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I can recall seeing a great Indian flic about an Indian Hindu wedding a few years ago - Monsoon Wedding - but never did I imagine that I would actually be at one in my lifetime. But lo and behold. I was. A friend of our host family invited Stan and I to his daughter's wedding celebration. First came the personally delivered invitation in glitter and gold, and then came the exuberant celebrations. At about the same time, we were also invited to the 2nd Death Anniversary of the wife of our NGO's Founder. Both of these rituals exposed us to some of the rich cultural traditions in India.
The Hindus attach a lot of importance to marriages and the ceremonies are very colorful and extend for several days. An Indian Hindu wedding is not simply a union of bride and bridegroom and exchange of vows and rings, but the start of a bond between two families and their cultures. Traditional Hindu wedding ceremonies are divided into three parts - pre wedding ceremony, main day ceremony and post wedding ceremony. I can't say that I understand all the many parts of an Indian wedding, but what I did partake in,
was fascinating and enjoyable.
First, we saw the public procession on the night of the wedding when the groom is paraded through the streets on his way to the marriage ceremony. It is known as Barat Nikasi and it is performed in different ways depending upon the customs of the family. Here, it was a grand and colorful public affair. The street in front of the house is decorated with large canopies with the bride and groom's name on it. There are dancers, drummers, and fireworks. Then there is a long procession through the streets of Cuttack with lighted floats of deities, lanterns carried on top of heads, and very loud music. After a long procession, the groom arrives at the wedding site.
The core of the marriage ceremony centers on fire and seven vows. The groom and the bride circle a holy fire seven times, making seven promises to be fulfilled in the married life, after which they are considered to be 'married' to each other. This ritual is called "phere". In a Hindu Wedding, the bride and groom marry each other and the priest only assists with the Mantra. He can not declare them married as
no authority is vested in him to do so. Agni (the god of fire), the deities and the invited members of the family and friends are the witnesses. The wedding takes place at midnight, an auspicious time. So the community celebration of the wedding takes place before the actual wedding. The celebration had over 1,000 guests with food for eveyone in an outdoor setting.
There is much written about the cost of Indian weddings especially for the family of the bride. The bride's family pays for the celebration, has to pay a hefty dowry, and then the bride goes and lives with the groom's family. This is one reason why females are not favored in Indian culture. One consequence of this situation has been the practice of female abortions and infanticide. Although it does not happen as much as before, it still happens way too much. This is one part of Indian culture which should be changed.
Now moving to a totally different ritual: the Death Anniversary. Friends and family gather for a Hindu ceremony on each anniversary of a person's death in India. Once again, family and regional traditions may vary but this is what I experienced
in the state of Orissa. The day started out with a ritual on the bank of the major river in Cuttack. Water is a very significant part of many religions and so too it is in Hinduism. There were immersions in the river, offerings were made to the deities and dead person, and prayers were chanted by the priest and family. It was explained to me that the setting is very important-it is by the water, under the sun, with nearby plants and vegetation. The idea is to have the ritual in this natural setting as it connects us to the generations of persons who have gone before us. Then there was a more private ceremony inside for about 8 hours with the immediate family present.
At night, a communal celebration of the dead person ends the commemoration. About 200 friends and family were invited to partake in a community meal which was prepared by the local temple. It was all organic, vegetarian and delicious and served under a temporary canopy. A local group of drummers and singers arrived and formed a circle on the ground. For several hours, village folk songs were sung and drummed with much emotion.
This custom stems from the rural village life where folks would gather after a long hot day of toiling in the fields, and sing about their lives with drums and other home made instruments. Everyone seemed to know the songs or sang refrains . Although I did not understand the local language, I could feel the tales of woe and joy in these folk songs of India. And so this death anniversary celebration comes to an end, starting in the water, stretching through the day in prayer, and ending in the local villages.
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Jesse Brown
non-member comment
Joy and Honor
I feel great joy in participating in th wedding via this blog. I feel great honor in participating in the celebration of the live of those who have changed before or change.