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Published: January 31st 2006
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Our Driver Ram
This is our van driver, listening to Ryan's i-pod. This man held our lives in his hands for five weeks, and he was masterful in many near-miss situations. (We were told) He made the equivalent of 150 American dollars for five weeks. We doubled his salary with $150 in tips...a worthy investment! Hi All!
They shipped us off to a small Rotary Club in a small town about two hours outside of Pondy today. The roads were miserable and we seemed to have many near misses...I'm tired of coming within inches of having head-on collisions...sometimes I'm numb and sometimes I scream....mostly I just don't watch the road anymore...except when Mike or Ryan whisper "holy !" I keep telling them to stop that cuz I just don't want to know...if it is our time, it is our time.
However, we also have a great and gifted driver (who has now been with us every day for almost five weeks)...we've been traveling around the country in a van. He has become a friend and we bring him in to eat with us and ask for beds for him to sleep in (drivers sleep in their vehicles here). People indulge us, but I can tell they think it is weird. Yet he has become one of our closest friends...even with his limited English and the language barriers. It is very cute, Ram (pronounced "Rawm") listens to Ryan's i-pod most days now...he is particularly fond of "Corn"...for such an understated and sweet guy, we think it
Mike, Mags & Me in the Van
A typical scene over the 5 weeks in India...us in our van. Even when we wore westernish clothing, we women wore bindees on our foreheads each day. It looks weird to see myself without one. is funny that he enjoys hard rock.
Our lunch today was traditional Indian fare out of ladels, which they said had "no spice." It was (as usual) outrageously spicy...and after two days of having Western food, particularly hard to stomach. However, I must say that it worked for me...I've been constipated for three days...so the upset stomach cleared that up. This may seem like too much info (and I apologize if it seems gross), but this stuff has become regular conversation for us. I'll leave everyone else's out, and just say once again (like in a previous blog) that I'm not sure if my poo will ever be the same again...seems like it is one extreme or the other...I'm looking forward to the normality of my real life in so many ways.
Yet I will miss the people here...we've made such good friends. And I'll miss the adventure. I feel very blessed on so many fronts...and I'm completely present to how fortunate and blessed I am to live the life I live--I have taken so much for granted! I think everything happens for a reason and we are all guided (at least that is true for me)...I'm making a point of listening so I'll hear what the universe is saying, even (or especially) thru my complaints and discomfort. I think that I'm growing more than I know...and I can't wait to find out what all of this means for me and the world...and what there is to create!
I'll be home this time next week...yay! Looking forward to seeing you all...and meeting those of you that I haven't yet met, but who are following my blog. As usual, all of your comments and questions are wonderful. You take away a bit of the homesickness, make me smile and I feel lucky to have all of you in my world--in whatever way you are! Love to you.
PS: Dan, to answer your question, there aren't single women here. Once a women is in her twenties, a marriage is arranged. It is quite unusual and often perceived as wrong and scandalous that I'm 35 and I live alone and don't have any children. As one man said to me at the Rotary Club today, "You should be married with three children by now...what's wrong?" (Part of my job is to expose them to our culture and learn about theirs, but I must admit to being tired of this dialogue, cuz I have it often...and there is nothing wrong with me, dammit!)
One man said the other day that I need to get married so that my sister (who is three years younger) could get married...his colleague told him that it doesn't work that way in our country...at least I didn't have to be the one to explain that. I left out the part that both my sister and I are divorced...as that is completely scandalous and I'm tired of talking about it! They get married for life here, and they are understandably quite proud of that. However, it has become clear (and our married friends have told us after a few drinks) that the married men here often have one or more girlfriends and that this is tolerated (and even sometimes encouraged) by their wives...when it comes to all of this, I try not to judge and just accept that none of our cultures are perfect and we all do the best we can with the culture and constraints we live within.
Dan, I'm happy to answer any specific questions you have about this when I get home...are you looking for a mail order bride?! 😉 Oh, one other thing about this, the men who lost their wives during the tsunami were mostly remarried to young women within a month or so, but the women who lost their husbands will never remarry...it is forbidden (not legally, but culturally) and a man would never take in another man's children. I think this is particularly sad (I guess that is judging, huh?).
Not sure when I'll write again...it may be in London in a couple of days...I'm enjoying being on the downhill stretch!
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patty
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Desperate Housewives
jody - i am getting a tremendous amount of enjoyment over your 'scandalous international profile!' you should revel in it, roll around in it, savor it.. you are a JUICY WOMAN worthy of raised eyebrows! imagine if being a divorcee in our community was that exciting.. you would be splashed all over the society pages. .. please, dahlink, no photos... :-) can't wait to see you! hugs, p.