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Published: November 1st 2008
It feels like the past month has been a kind of introduction to my real trip, which starts now with my arrival in Rishikesh. Yesterday I said my goodbyes to Adam after a month of travelling together and got on a 20 hour train to Haridwar, then a one hour bus to Rishikesh.
To be honest, I have not really enjoyed the past month so much... although it has had it's moments, travelling for travellings sake turned out to be something I actually haven't been drawn to at this point in time and so feel so relieved to finally be able to stay put in a place and focus on something.
I am constantly trying to be aware of myself labelling all my experiences and everything I encounter as 'good' or 'bad' and judging everything...and so have been feeling like I am battling a lot of the time because India is a place where I am constantly encountering things I do not like, that I judge as bad. I tell myself if I was more enlightened I would be loving everything... which is stupid. Everyone has preferences. I do not like noise (he he, I walked around Varansi with ear plugs in during Diwali what with my phobia of sudden loud noises with all the fire crackers), I will not wipe my ass with my hand no matter how long I live in this country (I remember thinking when I was here and 18 years old and much more flexible and less settled in my opinions that anyone who refuses to wipe their ass with their hand is stuck up an narrow-minded), I do not like traffic, I do not like to be hassled, it upsets me to see women subservient to men, it upsets me to see violence towards women eroticized in Bollywood movies etc etc
But one thing I have been reminded of over the past month is that no matter how much shit you are surrounded by there are always nuggets of gold... and so as well as getting exhausted and overwhelmed and repelled by constant noise, noise, noise, being harassed, pollution, poverty and dealing with the myriad of infuriating traits that so many Indian people possess there have been many pockets of gold, little moments, bigger moments that make everything worthwhile...a conversation over chai with a shop owner in Puri... riding on the back of a moped with Adam through a narrow street we pass a young girl on a tight rope, balancing a large vase on her head, our eyes meet for a fleeting moment and she gives me the most dazzling smile...eating a home made meal at Nandan's house, our couch surfing friend in Varanasi for Diwali - stuffed parathas, rich lumps of paneer in spinach, rice with cashew nuts and raisins, spiced rice pudding...going to a library in Puri which looks like it stopped in time in the 1920's when it was built and browsing ancient, dusty book-worm infested books with titles like 'cooperation at home and abroad' and 'good governing in the dominions'...spliffs of the finest Minali Cream on the ghats of the Ganges in Varanasi...a market outside the temple in Puri: the hustle and bustle of every day life with stalls selling fruit and vegetables, sweets wrapped in real silver leaf, black cast iron pots deep frying snacks, incense and other items for religious ceremonies, beggars, sadhus, everything a myriad of beautiful colours and smells...outside a Jain temple in Sarnath the attendant explains Jain philosophy to us and describes how a male peacock cries a single tear and the female becomes pregnant by ingesting his tear - they have no sexual contact and like peacocks, humans should conserve their sexual energy...
lighting a candle for my sister on a boat outside a temple, decorated with hundreds of tiny little myriad on the Ganges watching it drift away... watching Adam get a cut throat shave on the Ganges and then extensive massage involving much bum groping and then observing Indians' reactions to his newly acquired facial hairstyle with every day people stopping him the street and telling him how much they like it, he looks powerful etc.
I don't think there's many people I could spend 24 hours a day with and and still love them at the end and it turns out Adam is one of them. Feel excited to be on my own though coz I have really felt like Adam kinda took me under his wing and now it's time for me to do my thang and so here I am in Rishikesh where the air is gloriously fresh and the fast-flowing Ganges water looks a world away from the polluted, toxic stew of Varanasi and I am excited because... it feels like this could definitely be home for the next month. Woot!
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neenanooos n steevooos
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missing you
WE KNOW YOU COULD SPEND 24HRS WITH US! octopui n all! we miss you ruby. dancing in the corner with you, your friends Neena n Steve xxx