The Least Popular Action-Adventure Movie Ever Pitched (Holidays pt. 4)

---

Crashes, blood, and train-chases.

All makings for a good action-adventure movie, right?

I'll let you decide.

This movie idea (which is based off of a true story, mind you), is something I call "Hungry in Hyderabad." But it doesn't start in Hyderabad, see; it starts in the far-off town of Hampi, where there are now only four intrepid travellers (three Americans and one German).

It's their last day in Hampi, and the German (who I will call "Pete"), decides to celebrate his birthday by renting a motorbike and zooming around the countryside looking at far-off ruins. While he's gone, "Bits," "Al," and "Lyn" feel a false sense of security and go about their day shopping, writing postcards, and getting over sunburn headaches from the previous day. Al is especially burnt, and the locals ask her why half of her leg is red and the other half white. Eventually, Pete returns and they all decide to have their last foodie hurrah at the Mango Tree before catching a rickshaw to the train.

All is well, except everyone is drained, and they leave the restaurant at a reasonable time. Lyn insists that Al takes the motorbike with Pete back to the hotel so she doesn't have to walk while feeling sick. Al, who has been avoiding Pete's requests for someone to ride with him all day, relunctantly agrees, and they get set up as Bits and Lyn walk ahead.

And then, suddenly, Bits and Lyn hear a loud noise from behind, followed by calls of distress. They look back to find Pete and Al lying on the ground, next to a falled motorbike. Lyn and Bits sprint back to the scene and pull their friends from the wreckage. Al's knee and Pete's arm are bleeding profusely, and Lyn immediately pulls out her tiny first-aid kit and begins ministering to Al's wounds. From this point forward, Lyn is dubbed "Mama Lynn." They walk back to the hotel, where the rickshaw is already waiting.

But Pete still needs to return the motorbike, and when he does, the owner is furious. Pete tries to explain that the string on the brake broke, but the owner starts calling his cousins to hold Pete there while he calls the cops. Pete manages to escape, but he is still wounded, and there is nothing more to bandage him than Lyn's tiny bandaids, toilet paper, and a scarf. They manage to MacGyver something that will keep over the 10-hour train ride and they all pile into the rickshaw, which moves at neck-brake rickshaw speeds until it hits a hill and Pete and Al have to walk alongside it and Lyn has to go out back and push. When they reach flatter ground, they pile back in and resume break-neck speeds, but they are working against the clock.

At this point, many prayers are offerred to Ganesha. Al promises to build a shrine to him if they make the train. Pete promises Ganesha to have a lot more respect for the Hindu religion. Lyn, who only passingly thinks about Ganesha, calculates whether Hyderabad is even worth the trouble. Bits, on the other hand, ponders with a smile if Lyn will finally crack her calm veneer.

They arrive right when the train is scheduled to leave, and leap out of the moving rickshaw (okay, maybe not, but it sounds pretty cool, right?) only to discover that the train was running twenty minutes late.

Pete, Al, and Lyn breathe a sigh of relief and bid Bits farewell as she leaves for Bangalore. Then they get on their train and realize that their quarters for the night will be on dirty blue cots in tight quarters without A/C and with men who tend to stare a little too long for comfort. Lyn immediately claims a top-level bunk, where she can hide out of sight and almost immediately falls asleep.

The next morning, the Hyderabad adventures begin: Their day is filled with exciting things like the rickshaw driver who wants to take them to a friend's hotel and tells them that the one they picked out is "all full," and getting proper bandages for Pete and Al. Al stays in bed the whole first day while Lyn and Pete get very lost in Hyderabad. They get three pictures taken with them over the course of their wanderings, just for the novelty of their presence in Hyderabad, but Pete and Lyn discover that sight-seeing is not an acceptable sport in Hyderabad. Crossing the street is not an acceptable sport in Hyderabad. Therefore, they decide to get Indian McDonalds and bring it back to Al at the Taj Mahal Hotel. They spend the evening watching I Robot and gaining an appreciation for McVeg sandwiches.

But here's the highlight of "Hungry in Hyderabad" (the climax, if you will):

The next day before returning to Bangalore, they go to a sweets shop expecting a lot of candies, and discover a wide variety of wonderfully decorated little cakes. They purchase many pieces each, and then gorge on them as dessert for their second (first on-site) Indian McDonalds meal.

And that's the end.

Proof of why my life will never be made into an action-adventure movie.

---

Photos

View from the Mango Tree
Don't let the view or scrumptious food be deceptive; this place is near a road of doom.

Mickey-D's and Cake
From left to right: Mango, Orange-Chocolate, Lychee, Chocolate Truffle, McDonalds Coca Cola.

Comments

[asa]

hi
Great adventure