Have you always dreamed of owning your very own fluorescent chick? Do you want to buy a live goldfish contained in a water-filled Christmas bauble? How about a stroll through one of Jinan's parks to hear the sweet tune of caged birds. Well lets face it, the locals would probably eat the wild ones. Not enough? Having to plug headphones in to drown out the sound of the restaurant workers across the street take a stick to some dog during their break? I scream at them in English, they think I'm a lunatic. Want more? Want to buy a puppy off the street? Better tell them fast you want it as a pet before they chop its head off. Want all this and more? Then visit China! Heck, the fish are fresh. They leap out of tanks at the supermarket and wriggle around near the bakery.