Massage

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Did I tell you that I went for a full body massage a couple of days ago?

I'd been really looking forward to it but it turned out to be one of the most bizarre experiences in my entire life. The place was a bit how I'd imagine a low rent swingers hotel to look - ornate rooms but a bit shabby with two large double beds and a telelvision screen and DVD player. I couldn't see any two way mirrors which was a bit of a relief! My lady was in her thirties, tiny but well built. She didn;t speak any English and my Chinese is still limited to just a few words. I changed into some old pyjamas then lay down on one of the beds in anticipation.

She started with my feet and luckily they weren't too ticklish until she went in between my toes. She worked up my legs and it was definitely a probing rather than relaxing massage - she kneaded every single muscle, bone and sinew. It is the kind of thing that you would really want after climbing a mountain rather than just before you go to bed. Anyway, I found my thighs really ticklish so just kept giggling. She massaged my tummy which was a bit weird, I have a habit of holding my tummy in when anyone looks at it and I think she kept telling me to relax but you try relaxing with all your wobbly bits out! Incidentelly, they said full body massage and they did mean that - she even did my bum!! I felt very sorry for her to be honest and couldn't relax at all at that point. At least she left my chest alone....

Anyway, at various points in this experience she used her feet, calves, knees, elbows, shoulders and hands to massage me. She flipped me and turned me, one time catching me unawares as she tried to throw me to land on her knees (honestly, I wish I could have taken pictures, I will not possibly be able to do justice with words) but I fell off and laughed really hard for about five minutes. When she had me in position (lying face up on top of her knees while she also lay on her back) it was a little relaxing but just too bizarre for me. She stood on me and pulled my limbs in various directions and eventually finished off with a lovely enjoyable head massage. I don't think I'll be repeating the exprience but I am trying to persuade my brother to go along 😊

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