the crown chakra as hair according to Sikhs contains a lot of energy and if you twist it into a bun over your crown chakra it can act as a channel for energy) who would speak about God and universal and supreme consciousness etc whilst stroking his long greying beard that he hadn't cut in over 30 years. After the lecture there was another 2 hours of yoga followed by a nightly sunset fire puja in the ashram temple (much bell ringing, which caused the ashram dogs to howl with all their might as though wanting to contribute as well and then the swami inviting everyone to take some of the light from the little lit oil lamps) and finally a nightly kirtan involving drums and bells and other percussion instruments and mantra chanting before a dinner of rice, vegetable curry, dahl and chapattis. (Right now, I feel like I don't ever want to eat rice and dahl ever, ever EVER again. I would mentally lust over melted cheese and freshly squeezed fruit juice and fresh pastries. The first thing I did when I left was have a cup of coffee and a slice of cake. And then later a huge pizza. After which I had to lay down, feeling rather crapulent. )The day ended with 45 minutes of guided meditation - always a different kind, one day a loving kindness meta bhavana meditation, one day mindfulness of breathing etc.

Although the yoga lessons were astonishingly awful (the same, identical, uninspired practise twice a day by a teacher who looked utterly uninspired by life) I really enjoyed the week... I also did a reiki practise on my own every day, skipped the yoga classes frequently and did my own practise, absorbed all the stillness and peace of the mountains and forests and water around me and by the end felt truly sparkling. And very different from how I first felt a month ago when I arrived here.

It feels like whenever we interact with the world around us, whether it be talking to people, thinking about someone or something or even watching TV, we are projecting our energy outside of ourselves, which can lead to imbalance, a feeling of being fragmented or depleted... meditative activities such as yoga or reiki or pranayama or mindfulness of breathing are ways to draw energy back inside ourselves and find balance again. But how little in life we really do this! I have become acutely aware of this process though and it feels like such a luxury, such an amazing gift to myself to have these 7 months to focus on me, to be good to myself, to learn how to find balance. I get so happy and excited when I think about this! It feels in a way as though I am (without really consciously realising until now) giving myself this period to both rest before taking on my next big project in the future, (whatever it may be) and really focus on my awakening, becoming more fulfilled in my true potential as a conscious being...as this will be important for whatever path the universe puts my way.

Just had special telegram from Adam saying he is coming to Rishikesh! Hooray for unexpected visits from friends and being able to indulge in freshly baked pastries again and steaming mugs of coffee again and for feeling connected and being able to swim in the crystal clear Ganges and stroke cows and do moon meditations. Woot!

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