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Published: September 3rd 2009
China thoughts...
So here I am in Dalian, China, starting my first year of teaching! Whoo!
First impressions: Dalian is extremely beautiful! Not like I expected!
When I think of mainland China, I’m not going to lie, I’ve always imagined it to be a bit of a human wasteland. I imagined sand everywhere, no greenery and all, packed with people, shacks/apartments, and very very dirty.
Well, wheen we drove in, we were all pleasantly surprised to find, TREES! GRASS! FLOWERS! BUSHES! UNOCCUPIED LAND!
And man, Dalian does a great job with the upkeep, because all the bushes and flower beds are beautifully maintained (I guess you can do that when labour comes cheap!). I was definitely in awe when I saw how nicely kept everything was!
Grass and trees lined the sides of the roads and the center medium of the roads.
And surprisingly, it’s very clean! While driving through, not much trash was found anywhere! (Later correction: Only PARTS of Dalian are clean. ….and only the main roads are clean. Other places are just gross.)
Along with the newly built Western style town houses and buildings, we could have very well been driving through a picturesque Canadian town!
So after filling our truck with our luggage, we are brought to a Metro shop for shopping.
Now…there are two campuses, a boys campus and a girls campus in my school. (The campuses are the size of a small university campus).
And there are two separate teachers’ residences on campus, and so, the girls campus is all new, and of course, I wanted a NEW apartment (in other words, a not moldy apartment.), so prior to arriving, I chose the new apartment, but lo and behold, we get there to be told that IT’S STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION!
So…our admin brings us to hotels.
…and of course at first, I’m all giddy that we get to live in a nice, clean, air conditioned hotel.
BUT, I forgot that we weren’t in Canada anymore, and in Dalian, hotels look a LITTLE different.
We walk into the hotel via a doorway of beads - in China entrances don’t use doors during the day, but use beads, and plastic carwash-esque hangings, I have yet figured out the reason for this oddity…. Anyway, so we walk in and we see a half naked man walking around the “lobby”. Sketch factor rises 10 notches.
We go up a flight of stairs and opened our doors to:
- disgustingly stained carpets. And when I mean stained, I mean, STAINED. Not just one stain, but HUNDREDS of black stains on the carpeted floor.
- An colourfully covered queen sized bed. (before I slept in it that night, I turned over ever sheet, every pillow, and inspected it all, before I deemed it hygienic enough to sleep in.)
- A washroom that has the toilet right enxt to the shower, which is right next to the sink. No shower curtains, no ledges, no seperation. Just all…one flat room. My friend’s advice: “try not to get the toilet paper wet.”
- A really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Funky smell.
So yes. Ghetto-tastic.
We’re all actually convinced that it’s a “Love Hotel”, as the headboards are padded, and some of our friends are sleeping on round beds. Soooo. Yea.
Following Metro (and an unproductive shopping trip - as we had no apartment to furnish), we quickly settle into our hotels (meaning unzip the suitacase), shower (because it’s extremely humid hot outside!), and then head to take pictures for our medical exam. We then all head to a Chinese restaurant in Jinshitan, the village 5 minutes walk away from our campus, and a hour away from Dalian, the big city. We quickly realize how small the village actually is. It’s pretty much a hick village, because wihle walking down the street we see that all the men were either walking around half naked, or had their wifebeaters rolled up halfway baring their ever so attractive stomachs. And there they were, walking down the street stroking their bellies. And of course because of the ratio of men to women in China, the streets are filled with mostly men. …all of course eyeing the group of predominately white teachers with interest. Out of 40 new teachers, only 3 of us aren’t white.
So inside the Chinese restaurant, we get pre-ordered dishes of Chinese food. Now with each Chinese dish that came out, my white co-workers all “ooo”’d and “ahhh”’d with excitement and fascination. And with each bit they took, they “mmmm”’d and patted their bulging bellies and declared each successive dish to be their very favourite. They raved about the food, and picked and poked at each dish with genuine curiosity and amazement. They saw each dish as a culinary masterpiece.
….and when I looked at each dish, I basically saw what I ate for dinner last week at the local Mississauga Chinese restaurant. Yes, I’m not even exaggerating. Exact same dishes at “Happy Garden” Chinese restaurant. (Eglinton and Creditview. To further prove my honesty on this subject.)
