Final Thoughts

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As I return to the United States and close the book on this chapter of my life, it's impossible not to notice the impact China has had on me. While I had studied in Europe, safari'ed in Africa and backpacked my way around Australia and Asia, none of these vacations could prepare me for the magnitude of living in the People's Republic of China.

This year, I never settled for 'just having a good time.' Learning something, whether useful, interesting or silly, always came first. Even writing this blog has forced me to push my comfort level searching for more knowledge, quirks and viewpoints to further understand my experiences, otherwise I'd hear it from everyone back home about how lame it was. In the end, it has left me with a tangible product of some of the best times of my life. 20 years from now, I can read it and think back on the grizzled expats, crazy women, dogmatic Party officials, ambitious businessmen and silly peasants that colored my year. I hope you all have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. With my integration in the language, I have achieved a greater conversing ability in Chinese than 3 years of Italian study and a semester in Rome produced back in college. I consider many of the relationships I forged to be some of the most thoughtful and deepest of my life. I have unearthed an entirely new and legitimate viewpoint to compare with the 'Eurocentric American Dream' ingrained in me since childhood. Throughout the people that I have met, travels I have enjoyed and learning I have achieved, I have come to see the modern world and China's role in that world with far clearer understanding - an understanding that presents even more questions than answers.

We in the West have this grand idea of 'saving China,' but the truth is they don't need our 'saving.' There's a reason China is the oldest continuous civilization on earth. They are, above all, survivors, whether from famine, war or their own questionable politics. You can see it in their relationships, their institutions and their quirks. Yes, there is a tremendous amount to learn from western ideas of enlightenment, but that does not mean that our way of life universally applies all over the world. China is desperate to learn from the West to assure their 'Century of Humiliation' never repeats itself, but the West all too often takes this as a sign that our system is universal and China is admitting it. What many westerners do not comprehend is that China will always be China and they learn from us now so that they will never be forced to bow to us again. The Chinese are correct that most westerners do not understand China. But what they don't realize is that they also do not understand the West. In earlier times, this was not a problem as Chinese society flurished without outside influence. But today the rules of the game have changed and while you can argue your entire life whether that change was natural or something that was thrust on China by imperialistic foreign powers, the fact remains the world has changed. And China itself has been embracing change and modernization for over a hundred years! Reforming a 5,000 year old culture is a tricky and delicate issue and doing so without making some unforced mistakes is too much to ask. Do not take my words to mean I have become a China apologist. I am often intensely critical of the CCP's frustrating dogma and the people's maddening bullshit. But what I have come to learn is that there is a lack of understanding on both sides that needs to be bridged. Chinese anti-protesters at Duke University issuing death threats to a Chinese student who facilitated dialogue are just as dispicable as the French government offering the Dalai Lama honorary citizenship during the Tibetan riots. No wonder people say Chinese youth are brainwashed or there was a nationalist boycott of Carrefour in China. Both sides are far too proud to admit that they don't understand enough about each other or that the other side also has merits and right now it is doing serious damage to relations. I hope that aside from giving me great pleasure, writing this blog does its part to help bridge the communication gap on these important issues (hey, this might be my last chance to change the world!).

I said it last summer and I'll say it again now. I've never been to a place that has intellectually stimulated me as profoundly as China. It's got it all - a fully-developed and unique culture, an amazing history that shapes an intensely relevant present and boundless personal opportunites in the future. Yet, my year of learning and experiencing has merely nicked the tip of the iceberg. Foreigners you meet in China all have this understanding that China is a lifelong love/hate affair that may not always be fun or easy, but will never be dull. I am certainly not the first westerner to ever realize this, but the existence of those who came before me lends credability to my own newfound passion. When the 2008 Olympics kick off in Beijing (which, by the way, really deserved its own entry) on 8/8/08, I will keenly follow the event - not because I give a flying @#$% about commercialism fleecing amateurs, medal counts or sychonized swimming - but because I'm dying to know what happens. And by that I don't mean protests, censorship or atheletes gasping for air, but namely the foreign and Chinese reactions ("oh my God, I didn't realize China had electricity!"). The Chinese have politicized the games while denouncing foreign protestors for also doing so, but that doesn't mean they are not entitled to enjoy their day in the sun. If anything, a successful Games under the watchful eye of the world will hopefully help China to continue on the path of Reform and Opening it has embraced for a generation.

What most people don't know is that I actually gave up a $45k business school scholarship for this China experience. These kinds of grants are often used as enticement for accepted students to actually enroll and the half-tuition scholarship I received from USC was contingent on matriculating that year. While deferring the acceptance was relatively straight forward, it was made quite clear that my scholarship was non-deferrable (even though I would be considered again next year). While I didn't officially lose the money until March, I made the decision thinking "if I am gauranteed to lose this money, do I still defer?" In the end, I decided that it was only money, compared with a priceless experience. And what I discovered traveling last summer is what I confirmed this year: the China tattoo doesn't rub off so easily. I would make the same decision 100x out of 100. Foreigners have been coming to China for hundreds of years and for thousands of reasons - selfish, accidental, philosophic, intellectual or philanthropic. While it hasn't seduced everyone, there is one theme that resonates throughout the foreign community: once you realize you are a China Guy, there is no turning back. This country will always be a part of you regardless of how dirty the air, corrupt the politics or how many laowai flipouts a day you have. There may be times when you feel like you've seen it all and then all of a sudden a camo-wearing chef comes along and commandeers a restaurant and you realize that China can always surprise you!

Will I go back to China? Who knows. Two years in business school can change everything. What may be true now might not be true in 6 months after encountering the kind of amazing minds and ideas you meet in business school. What is certain is that I will be traveling again in a year. USC's business school has a uinque feature, where you spend the final quarter studying the economy and business practices of a specific pacific rim country and end the academic year with a 10-day trip to that country to meet with business leaders. Next year, 4 of the 5 trips are to Asia and 2 of those trips are to China. That means just mathematically, I have a 40%!c(MISSING)hance of going back next year. Add to that a summer internship that can be done seemingly anywhere in the world and USC Marshall program with strong alumni connections in Shanghai and endless opportunities around the world after graduation and it's safe to say that it's entirely up to me. I spent this year partly to see how I liked China and living the expat lifestyle and all it's done is given me a taste for more. I'd like to think that doing business is best left to China Hands and not the ignorant corporate raiders and I hope my meager experience has put me in position make China a lasting part of my life. Coming back AFTER business school on an inflated expat salary wouldn't suck either!

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Comments

[marky]

wow
I don't know how many people have read this but I'm really enjoy it and appreciate for you time on writing. !!

[Welcome
]

I think you really know something about Chinese and China that more or less different from the western medias. Welcome to China again.

[Rui]

Really happy to see someone's deep thought about China when he or she spent some time there, and actually I also had discussed such kind of things with my westerns friends who have been in China for a long time. You are right, neither side knows each other very well, but i guess those who have lived both in China and in US for a while like us will have a better understanding of that.