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Published: February 28th 2007
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February 1, 2007
I had my first official India update call with Sandy, my boss, today. After we got the pleasantries and official India business out of the way, she dropped a bomb on me. She told me that there would soon be an IT reorganization announcement and as part of that reorg, I would be getting a new job and a new boss. She went on the say stuff about moving the bridge Relationship Managers back into the greater IT organization and she felt like I was burnt out on my old job which I’ve been doing for 6+ years and something about Charlie, my new boss, and EQM, my new project… But she might as well have been talking to a deaf mute. I only absorbed about 10% of what she said, and I was so shocked I’m not sure I even asked her a single question.
Unbelievable! Really just un-damn-believable! Everything in my life is different right now. Country, language, culture, food, pollution, poverty, traffic laws - or lack there of - people, religion, social values, where I sleep at night, away from Tom, time zone, side of the road people drive on, shopping markets, transportation,
co-workers, office environment, music, television, even the damned toilets! And I don’t just mean a little different, I mean WAY F’ING DIFFERENT. The only thing in my daily life that is familiar, that I can count on for the sake of mental stability, is the 50% of my job that is my old job and my boss is my boss.
Now don’t get me wrong. I really like Charlie and I know he’ll be a great boss. The EQM project, what little I know of it, sounds very very interesting. But do they really have to rip from under me, the only piece of my life that feels grounded right now?
Let me say, I have intentionally keep work stuff out of this blog. I have a different place that I write down my work experiences and observations that is only appropriate to be shared with the professional parties involved. But this work issue bleeds over into my day-to-day India life… In that as soon as I was beginning (and mean just beginning) to feel like I could hold my own over here and that I wasn’t living on another plant - instead of just half way around the world - they hit me with another major change. Enough!!!
Sandy said the information was confidential and I needed to keep it quiet until the larger announcement was made to the IT organization at large. I couldn’t call my work buddies and talk to them, so I called Tom to cry on his shoulder. Got his voice-mail. Crap.
At this point I’d had enough; I had to get out of the office. I packed my laptop bag and headed back to the hotel.
News flash! It’s risky crossing Suicide Blvd on any given night, but when you’re half out of your mind, it’s potentially deadly. (I’ve attached a poorly shot video of what it’s like going to work during day - on a relatively good traffic day.) I walked to the end of the Keane drive way to prepare to cross the street. This is where the taxis, and other hired transportation whip into the Keane driveway to pick up the Keane employees to take them home for the night. It’s just a quick left hand turn for them and they take the turn so fast you might think they could get those little cars up on two wheels. Absolutely no regard for the fact that someone might be standing beside or on the edge of the driveway. The scene is complicated by the fact that there are food carts and parked bicycle rickshaws immediately to the right of the driveway. So you have to step out into the street a ways to see around these obstacles to check if there is any traffic before you make the suicidal sprint across the road. Oh yeah… there are no street lights and with the extreme pollution you can forget about any moonlight.
So I stepped out into the street far enough so I could see and began the rapid head-checking left and right looking for a small break in traffic so I can dash across the road without getting trapped in the middle - in the dark - dressed in black - looking to become yet another piece of road kill. Traffic was even heavier than normal and the taxis are whipping into the driveway within a foot (or less) or where I’m standing. Finally! I can see an opening coming up. Just one more car on my right to go by, then I can sprint for dear life. I look left, right (there goes the last car - here’s the opening), and back left one more time. All’s clear… Run for it!!!
I take one - maybe two steps - into my mad dash when WHAM. I run right into the side of a car that has decided at the last minute to stop so it would try to make the turn into the Keane driveway. It was the last car that was on my right just before the traffic gap. I thought it would continue down the road, but NO! It suddenly throws on the breaks just as I start to run across the street.
It scared to holy hell out of me. For a moment I couldn’t figure out what had happened. I thought maybe I had been hit by a car - instead of what actually happened which was me hitting a car. I was fine. Just startled, and scared. I stepped back out of the road and lost it. I’m not a cry baby, but I stood there and just blubbered. The driver of the car I ran into, just kept on going - pulled into the driveway and went on. The bicycle rickshaw drivers and food cart vendors were staring at me, but then again there’s nothing new about. So I eventually got my wits about me… stepped back into the road and started looking for another gap in traffic so I could cross Suicide Blvd.
I made it without incident on the second attempt.
I got back to the hotel room, called Tom, cried on his shoulder (literally - at the crying part - not the shoulder part), took a sleeping pill, and went to bed. I swear to God! I didn’t even want to get up in the morning. I was in full blown - “Just Screw It” - mode.
Well Tom being the great guy that he can be when he tries…. Emailed my DOD and told him I was skating on thin ice, he was worried about me, and that my DOD should call me. Of course my DOD called the next morning, and it was just normal chit-chat. I wasn’t going to mention the work upheaval, but when he kept gently asking how-ya-doing questions, how-is-work-going questions, I could tell he either sensed I was completely out of sorts, or Tom had ratted me out. I brought my DOD up to speed and he gave me lots of encouragement and comforting advice. I’m so glad I got to talk to both Tom and Dad.
I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go home. I want something normal; something familiar; something that feels right. How many more days to I have here?
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Jeanne
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Better days ahead
Oh, Deborah. You will be home soon. Let's talk. When will you be home? How can I get in touch with you? You are a very special person. You have a unique order to fill in the world, and it would not be the same without you. I miss you.