Since I was sufficiently bored with these dishes, I instead took amusement in watching my coworkers prod at the food.
With dinner came lots and lots of Tsing Tao beer, which for a MASSIVE bottle equalled to 6 yuan, or $1 Canadian. So obviously we have a field day.
It was great though, because at my table was the Vice Principal of the boys Campus where I’m teaching, and there he was ordering the beer for us, teaching us how to say “chug” in Mandarin.
EXCITING NEWS BREAK:
At the restaurant, I came across and utilized my very first SQUATTER TOLIET!
So for those who don’t know, it’s an extremely shallow toilet bowl, but built into the floor. So imagine just the shallow toilet bowl. Nothing else. No porcelain stand rising it up from the floor, no raised ledges, flat floor. With a dipped in porcelain bowl. So despite my extreme disgust and hesitation, my full bladder of beer forces me to suck it up and …SQUAT.
OH MY GOSH. HARDEST THING EVER. As I have no shame, I will now proceed to share my sad ordeal with all of you and the general internet public.
FIRST OF ALL: it’s HARD to squat and not fall over.
SECOND OF ALL: there’s nothing but nasty walls to hold on to.
THIRD OF ALL: it’s hard to keep balance while squatting, peeing, and then reaching for the toilet paper (which sometimes exist and sometimes DOES NOT.)
FOURTH OF ALL: you have to aim!! Girls don’t aim!!
FIFTH OF ALL: If you manage to aim into the bowl, you have to watch out, because you must AIM for the back of the bowl which is deeper than the front. Because, as I learned the hard way, if you aim for the front shallow part…well…urine just goes a-splashin’. Everywhere.
SIXTH OF ALL: flip flops are not good to wear when squatting.
So anyway, that was my first experience at the squatter. What disgusted me even more afterwards was that, …if I can’t aim…then OTHER girls ALSO can’t aim. Which means when I step near the squatter, and feel the squishing under my flip flops…yea. You can all fill in the rest.
END OF EXCITING NEWS BREAK (don’t you all feel closer to me now more than ever?)
So after much drinking and smoking (…almost all the teachers smoke. And they’re allowed to smoke indoors. Restaurants, hotels, hospitals ) we head out to the town where, when the sun sets, the place is happening! Half naked men walking up and down the small streets, chinamen squatting on the roads playing cards, and eating street meat at the stalls.
What used to be empty streets are now transformed! Tables and chairs are pout out, barbecues set up and various street meats are proudly on display for people (and flies) to chow down on.
While walking by and observing, I saw things like sardines on a stick, squid on a stick, and chicken heads (yes. Four chicken heads to be exact), on a stick being bbq’d.
So a group of us decided to be daring and head for the street meat. Now before I left Canada, my mother and father specifically warned me against the street meat. So being the good girl I am, I listened. And drank more beer instead.
BUT, as my white coworkers knew no better - they devour the street meat. So there we were sitting in the middle of a crowded street eatery. We stuck out like a sore thumb.
Well, not me. But my coworkers sure did. Tall, big, blonde, coworkers. When I walk around with them, we turn heads, people stare, and cameras are taken out, and photos taken of us. (I’m exciting by association.)
In fact, my coworkers have told me that there were times when little old grandmothers have come up to them, shoved a baby in their hands, and taken pictures.
Nothing says lucky then having a “gwai-lo” (white person) hold your baby!
RANDOM FACTS ABOUT HOW CHINA IS DIFFERENT FROM CANADA:
a) the smell. We frequently get huge whiffs of eau de garbage and sewage. Even the locals don’t seem to be able to get used to the smell!
b) The sewage. Runs freely down the street.
c) The street. Filled with mad drivers. Lines on the road denoting lanes are merely a suggestion. It is not uncommon to see cars straddling the two lanes for long periods of time, or drive on the shoulder. Blinkers are seldom used, whereas the car horn is given quite a good usage, as drivers honk ALL THE TIME. Swerving between lanes, cars, and pedestrians is well accepted and even expected during rush hour traffic.
d) Pedestrians. Have no right of way whatsoever. If a pedestrian gets hit, it’s his fault. Cars will not yield for pedestrians. If you want to cross the street, you run.
