Cruising Kerala's Backwaters

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South India is a world away from all we experienced up north. The people are educated, poverty is greatly reduced and corruption & crime almost non-existent. A relaxed vibe permeates the sea breezes.....until midday strikes and you shrivel like a lizard in the scorching sun.

Following cricket mania, we took an overnight train to Fort Cochin and set up camp at the Princess Inn, run by two jovial guys with whom we had a lot of fun. A poorly-timed daily exercise regime saw us powering along the coast mid-monsoon dump. We were saturated to the core, looking like drowned rats as locals took shelter under trees and huts beckoning us to join them and then shaking their heads in disbelief as we sloshed on by. Humorously, we rocked into a restaurant for lunch right after our walk, causing a wave of snickers from foreign diners. Our hotel owners had scoffed at Pen's insistence on a shower and some dry clothes, convincing us on the benefits of 'built-in air-conditioning'. Two puddles formed under two chairs. Lunch was delicious. We warned you South India was relaxed.

A scrumptious Cook & Eat course extended our repertoire to include a wealth of Keralan coconut and curry dishes (sure to hit our dinner parties when we get home).

Our next few days spelled pure bliss as we hired an entire deluxe houseboat for ourselves, complete with a personal chef, a driver and a rudder man, and set about cruising Kerala's world-famous backwaters. A fisherman floated by selling freshwater prawns literally the size of lobsters (we actually thought they were lobsters 'till we took a closer look). Two prawns were purchased and our chef transformed them into the most delicious masala feast we had ever tasted. We sipped fresh coconuts as our boat cruised down the palm-fringed canals, revealing a film-reel of village life to voyeuristic eyes. Children chased us along the canal-banks, waving and smiling, women washed clothes and pots & pans, men swam and bathed, chickens clucked, cows mooed. The scene was impossibly picturesque and calm. A local man skirted our boat with his canoe, offering to take us rowing down the tiniest canals, too narrow for our monster of a houseboat to fit. We felt welcomed into the heart of the village, returning to see a purple-tangerine sunset over distant groves of coconut palms.

After farewelling our houseboat, a Homestay in a local village allowed us to experience the very essence of Keralan life first hand. We were guided through rice paddies, mobbed by joyful children wanting "One Pen", and then took a twilight canoe ride through firefly-lit darkness as our local hosts bellowed traditional songs across the still waters.

The bus ride back to Cochin transformed our little serene break from humanity into a nightmare. Government buses here are under the strictest of schedules and clearly our driver would have hell to pay if he got us and the entire sardine-packed bus to our destination a second too late. Literally running everyone and everything off the road ahead of him with his hand permanently on the horn. We finally arrived in one piece but not before a few close shaves. All of this while standing up with our packs on - Not bad hey?

A 20-hour train journey to Goa followed the next day with a 3-hour delay due to engine failure and a mozzie that made regular stops up the entire length of Dave's right arm while he was asleep. You'll never starve on an Indian train as a constant stream of soup, deep-fried bananas, donuts and veggies, full delicious meals, coffee, chai's and soft-drinks ply the corridors for next to nothing.

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