Trip to Hampi

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11am Monday 8th March, and the car arrived at the hotel to take us to Hampi.

A bit like the 'jeep' in Wayanad, in other words the Indian equivalent of a Vauxhall Corsa. We got three of the backpacks on the roof-rack, and the fourth in the boot. We all squeezed in, and off we went. I was a bit nervous, because the driver wasn't very good. He had no idea of anticipating, he just drove straight at stationary traffic, then slammed on his brakes at the last moment. And when he wanted to overtake, he changed into fifth gear - not ideal!

After about 50km, the car was getting a bit erratic, and he pulled up, got out, and kicked one of the rear tyres a couple of times. He seemed to think that had done the trick, because he got back in and we drove off - he spoke virtually no English by the way.

A few kms later, the offside rear was making some decidedly odd noises, and Steve and I were looking at each other with some concern. Then there was an enormous BANG, bits of tyre flew all over the road, and we skidded to a halt - fortunately on a quiet bit of road.

Everyone out of the car, on an unshaded road, in the middle of the day in India in March - not ideal! The driver, got out the jack, and the spare; and Steve and I looked at each with even more concern - I've seen more tread on an eggshell! The wheel got changed, and we drove off. The driver at least realised the situation was a bit dodgy, so he drove very slowly - about 30km an hour. I worked out that at this speed we could be in Hampi by Wednesday! After a few more kms, we turned off onto a small side road, and drove for about 15 minutes, still very slowly. The we pulled into a second hand tyre place - so this was what he was doing! Unfortunately, no suitable tyres, but alot of directions about another palace we could try. So off we went, still it seems a long way off our route - maybe Thursday??!!

After some long time, we arrived at another town, and drove off onto a track and stopped outside a roadside barbers. The driver jumped out, shouted something at us in Hindi, leapt onto the back of a motorbike that had just driven up, and disappeared! OK, that rules out Thursday too!

While we were sitting there glumly, trying to neither laugh nor cry, we noticed that either the customer at the roadside barbers was a Sikh with an exotic taste in white turbans streaked with blood red, or the barber had been a little careless with his razor! It soon proved to be the latter, and we quickly locked all the doors as a VERY stoned barber came over and tried to get into the car, while screaming at us that he wanted money for drugs!! Pretty scary stuff, so we were pleased when our driver came back and managed to get rid of him. Still having no idea what was going on, we drove off again. This time only for a few hundred yards, where we stopped at another tyre place - and there was a tyre waiting for us. Pity it had even less tread than the bald one already on the back of the car!

The spare wheel was fitted with the (new) tyre, and we set off, now back at our normal speed of about 80 kms/hour - ie about 50mph. So Thursday may be back on!

It took ages for us to get back onto our route, so I reckon we probably lost about 2 1/2 hours sorting out the tyre. As it was now about 3pm, we made eating signs at the driver to tell him we were hungry. Suddenly he seemed to be able to speak some English. He told us there was a really good restaurant in about 20 kms. So on we went. And on ...and on ... and on. After about 30 kms, I asked him how far the restaurant was now. "About 15 kms"!! I blew up, and asked him how this was possible. He shrugged his shoulders, and refused to speak. After about another 20 kms, we were all losing our patience, and I was about ready to commit a violent act. hen we pulled in at a roadside cafe. I am convinced that he had no idea where ANY restaurant was, but just did that Indian thing of making up an answer rather than disappoint us!

Anyway, we at least got something to eat. Then back into the car, and off again. Trouble is, it soon starts to get dark; and driving at night, in a car with at least one bald tyre, driven by a driver with little idea of how to drive, is not anyone's favourite pastime.

As it got darker still, I eventually suggested to the driver that he, if no-one else on the road, might like to switch on his lights. With somewhat bad grace, he deigned to switch on his sidelights - which he stuck with for the rest of the journey. But most other people seemed not to bother!! Lorries have front lights, which a few of them bother to use, but NONE of them have rear lights. Tuktuks almost never use any lights. And of course, tractors towing trailers, seem to be exempt from even HAVING lights. So on a dark road, it is just scary, scary, scary. And our driver kept on getting mobile calls!! When we changed into 5th gear, doing about 25 mph, to overtake a long lorry (without any lights) on a blind bend, and then answered his mobile, we all began to scream, cry, curse, and cross ourselves. But at least it never got worse than that!

By about 9pm (about 3 hours after we were supposed to be in Hampi), we saw a signpost - Hampi 3km!! We are going to make it!!

At about 9:30pm, we got to Hospet. Which is about 15km from Hampi!! I lost it completely, and when the bugger tried to tell me there had been a compulsory diversion, I had to be held down. The lying toad - he had just taken the wrong turning.

At about 10pm, we finally got there. We decided amongst ourselves to pay him the agreed amount, though I was against it. We told him to bog off, and found our first nights accommodation. And even though Hampi is both alcohol and meat free up to 4km from the town centre, we found a couple of likely lads who shot off on their scooter and smuggled in 6 large bottles of cold Kingfisher for us.

We deserved it!

More about Hampi next time.

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