e) People. China people, women or men, will actually squat on the street when waiting for the bus, while hanging out, while reading the paper, or while doing whatever. They l actually Chinamen squat. It’s actually pretty hilarious.
f) Women. Will hold hands with other women. Yes, they walk down a public street holding hands. And not just cupping hands, but interlocking fingers, and swinging their arms back and forth. It’s bizarre.
g) Social politeness. None. Men will HORK and spit out phlegm on the street anytime. Mothers will stop and pull down their kids pants and let them pee on a busy street (I saw that happening, and tried to look away to not seem like a big perv staring at a naked kid peeing). Men will similarily pull down their pants and start peeing in bushes in broad daylight. Men will also pull down their pants and start crapping in broad daylight. I’ve seen my fair share of human crap on the streets.
h) Stores. People are hired to stand outside a store and clap and sing at people passing by to try to attract a customer into their store. And when you actually DO enter a store, a storeclerk inside will HOVER over you. They will actually follow you around the store, not even discretely! Nope, they’ll be right up in your space. And it wouldn’t even be ONE sales clerk following you like a sick puppy, but it’ll be TWO or THREE. I’ve had to leave stores because I was so uncomfortable with the lack of personal space I had at stores.
i) Fireworks. Chinese ppl love love love fireworks! And I’m assuming they’re super cheap (they did invent it afterall), because fireworks are constantly being set off, and banging and echoing around the city. Night AND day. It’s 8:15am right not and there are large fireworks being set off near my hotels as the whole city is echoing with banging. And not only do they have fireworks constantly, but they go on forever! It’s not like that 5 minute firework show that Canada spews out, but it’ll go for ages! Plus they’re cheap to buy for the general public! We bought massive firework boxes for less than 20 bucks!
j) Tips. Are not given. Anywhere. Not in restaurants, taxies, anything. Great service? 0% tip.
k) Toilet paper. Non-existent in any public restaurant or place. You carry your own paper. And if you forget?…too bad.
l) Cellphones. When you call someone using your cellphone, you don’t hear a ringing coming out of a receiver, no sir-ree, you hear Chinese music. Chinese music has replaced the ring.
m) It is currently 8:50am, and the fireworks are STILL going off. Weather outside: bright and sunny with echoing banging on the side.
So it’s been pretty annoying having an asian face but not knowing the language. We went to Kaifaque (the larger city near Jinshitan, 20 min train ride away) for lunch one day, and when we all walked in, the waitresses actively seek out and start speaking to me in very quick Mandarin. Of course, I look like a total idiot, and just stared back at them, shaking my head, muttering out “bu chee down” over and over again (“I don’t understand.”) And I swear, afterwards, the waitresses glared at me, and looked at me like I was dirt and not worth any time at all. And then with their noses stuck in the air, they walked away from, obviously very disgusted with the discrepancy between my chiense appearance and my Chiense language proficiency. Right then, I vowed to learn mandarin at no matter what costs.
HOW WE LIVE A LIFE OF LUXURY IN CHINA:
a) We’ve discovered places where we can get large bottles of beer for 50 cents Canadian. Yes. 50 cents.
b) One night we bought half a litre of vodka, a half litre of whisky and a litre of sprite, all for 7 dollars Canadian. Total.
c) Massages are dirt cheap. A full body massage in a really nice massage parlor, for a hour, was 12 dollars Cad. And that was an “expensive” place too.
d) We can taxi anywhere and everywhere. The drop rate for a taxi is 8 yuan, or 1.30 CAD. It costs $8 dollars to get from Kaifatque (25 minutes away by car), to Jinshitan.
e) Food is cheap! We went to a really high class thai restaurant (had to get there by elevator), and we shared a nice 4 course meal, each of us paid 7 dollars Cad.
f) Maids cost 6 dollars for 4 hours of work. They clean your whole place AND do the laundry. Worth it. The older teachers would get them to go into their houses twice a week!
g) I got a load of laundry done, dry-cleaned, and ironed for 10 dollars CAD. They even ironed my underwear. Score!
Thoughts..OUT.
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non-member comment
ahaha u r living the good life
Sooo funny!! And I don't believe the human poop on the streets... Cmon can't be serious bout that!!! Yea little kid pooo I've seen but not grown ppl poop! Anyway hope u move into ur apt soon! Love yaaaa