Bangle Ceremony and Mendhi Night

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I woke at around 6.20 this morning as Shivali lurched out of bed and raced off to do something or other. I finally followed, sleepily trudging downstairs. A familiar face appeared in the kitchen doorway and called out a cheerful hello - Arpit arrived from Shimla early this morning after finishing his exams. I located Shivali in her bedroom with Anu and we all had a quick breakfast on the porch. I followed Anu and Shivali to the small temple down the road and then we returned home for the bangle ceremony. Shivali sat in front of a tray of bangles with a candle in the centre. Each of the women went forward one at a time to place a red and a green bangle alternatively on her wrists. I asked what the significance was and was told that green and red bangles are supposed to be a good omen for the future. I took my turn at placing the bangles on Shivali's wrists, 'helped' by my personal manicurist who wa shappily sitting alongside Shivali and getting in everyone's way.
As we got close to lunchtime there was pandemonium. There are so many guests so we basically had to eat in shifts. I sat up on the roof with Sageeta, one of Shivali's many 'cousins', and some of the other girls from the village. Shivali eventually joined us bringing with her the fake nails I'd bought for her. We all clustered around and sorted through the different sizes to find one that would fit her broken nail so she could have long nails for her wedding day. It was quite surreal sitting on a rooftop in the sun with a group of girls animatedly discussing in two languages how best to apply a fake nail. Eventually Shivali dragged me downstairs insisting I join the dinner queue and left me in the charge of one of her aunts, a very friendly woman who made it clear in her broken English that she thought I was 'cute' and had apparently decided I needed defending against all the other hungry guests as she kept ahold of my hand and pulled me through the press of bodies to where lunch was being served. I was soon sitting on a mat, steaming heaps of rice and curry loaded on to the banana leaves stitched toegther which was sevring as my plate. I dug in trying to ignore the curious stares of the few guests who apparently considered watching the English girl eat with her fingers part of the meal time entertainment. Dinner finished I folded my plate, used the last of my water to wash my fingers clean by the flowerbed and returned to the rooftop to sit in the sun with my new friends and the three grandmothers one of whom had aquired someone's baby and had it wrapped in a large orange fleece despite the fact it was pleasantly warm. I sat chatting and sunning myself for most of the afternoon until it was time for evening prayers. I sat with the other women in the living room while the priest set up for the cermony. A long set of prayers began, the priest praying continually and gesturing to various family members to come and make their offerings. After all the prayers were over and people had dispersed a few charcoal burners were brought inside and we sat in small groups around the fires. After a while Ankur came to say Shivali was asking for me and I found her in an adjacent room. She was sitting on the floor while Monika painstakingly painted henna designs on her feet. The professional photographer was late arriving and she wanted me to take some pictures. Grumbling that she only wanted me because of my camera and not because she wanted her best friend's company during her wedding preparations I kicked off my flipflops and curled up on a chair to watch... and take pictures of course. The mendhi designs are incredibly intricate and I commented to Monika that she must have a lot of patience to sit for so long doing it. Her response was 'You see Anna, in India, after marriage a woman learns a lot of patience.' I laughed and said that might be something that was the same the world over!
Once her feet were almost completely decorated Shivali moved into the living room while Monika and I collected the rags and mendhi and followed. Shivali was sat in a chair in the middle of the room so everyone could watch and the photographers soon turned up. They wanted to get photos of everyone with Shivali so we all took it in turns to sit beside her and pretend to add to the designs while carefully avoiding actually touching them. Eventually the photographers packed up and the guests started to wander outside for the evening meal. I stayed watching Monika complete her designs. I noticed she used one particular pattern over and over and asked if it was a design specific to weddings and if it meant anything. She told me it was a very important design for weddings... it's good for filling in all the blank spaces!
I eventually left to eat and joined some of the other guests outside. It's so cold here at night I'd really rather have stayed indoors trying to keep warm than sat on the ground in the night air waiting for food. Still once the food arrived I was glad of it. I returned to Shivali, and a fresh charcoal burner, and sat chatting until Monika pronounced the mendhi finished. I then got the task of dripping the lemon and sugar solution onto the henna to make the stain darker. Anu came to help me and the two of us covered Shivali's designs, and our own hands, in the sticky substance.
When at last Shivali was satisfied with our efforts we all sat around the fire talking. Arpit brought Shivali's dinner to her and the poor girl had to sit, henna covered arms and legs sticking out in front of her, while her brother spoon fed her like a baby... I guess my aeroplane noises didn't help!
She almost got her own back by trying to force me to sing for the guests. My delightful boyfriend had phoned earlier and spoken to Shivali and had apparently told her I can sing and dance beautifully and should be made to do so at the wedding! Fortunately when the singing and dancing began there were plenty of other people willing to perform for the crowd. The evening turned into quite a party. One of the women came in dressed in men's clothing and began singing about each of the guests. I'm not entirely sure about the details of the song but everyone found it hilarious and it grew increasingly raucous as the night went on. I eventually excused myself and headed for bed, shortly followed by Shivali who was still staggering around trying not to spoil her mendhi.

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