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Published: September 26th 2007
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Walking down the street my first morning back in Shanghai was as surreal a feeling as I've had in a long time. The sights, sounds and smells were so familiar, but as if from a time I couldn't really remember or forget. Thanks to my flight being delayed out of San Francisco for 5 hours, I had to roll into Shanghai after being awake for seemingly a week straight. But right off the bat, it's the same old weirdness - babies with holes in their pants squatting in the streets, old men walking down the road in pajamas and misspelled English on T-shirts (apparently, we get revenge on the Chinese for poisonous dog food and lead-based Christmas toys by sending them our defective T-shirts....ha, suckers). Finding a place to live was no sweat, thanks to the amazing invention of Craigslist, so now I'm now holed up in a little piece of real China with a couple American kids, fresh out of college trying to make it here as architects. What I wouldn't give right now to be 4 years younger right now and have more time to become a real China-hand, instead of this one year 'internship.'
While finding a
roof over my head was easy, finding a job has proven much more difficult. Luckily, Coley Dale hooked me up with a few hours of teaching English to 8 year olds which, at 150 RMB an hour, is plenty to live on. If only I didn't have to teach weekends, I'd never look for a real job. I tell you, Asia's a great place to be a bum. Where else could you have no skills, no initiative and nothing of any kind to offer any employer and still be able to pull in the kind of plush cash you can by teaching English in China? And have I ever mentioned that Asian kids are adorable? Aside from the classes on weekends, the only downside is a mix of a One-Child Policy and affluent Shanghainese to give you the most spoiled breed of China's Little Emperors screaming their slanty, little heads off at you all day long. But they at least speak better English than anyone else in Shanghai. You may not get as many blank stares here by people whose minds are blown at the mere sight of you, but that doesn't mean any of them can speak a word
of English.
Shanghai's uniqueness is pretty obvious once you have time to look around and take notice. Futuristic, spaceship-like skyscrapers sit directly above a rubble junkyard that's home to people who scavenge the streets for scrap. Youth in decadent western fashion roam freely through the hoards of 'urban peasantry' swarming into the city to find lucrative jobs as street sweepers, trash collectors, fake watch salesman and that all important 9th guy at the cash register in a store big enough for 3 people. But with China's push for full employment and the fact that people can make exponentially more money as a beggar in Shanghai than as a farmer in the countryside, people are flooding into the city, making for a widening socio-economic gap. With a new bike and no job, I've been able to cruise around the city as I please, running errands, exploring and taking it all in. On the bike, you just have to remember to worry about what's in front of you and forget that the guy behind you probably can't drive for shit. Just stay in control and don't be an asshole and you'll survive in this city on a bike. Don't, and you
won't. All week long there had been talk of the "Typhoon of the Decade" which was supposed to ravage Eastern China. Thankfully, all it did was make it rain like Pac-Man Jones for 2 days and screw up my ability to go exploring.
Steve Gross' final days in Shanghai before packing up for Europe for good was my first chance to check out some of the fun this city is famous for. And let me tell you, this city is fun! After a solid week of jet lag, it was a real shock to my system to rip it with Steve, Coley, their expat buddies and Tong Wu - a decadent, middle-aged, Chinese sex addict, who sends his wife home to come out and get wasted off 2 beers with laowai. Being allowed to drink on the streets on your way to a bar or lunch means you never worry about where to go, cause it's all too easy to just pull up on the side of the road and drink outside a convenient store, when the expat bar you're at is too damn hot. It was not easy to drink all night and get up and deal with
screaming ankle-biters. It was even harder not to touch them inappropriately. Just kidding. Really. So I did what any functioning alcoholic worth his salt would do - I went drinking all day before a demo to 3 year old kids on how I would teach them the ABC's of both English and substance abuse.
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Aussiedan
non-member comment
At least we taught u how do drink alot of piss whilst you were here!!! i might come and see you one day, we can have a fried rat or something