Poop Flinging and Crazy Subway Man

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So the Chinese never fail to amaze me with their strange behaviors. Even if I lived here for years, there would always be something that I hadn't seen yet.

The story begins with Crazy Subway man. Myself and a few other USACers were on the subway, minding our own business when all of a sudden a fat Chinese man begins yelling in English. This is strange for two reasons: 1) First fat Asian I've seen 2) Most Chinese know very little English and he was speaking it very very well. He began his rant with "Ladies and Gentleman" at which point I thought he was going to flash us his gun and tell us to hand over our wallets. Luckily, this didn't happen, as it was obvious he was addressing us Americans, as no one else on the subway knew enough English to understand. Then he sets off about how the government of China is corrupt, how we should join him in his battle, and how he would be arrested if the government heard him now, while adding the occasional "beautiful ladies and handsome gentlemen". Meanwhile we're all trying very hard not to snigger because the entire car is watching him and it's a very awkward situation. Finally, at the next stop he makes a dramatic exit and swoops of into the station. All of this happened within about 1-2 minutes so we were slightly flustered.

Even better comes the Poop-Flinger. Now sadly I was not around to witness this first-hand, however it was relayed to me several times by other USACers who were there. The story goes that once upon a time in a Shanghai subway a man decided it would be a good idea to steal someone's wallet. The theif is running away while the theifee is running after him yelling. Thief jumps into the nearest subway car, only to be pushed out by the angry Chinese people who don't approve of stealing. Then it turns into a free-for-all as the thief is pushed to the ground and beaten up by any and all people close enough to get a good wack at him. Apparently his eyes were black and blue and someone had tried to stomp on his neck. After a few minutes of being down, he reaches down his pants, grabs a handful of his own poop, jumps up and starts brandishing it around at all the people around him. So poop is flying onto peoples jackets and they're just wipin it off with their hands like its no big deal, and this guy is just waving his poop around. The moral of the story is that the Chinese literally kick the shit out of robbers.

Qi Pu Lu is quite an interesting experience is well, it's one of the many fake markets here in Shanghai where you can find pretty much anything that you want. Lots of clothes stores, jewelry, fake designer goods, ec. Foreigners attract a lot of attention and as soon as we walked in we were hounded by several people trying to get us into their stores. No matter how hard we tried they wouldn't leave us alone. We had the same guy all over us for literally the three hours we were there. He would disappear for a few minutes only to reappear ahead of us. The best policy is just to ignore them, because everything you look at they tell you that they will give it to you for cheaper and then lead you to a store that has absolutely nothing that you want. China is as crazy as ever!!!

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