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Published: January 23rd 2009
Catching the local bus from Palolem to Margao for our train journey to Kochi in Kerala in hindsight probably wasn’t a good idea. With a huge push and shove effort (translation: Donna elbowing people in the head and stomach) we got the last 2 seats on the bus...unfortunately for Neil his seat was next to a 23 year old Indian guy who not only struck up a conversation which lasted the entire 3 hour journey, gazed lovingly at Neil's face at any opportunity he got.
As an aside - travelling in India is exhausting not because of the distances involved, but because everyone wants to know your story - where we are from, are we married, what are our jobs, where are we going, do we like India etc. Poor Neil, he was getting fed up of answering the same questions over and over. We learnt very quickly that saying you are not married in India is not a good thing...India is still a very conservative country and there are real issues with women’s equality and an unmarried western woman (even with her boyfriend) is still seen as fair game to some Indian men. So we lied...yes, like so many
other times in Asia it’s just easier to lie rather than rock the boat. Most of the time though Donna was ignored in these conversations as if she didn’t exist and Neil was expected to answer for both of us (you can imagine how Donna felt about that!).
So we get to Margao bus station, yet again in the middle of nowhere so the sh*thead rickshaw drivers can rip the tourists off. We finally made it to the station and had to hang around waiting for the train to arrive. Boarding the train though wasn’t a simple thing as only Neil had a confirmed ticket, Donna was still on the waiting list and really shouldn’t have got on the train - we had been worried sick about this train journey for 2 days. With a lot of eyelash fluttering and flattery, the nice Ticket Collector found a spare bunk for Donna and some kind travellers (British and South African) did some swapping around so we could be near each other and the journey went without a hitch and we picked up some travel tips for new places too!
Arriving into Fort Kochi was not as smooth as we
expected...we thought there would be plenty of rooms available, based on what we had experienced everywhere else we had been in India. This wasn’t the case and Donna wandered around for about 2 hours trying to find somewhere to stay. Now if you own a hotel and read this, please remember there is a nice way to say that you are full...the hotels of Kochi don’t seem to have mastered this and with sneers of self-importance and some downright rude slams of doors in her face, Donna was turned away from every place she asked at. On returning to Neil, Donna found he had been talking to a guy called Kumar who had a newly opened place to stay and for the first time ever in our travels, we followed him and were pleasantly surprised. Kumar couldn’t do enough for us and we had a room with hot water and fan for 600 rupees - if you want his e-mail or phone number, send us a message we are happy to pass it on!
Kochi was so busy, but mainly with package tourists and we weren’t really sure why. Kochi - in our opinion - isn’t really a place
with that much going for it, so we were puzzled as to why so many package tourists had chosen it as their holiday destination. As we moved through Kerala, our puzzlement would increase but eventually our questions would be answered.
Once settled in, showered and changed we went on a hunt for food...that shouldn’t be too difficult to find good food as we had heard so much about the famous Keralan food. Kochi disappointed us time and time again with the food. It was AWFUL...to call it slop is being kind. The worst offenders were Salt and Pepper and Elite Inn restaurants. Avoid these restaurants when in Kochi unless you like food loking like it has just come out of a tin of dog food!
Kochi was the place we had decided to spend New Year and we were fortunate enough to meet up with our friends from the UK, Stacey and Ross. After quizzing the owner of Stacey and Ross’ homestay about a good place to eat we walked determinedly around Kochi to find this restaurant, only to find that it was bookings only (in India - are you serious?!) so we went to the second recommendation
we were given where the 'Indian part' of the restaurant is separated by water from the 'Foreigners part'. The food was ok, a big beer was quite expensive at 110 rupees (£1.50), the service was - as usual - a bit surly and the waiter refused to serve us a dessert and with a big flourish of his arms, he said ‘no more food, chef is finished’. So instead we went on a hunt for snacks and one last hunt for some alcohol.
Incidentally, we had spent quite a few hours during the day hunting for an alcohol shop so we could have a bit of a celebration. We had gone to Ernakulum Town (over the water from Fort Kochi) to sort out a mobile phone company who had taken money off our sim card for no reason (beware of IDEA cellular!). While we were there we did an alcohol ‘treasure hunt’ but unfortunately no treasure was found. In all the research that OCD Donna had done before arriving in India, there was not one bit of information that said alcohol was hard to come by in Kerala but this didn’t stop Neil giving her an earful! On the
plus side we did have a decent dinner because we found a Subway...yay for Subway and their delicious sub-sandwiches, they were a little piece of heaven in Kochi! On the ferry on the way back to Kochi, Neil managed to get a really creepy Indian guy talking to him who was simultaneously trying to rub his groin against Neil’s knee, look down Donna's (neck high) top and asking Neil why Donna wouldn’t talk to him. Donna of course, put her sunglasses on, ignored creepy guy and left it to Neil to explain that other men’s wives do not talk to strange men in India which just made creepy guy rub his groin a little bit harder on Neil’s knee!
No more alcohol was found in Kochi so we retired with the hard stuff (a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi) to our balcony with some Bombay mix, nuts, marshmallows and Indian fudge sweeties and talked the night away. One consolation was that, unlike our previous two New Year’s Eves away, it didn’t rain! We had originally planned 3 nights in Kochi but with the disastrous food situation there, the fact we were very disappointed with how unfriendly the Keralan people
were so far and that there wasn't actually that much to do in Kochi, we thought it best that we get right on out of there. You can probably tell we weren't impressed with the place as we only took 7 pictures while we were there! On New Year's Day, hangover free, we travelled in luxury (for once!) in a taxi with Stacey and Ross to Alleppey which promised backwater cruises, nice little cheap homestays and good food. Was this to be a disappointment as well?
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liz
non-member comment
oh no another disappointment
I loved Kochi but then again we didn't stay in town. We stayed on Vypeen Island which was a little piece of heaven, complete with delicious food and alcohol. I hope your time in Kerala got better.